Q: Where is the Gaza Strip?
A: Don’t worry about it. It won’t exist by the end of the week.
Q: How has the media approached the conflict?
A: Swiftly and irresponsibly.
Q: How many people have died?
A: That depends on whether you count Palestinian deaths as well.
Q: Am I allowed to be sad for all of the victims?
A: Absolutely not. You have to pick a side.
Q: What’s been the international response?
A: People across the world have contributed an outpouring of infographics.
Q: How has the United States responded?
A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death.
Q: How is Israel working to avoid civilian casualties?
A: Civilians in Gaza are being given the opportunity to be driven out of their homeland forever.
Q: Where can I learn more?
A: This is a logistically and morally complex situation involving decades of recent history and thousands of years of context, so try your cousin’s Instagram stories.
Q: What lessons should I take from this conflict?
A: That dehumanization begets dehumanization, terror begets terror, and none of us will be free until all of us are free; or, you know, that it might be easier to just look away.
The "absolutely not you have to pick a side" part smells of liberalism.
it's so "morally complex" to resist genocidal apartheid in the world's largest open-air prison
There's plenty of moral complexity involved, just not at the level of whether Israel's occupation of Palestine should be opposed.
I'm sure it's complex for the PFLP guys who have to ally with Hamas against Israel, just like there was for the CPC allying with the KMT against Imperial Japanese occupation (after all even the most crazed imaginings of Zionist propaganda about Hamas don't match the KMT's demonstrated disregard for civilian life)
Standing next to the likes of CNN is doing The Onion a lot of favors
They aren't wrong, and they haven't picked the wrong side.
It is not about them picking a side or which one. The statement seems to imply that if you pick a side it is out of idelogical.dogmatism or something like that and you don't mind other side's civilians being killed. Hardline Zionists don't consider Arabs humans. It is also likely true that some Palestine supporters don't bat an eye at Israeli civilian causualties. But I don't think it is a good idea to equate support for either side when the war is so asymmetrical and there is a ton of propaganda barrage.
The people who are "for the Israeli and Palestenian people" already spend more chastising Hamas than Israel while Israel is receiving billions of dollars in aid and several warships for backup. I don't think it's fair to equate both sides like this.
You're doing the thing here, the whole joke is meant to be about this. They are fully on the Palestinian side, but are poking fun at positions like this (which are correct) and trying to draw attention to them.
So far the Onion has been one of the most lucid reporters on this conflict through the lense of satire.
And to be clear 🇵🇸 from the river to the sea 🇵🇸
I'll be honest it doesn't read like that to me. But it's definitely possible that I could be wrong. It is just the baggage that comes with sarcasm, irony and satire.
the onion is a satirical news website, almost every article is like this