im fucking screaming i have to get estrogen and a fuckin therapist soon its so fucking hard to do myself.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Hi everybody! My schedule has been really unforgiving, so I may or may not end up writing something and making changes to the post later in the week.
Regardless, I hope you all have a good week!
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Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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Couldnβt find a skirt but I found this sickass Sonic mug
damn you got to be real skinny if you could wear that as a skirt
Maybe it's like a 52 gallon drum and the perspective in the pic is just real fucky
Really nervous about the clothes I bought online.
We couldnβt find anything good at the store so idk how well they will fit me.
Iβve never bought a womanβs dress shirt before and I keep just seeing in my head a picture from when I wore a menβs dress shirt before I got on hrt that I hated how I looked in and Iβm scared it will look like that or worse. 
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Teleconferenced into my first meeting of a trans support group. It was mainly talking with a provider at a regional gender clinic for the process on getting care and approval for surgical treatment, so unfortunately didn't do any icebreakers or really "meet" anyone. I need to go in person at some point, but it's an hour drive.
There's an in-person group this weekend however, which is only a 15 minute drive so I am excited for that.
Does anyone have advice for buying needles for subq injections
some states let you buy them online some don't. Even in states that "don't" you can usually find some identical ones marketed as being veterinary insulin needles that everyone says are fine, but I haven't tried them personally. Lotta states let you buy them in person without a prescription, though the pharmacist might give you a hard time if its a chuddy area. As a fallback, reach out to harm reduction orgs in your area and see where they get theirs/if you can get some, because they will have some. A variety of sizes should work in a pinch so don't stress about getting the exact right gauge and length as long as its close, though you will probably have preferences.
I just bought them on Amazonβ¦unless you mean size and stuff
You can buy needles online, some pharmacies are cool with it if you can't do online. I requisition/liberate mine from where I work. You should get a sharps container. Do not reuse or share needles is the official advice
Subq should be around 25 gauge and 5/8" for length, I use longer because for some godforsaken reason all our needle are an inch long and I'm comfortable using it. I've had to give insulin to some pretty cachetic people with diabetes, its possible to stick that needle pretty much anywhere if you can spot it right. Unless you have some injection training or experience, stick with 5/8" and the typical spots.
I have been trying to pick up writing, just for a little bit a day (in addition to the journaling I was already doing). Just sense memory exercises, really. It would be fun to make music and I do fuck around in a DAW occasionally but I dont really know what i'm doing when it comes to actually like, making tracks? Idk. If I want to get any further I'll need to figure out a way to work my brain a little bit a day without getting burnt out.
Literally no skirts at this mall 
spoiler
wake up
suffering
it doesn't stop
Please let it stop. I'd give anything. Nothing works. This is inescapable. Life is just horrible for me I guess. I don't deserve this.
Why did I have to be born like this. Why did this happen.
There was this gossip website I used to browse that I canβt find anymore. It was largely comprised of older queer people who would gossip about Hollywood from the Golden Age to the 80βs.
It was from them that I learned the rumors of Mickey Rooney secretly visiting glory holes and Walt Disney possibly having a fling with a starlet.
i finished I Love Amy and it was fantastic, very glad that i picked it up - 10/10
but i need moooooore! are there any other (completed?) yuri recommends i can source from the mega?
Mage and Demon Queen is great
ooh that looks fun, i'll have a look at it tonight. thank you!!
I have no recs, just wanted to say that I also loved I Love Amy.
(i also need more)
I just finished the first set of paperwork to get a court ordered name change! I mail it off Thursday. I'm excited! 
Only getting two hours of sleep was probably not ideal, but I do love being able to earnestly call myself God's Sleepiest Princess.
Money longer than KD's feet
Money got longer, speaker got louder, car got faster
Top shelf zaza disrupted my circadian rhythm
Call me Ben Simmons, cuz I don't play at ALL
Are there bras you can buy from a store without getting fitted for one?
You should be able to go to any underwear store or Walmart style store and pick bras off a rack without trying them on. That'd be a little fool hardy, you should try them on cause undergarments are usually not returnable, but you could do it if you know your measurements. Or if you just want a bralette.
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Lots of exciting developments happening lately. I got my FFS surgery officially scheduled and it's less than a month away now. Electrolysis is going well; my upper lip is almost clear (at least for this growth cycle) and my facial hair is visibly reduced in most areas except chin. I bought and used an epilator for the first time and though I was worried about pain at first, it's honestly nothing compared to what I've been going though every week with electro. I'll be starting speech therapy for feminization soon. I've been more social in 1 month than I was for all of last year, and I've already started work on (further) radicalizing my new friends. Oh and I'm like 99% sure I'm going to get the job I really want that I interviewed for recently, mostly because my resume was put forward by the boss and have other recs from inside the org supporting me.
If no one has said it yet: I'm very proud of you
You're making me tear up a little 
Thank you, I really appreciate the encouragement 
ranting about gebder
I used to think being trans was some kind of horrible curse but the more I lean into it, I don't just love the idea of it more, I love myself more. Life would have definitely been easier if I was born cis (of either gender) but I don't think I could have the perspective I do if I never thought about gender the way I can now.
Absolutely. I didn't always feel the same, but I really appreciate being trans now. If I had the choice to reincarnate and choose how I come back, I think I'd want to be trans again.
spoiler
yeah my opinion on it ranges anywhere from "god this sucks" to "okay, actually I kind of like having a broad chest". No matter how bad my opinion on it gets at any given moment, I don't think I've ever truly felt I was in the "wrong" body. Some women are trans. This has always been true and always will, and I'm one of them
I really wish I could get pregnant
I really wish I could sound like a cis girl
I wish I didn't have the broad chest and long arms of someone who didn't go through T puberty
but at the end of the day, I cannot say that any divine mistakes were made made. Venus made her daughter exactly as she was supposed to be
You can sound like a cis girl btw. You just gotta send it. By send it, I mean use your best shot at a full femm voice at all times, especially when just talking to yourself at home. The first few weeks will be the most embarrassing shit ever but also the most liberating shit you've ever felt. Then after like 3 months of full sending it and rolling with the embarrassment, you'll just start passing, just like that.
spoiler
Yes!! If I was cis I probably would never have explored my gender at all and missed a whole dimension to life. Being around genderqueer people is also so nice
Look at you hacker, a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?
sorry I was distracted. was fighting a psychic monkey who shot a fireball at me
On roller skates, dats how
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I've been keeping a transitioning journal ever since my egg cracked months ago and it's funny how shortly after I started HRT, it went from lengthy, emotional reflections on my life and thoughts about gender, to brief rudimentary and primitive phrases. they used to be one, if not multiple paragraphs, but the last two are just "booba itchy" and "so fucking horny rn". it's like in a horror game when you find logs from characters documenting getting infected and turning into a zombie, but instead of getting the T virus, I'm just turning into a girl.
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horni
I need a new chew toy
Hurry up and come over
π§ββοΈ
My hair is the longest it's ever been and I love it. I'm also wearing more jewelry, accessorizing is just very fun
Glamorous! β