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You are within your rights... (hexbear.net)

submitted 6 months ago by InevitableSwing@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] Egon@hexbear.net 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I just skimmed the last of their final message and it's really funny.
On the one hand they will now log off, work thru their emotions and then do some self-crit (it seems).
On the other, if I'd just been nice and respectful to them, they would have changed their mind (which they also have said was never going to happen) or something? Wed have had a nice discussion? It seems like treating them harshly is the only thing that has any chance of having an effect, by their own admission, but I also messed up by treating them harshly, because they're sad now.
Who knows, I've been there myself.

Anyway good night, sleep tite

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 24 points 6 months ago

Yeah, being harsh like this sucks for them, it's not nice to try and be friendly and have people get mad at the things you say, it hurts, but it isn't done out of genuine hatred, just anger at what they are saying, and hope that they improve in the future. I do think this whole conversation will spark a big change in their behaviour going forward, hopefully a positive one, or at least helps them on the way to one. They seemed more close to proper self-crit than most libs I've seen, so I hope they reflect on this. Probably good that it's stopping now, if I had kept going, it wouldn't be out of a desire to see them improve, but it would just be bullying them. I should probably self-crit a bit myself and work on improving my self control.

Good night!

[-] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

bullying them.

Sometimes bullying is all that works. That is sort of why hexbear got its reputation.

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 6 months ago

I meant more that it would no longer be bullying them to change their ways, but just mocking them to be a smug douchebag, being cruel for cruelty's sake. That's never a good place to be in.

[-] Moonworm@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Maybe there's a little daylight between "bullying" by being firm and telling people they should be killed - and then acting incredulous that they thought you meant it.

[-] Egon@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

I'm not incredulous that they thought I meant that they should get beat up, because I did mean it.
I'm "acting incredulous" about the fact that they behave in a shitty way, say shitty things, and are then surprised when people are mean to them. I "act incredulous" about the fact that they concede points, but since I made them sad, that's all that matters.