Also, fun fact: James Madison (who was the fourth president and wrote the American Constitution) had a black son who he owned as a slave, and who was the result of him raping his own half-black sister, who he also owned as a slave.

Crimson Gold Apple

"A crabapple in disguise". 31 points, "Horse food" tier

These little shits are glorified crabapples masquerading as edible fruit and should not be tolerated outside of cider production and pretentious baking applications. Each minuscule bite of these filthy monkey cheeks explode with an intense yet somehow dry flavor combination that will make you want to spontaneously vomit. Do not be fooled by this repackaged trash, Crimson Gold is just a misleading name slapped on a swollen testicle.

holy shit i am crying in the break room right now

new struggle session dropped!

There are better tasting apples, but there aren't any better tasting apples with anywhere near the same shelf life. As someone who eats maybe an apple or two a week this is an important consideration.

It's a good apple and I think they're not being entirely fair, but the skin is worse than Honeycrisp.

The Red Delicious is "A baseball glove filled with coffee grounds". That is correct.

Thank you both, this is amazing.

"Red Delicious" were a triumph of labeling and marketing, much like LLMs being called "AIs" and shoving people out of work while doing shittier jobs.

- Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit.

- This fever dream of a deranged Washingtonian scientist is shielded by a clever name and shifty marketing team who carelessly toss around manufactured flavor notes such as “caramel”, “warm cider”, and “subtle cinnamon.”

- But, make no mistake, this pee-stained lump-fruit tastes less like cider and cinnamon and more like a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor that someone accidentally spilled cinnamon on. Which makes this apple less Autumn Glory more Autumn Glory Hole.

- That being said, this nasty piss floor of an apple does have the benefit of tasting unique.

- And while it certainly won’t be for everyone, there are an adventurous few who may actually enjoy a walk on the wild side.

I kinda pity the person who had real life experiences to even think about those particular metaphors.

https://applerankings.com/opal-apple-review/ This one is pretty good.

Here’s the site’s reaction to that:

https://applerankings.com/granny-smith-apple-review/

fuck yeah you get it

I think your apple supply might just be shit. I can pretty consistently buy breeds of apple and get a similar experience

yeah i'm gonna have to call bullshit here. cultivars can certainly change over time because they're living things, but like if i go pick a honeycrips or sweetango from the grocery store it's gonna taste really good and it's just entirely different from a gala, the difference between cultivars is extremely obvious even if they're not as consistent as a processed product like cheetos. that website even talks about consistency and locality, assuming that the reason fuji apples are popular in japan is that they actually do taste better over there.