this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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pointless complaining
Feeling the dysphoria so much lately. Why does all the trans stuff have to be so much gatekeeping by insurance / medical professionals / etc. . Top surgery would improve my life so much. But no. I do own a binder, but it's too small, I need to get a bigger size before I can wear it, it's expensive, and it's not the same as actually fixing the problem of having the wrong body. No hope of transitioning unless either my family changes their opinion on trans issues or I find someone else to support me. Sad.spoiler
I have the exact same issue where my binder is too small and a new one is too expensivesharing isn't pointless dear idk why it helps but it helps and we are here for you to share these feelings with.
i'm sorry to hear you're going through some dysphoria. It really does suck that so much of what should be so simple is denied to us due to politics.
spoiler
Yeah it's fucking annoying and expensive and just unjust. It's a real inequity.I hope your family comes around or you figure out how to get stuff sorted on your own (tall order, I have support from people and I have spare cash and it's not like it's any easier except my threshold for bullshit and willingness to be pestering and annoying maybe).
What do you need your families support for top surgery? For them to pay for it or be on their insurance? It's definitely not cheap but you could save up for it.
spoiler
I can barely take care of myself / cook food / etc. when I'm healthy, I will definitely need help with that when recovering from a big surgery...
Currently, I also live off their money as my own part-time job does not pay enough, but I hope that somewhen in the future, I get a better-paying job. (Or maybe instead the economy collapses and I never find employment again and go die, that's probably the more likely ) Maybe then, I can save up some money. Good point.
Is that possible for the hormones, too? Paying for them out of my own money instead of insurance? Or are the only options either going through whatever processes the insurance needs, or buying it from shady places online? I looked up "informed consent", thanks to someone on here suggesting it, but unfortunately that way doesn't seem to be offered in this country
And everything else aside, just having them navigate all the bureaucratic mess and schedule appointments would be incredibly helpful, they got much more experience with how to get these system to do what you need them to, if they were on my side, I probably already could have started transitioning
Small hope that maybe I can somehow convince my mother, at least she doesn't actively hate trans people
spoiler
Oh I understand more now, this is a ability thing and a sickness thing and right now your family are the main ones helping you.Yeah, from what I understand of top surgery it's expensive still, but it's $5K to $15K expensive. Like, used car expensive (maybe a year or two old and still pretty primo used but you get it). It could take a long time to fund but depending on your gig you could absolutely save up enough for it. Bottom surgery is the more expensive one depending on what exactly you want done, that's the one that reaches a 15% down payment on a pretty good house.
If you're looking for T, I'm pretty sure there are still DIY ways to get it but T is a controlled substance so it's a little harder. We actually should have a guide somewhere on hexbear for it, I think... Anyway T works way faster than feminizing HRT as well. It's going to be noticeable sooner than E is for anyone who knows you, which can be a plus in that you'll start getting all the cool stuff faster (voice drop, body and facial hair, amenorrhea, muscle growth, androgenized body fat etc) but could be a minus if you still want to stealth - don't get me wrong, the cis are kind of clueless so don't be surprised if all that happens and your family still doesn't notice lol.
Absolutely about the gatekeeping and just general bullshit. Every time I turn around I have to pay another $100 for something stupid or its just another road block for no reason, change my name on this, get an official thing over there, insurance rejection for surgery gotta refile, yadda yadda. It's a lot to handle, for sure. And I have it relatively easy! I'm out socially, my family is supportive, I have a good job and pretty good supplemental insurance, I live in Canada and we cover a lot of this stuff (not everything, I want FFS and I had to pay for my adam's apple reduction). It's all the little stuff that just wants to pile on and on