Trans Megathread for the Week of 10⁄28 to 11⁄3)
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K (189?–?) Soviet pioneer. From Kazan, Tartarstan, USSR, K was diagnosed as a ‘transvestite’ in 1937.
She was given permission by the People’s Court to wear female clothing, her identity papers were changed to her female name, and her name was removed from the military recruitment rolls.
She was featured in a 1957 gynaecology textbook.
M.G. Serdiukov. Sudebnaia ginekologiia I sudebnoi akusherstvo. Moscow: Meditsina 1957: 47-8.
Dan Healey. Homosexual Desire in Revolutionary Russia: The Regulation of Sexual and Gender Dissent. Chicago and London: The University of Chicago Press, 2001: fig 24.
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me's weird morning, CW anxiety, drugs
So I was sick the past few days. I ate some stuff that made me feel weird, and it kinda broke my digestive system. Meal planning fail. We banned that recipe, don't worry.I've also been really stressed the past few days. To the point where I have been having nightmares where I'd wake up in a panic - one of them was even about a time I was in middle school and went to sit down with my friends for lunch and they all got up and walked away after I sat down - classic... lots of causes for this anxiety that I won't list here, but I have to do some big changes at work soon and it's been eating me how to accomplish that is a big one.
Last night I didn't sleep very well (just like the nights before), and when I woke up again today and felt my stomach just hurting again (this is probably eating food too heavy last night) I knew I had to call in sick. So I did, decided to watch someone play both Zelda CDi games (lol, you have to bomb the boulders ten times, fucking classic, gets 'em every time, tbh I think I like Wand of Gamelon better it feels more like a world than Faces of Evil).
But Partner suggested I try this CBD gummy thing since he takes them to help him sleep when he starts to get insomnic phases. 25mg. Usually it doesn't do anything for me at all, so I just kinda wrote it off. Plus, it's not psychoactive anyway (CBD isn't supposed to be), but I was desperate and I trust him.
At some point after taking it, my tummy stopped hurting (I'm relatively sure this was made way worse by anxiety), and I started to relax a bit?? Then I finally was really tired. Eventually I slept and had three dreams that would normally hugely provoke anxiety (if you're curious, 1. Having a difficult conversation with my boss, 2. wasps being anywhere near me, 3. being in a crowded public place with people looking at me, also with my mom, this last one was great, I was kinda just proud of who I was??) but was totally zen. I woke up feeling the long-coveted feeling of "no matter what happens in the future, I will be okay." fuck how do I get like this all the time, fuck anxiety tbh lol
Chat, for a good few hours I had no anxiety. I didn't realize how bad it had built up recently, but for a few hours it was completely gone. I had some bad experiences with THC recently, and like I said the CBD shit never really does anything for me usually as far as I knew, but today I am glad for the funny plant.
Or maybe it was watching the vids, idk, lol. End post
thank you, yeah I'm not sure really why it worked this time, I usually don't feel anything (hell yeah I took a second before bed... I really need a good sleep so I can get back to work tomorrow). But I read a study this past week that had dosing guidelines for treating chronic pain, even, so it works for some people apparently. And I can't discount my experience today. I'm curious to see how it affects people that I know a bit more about though... so I'd love to hear if you do.
update: being able to take a break from anxiety is so good for emotional processing holy shit I was finally able to put to words some stuff ive been unable to for a bit now
Anxiety is such a rough one, im glad you got some respite
thank you!!
Having a break is incredible, I forget how nice it is sometimes.