As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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My they/them tags are mostly legacy content that needs to be removed, at least right now I think I want to use she/her exclusively in the future.
Unless I'm just completely misunderstanding what you're saying.
Then remove it maybe. If you want she/hers, just use that tag. Maybe it sounds weird, but your username and pfp are pretty androgynous so I guess I understand if people see it and default to they/them, taking a glance at your pronouns. I default they them (for others regardless of gender) no matter what, personally. I like she/hers too, tho.
The thing is I completely understand defaulting to they/them online and do the same, you don't really see any of my presentation online. Right now my presentation irl is completely a guy, and I'd understand/be fine with someone using he/him but once I start changing that... You know?
I remember the inevitable "let's go around the room and say our names and pronouns" and feeling locked up cause I boymoded that day... ugh awful. I ended up saying I just wasn't using pronouns even though inside I was screaming "just use she/her pleeeeeaaase." I didn't like the idea of boymode me being so incongrous with what I wanted to be referred to as.
When I girlmode and people do the pronoun circle I say they/them usually, but yeah I feel super shitty whenever I get in that situation and I have to lie
As an egg, I was glad to never be asked my pronouns cause I didn't want to think about that.
cis folks are dumb about gender
I haven't started hormones yet so I definitely have masculine traits. Anyway I was at a party and presenting very feminine otherwise, and I got misgendered. I gently corrected the person and that was it.
I think a lot of cis people are defaulting to they them, in an effort to not assume. But they don't realize that itself is an assumption.
What I would like though is more people just asking what pronouns I prefer. And I hope we'll get there soon, but yeah cis people don't understand that it's okay to ask and I had to explain it to cis friend of mine who was not sure how they should gender somebody that was presenting very gender neutral that they had recently met. So I told her just to ask.
Which is what I do in trans spaces and with other gender non-conforming folk. I just ask.
I default they/them in real life too lol. I donβt relate particularly, but I understand.
I would advise you to use she/her as your pronouns if that's exclusively what you want people to use! Pronouns are weird, gender is a fuck, if you feel better about having a they/them on there that's understandable.
Try it out for a couple days and see how it makes you feel. If it's just too much anxiety, that's okay. You're allowed to use whatever pronouns you want to.