this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse

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Q: Where is the Gaza Strip? A: Don’t worry about it. It won’t exist by the end of the week.

Q: How has the media approached the conflict? A: Swiftly and irresponsibly.

Q: How many people have died? A: That depends on whether you count Palestinian deaths as well.

Q: Am I allowed to be sad for all of the victims? A: Absolutely not. You have to pick a side.

Q: What’s been the international response? A: People across the world have contributed an outpouring of infographics.

Q: How has the United States responded? A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death.

Q: How is Israel working to avoid civilian casualties? A: Civilians in Gaza are being given the opportunity to be driven out of their homeland forever.

Q: Where can I learn more? A: This is a logistically and morally complex situation involving decades of recent history and thousands of years of context, so try your cousin’s Instagram stories.

Q: What lessons should I take from this conflict? A: That dehumanization begets dehumanization, terror begets terror, and none of us will be free until all of us are free; or, you know, that it might be easier to just look away.

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[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago

Q: How has the United States responded? A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death.

eric-andre

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago

The Onion is the answer to the question: "What would we get if we gave an entire news media company Jester's privilege?"

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The "absolutely not you have to pick a side" part smells of liberalism.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it's so "morally complex" to resist genocidal apartheid in the world's largest open-air prison

[–] ProfessorAdonisCnut@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

There's plenty of moral complexity involved, just not at the level of whether Israel's occupation of Palestine should be opposed.

I'm sure it's complex for the PFLP guys who have to ally with Hamas against Israel, just like there was for the CPC allying with the KMT against Imperial Japanese occupation (after all even the most crazed imaginings of Zionist propaganda about Hamas don't match the KMT's demonstrated disregard for civilian life)

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Standing next to the likes of CNN is doing The Onion a lot of favors

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They aren't wrong, and they haven't picked the wrong side.

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is not about them picking a side or which one. The statement seems to imply that if you pick a side it is out of idelogical.dogmatism or something like that and you don't mind other side's civilians being killed. Hardline Zionists don't consider Arabs humans. It is also likely true that some Palestine supporters don't bat an eye at Israeli civilian causualties. But I don't think it is a good idea to equate support for either side when the war is so asymmetrical and there is a ton of propaganda barrage.

The people who are "for the Israeli and Palestenian people" already spend more chastising Hamas than Israel while Israel is receiving billions of dollars in aid and several warships for backup. I don't think it's fair to equate both sides like this.

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

But I don't think it is a good idea to equate support for either side when the war is so asymmetrical and there is a ton of propaganda barrage.

You're doing the thing here, the whole joke is meant to be about this. They are fully on the Palestinian side, but are poking fun at positions like this (which are correct) and trying to draw attention to them.

So far the Onion has been one of the most lucid reporters on this conflict through the lense of satire.

And to be clear 🇵🇸 from the river to the sea 🇵🇸

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'll be honest it doesn't read like that to me. But it's definitely possible that I could be wrong. It is just the baggage that comes with sarcasm, irony and satire.

[–] notenoughbutter@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

the onion is a satirical news website, almost every article is like this

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

-1. It’s not thousands of years. It’s 100 at most and is just the general imperialist playbook.

-2. Siding with the colonized is the only correct choice.

-3. You don’t need to be a history buff to have an opinion.

-4. Let’s look away from the genocide. Great idea.

-5. It’s not the swiftness (Taylor’s edition) or lack of responsibility that is the problem with the media it’s that they are paid to always side with the oppressors and colonizers.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

morally complex

:internet-delenda-est:

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

The Palestinians are being genocided, but then again they’re also antisemitic because they don’t support a Jewish ethnostate, so who can really say whether they deserve it or not?

[–] sloth@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Continuing to fail to miss.