this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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chapotraphouse
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calling it right now: this is just going to be driven remotely by some dude
easy call, I know, but still, calling it now
In a near future press conference - Elon is angry and he finally goes ballistic.
"Listen and understand. The car is automated. It is automated. How many times must I say this. It is automated! For quality control the car is monitored by the Tesla Monitoring Center in Bangalore."
A reporter yells out " 'Monitoring' includes driving, right?"
"That is a lie! You little ffff—" and somehow Elon gets himself not to call the reporter a "fucker". But he starts storming off the stage like a Stormtrooper and with his back is to the reporters he's yells "It is automated!"
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Later in the middle of the night Tesla issues a terse press release saying little more than: "For quality control the car is monitored by the Tesla Monitoring Center in Bangalore. Such control may include navigation management and adjustments..."
i hate that i imagined him doing all that in perfect clarity
When you change the definition of person, anything can be automated!
Elon is the type to invent warhammer 40k servitors then give them even more dehumanising name(TM)