Crazy
WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN SURPRISE
this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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chapotraphouse
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I'M GETTING GOONED BY IRAN GODAMNIT
Sry to be the conveyor of bad news, but I've yet to see proof Iran even said that. The only source are tweets saying they said that afaik.
Stayed up late excited for no reason.
But probably so did thousands of Zionists while shitting themselves, worth it.
If I was Iran, I would intentionally spread hoaxes like this in order to keep Isreal’s guard up. It’s a battle of attrition. The longer they can keep their guard up the more manpower needed to operate their defenses, and the more stress accumulated in the population.
Khamenei is going to create a Hexbear account
Gets banned for excessive benis posting
And Ahmadinejad gets banned for posting Pro-Ukraine comments. Meanwhile Assad keeps defending himself from mean comments.
Assad doesn't know how to use the emojis and keeps getting irate at the pictures of pig poop balls that end up added to his posts
Do we have any Iranian hexbears?
Sup.
Sweet 
hope it is all safe by you.
How can we support?
They're gonna kill Spongebob aren't they?
An Iranian cleric, Shahab Moradi, said Iran would struggle to hit back against the US by striking a parallel figure to Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani because the US has only "fictional" heroes.
after 5 years of research, they've finally figured out how to do it...
They're going to settle it in smash!
The fictional hero Iran has decided to kill was Israel
Rip Peter spiderman
mr spongebob sir your fired
They are going to release the real Epstein file
They'll be like "behold! All your leaders are PEDOPHILES!" and we'd be like 
and they'd be like "damn bitch, you live like this?"
they are going to release information that could lead to the arrest of hillary clinton, and trump will stop the war.
The good ending
: "Folks, TREMENDOUS news coming out of Iran! These people, they're not all bad. Some very smart people over there, they're releasing the emails! The REAL emails about Crooked Hillary. Believe me! Nobody thought they'd do it, but they did. Iran did what our FBI couldn't do! Look, everyone's saying there's gonna be this huge war in 2025. Israel, Iran, very bad situation. Terrible! But I'm gonna stop it. Nobody can make deals like Trump. I'll call both sides, beautiful phone calls, perfect calls, and I'll say "Hey, no war! We don't need war!" And they'll listen because they respect Trump. Unlike Sleepy Joe who can't even find Iran on a map!"
They'll release that the election really was stolen, but it was by the Zachary Taylor administration in 1848
Literally the only thing that could live up to that is a nuke hitting Tel Aviv.
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so when is this happening? what are we theorizing it is?
what if iran leaks gta 6
Then everyone but Elon Musk will stop the war to play some bideo gaem.
I dunno about that, most people can't remember stuff that happened in the news last year and a lot also just don't even know this is even happening right now. Those of us keeping track are getting really hard to surprise. That's a huge promise to deliver in 2025
my body is ready for it
They played us like a damn fiddle.
It is possible that they were taking about the inaugural use of Fattah-1, but I was under the impression that Fattah-1 was used in True Promise II.
Jokes aside, whatever it is (Another strike of some sort I'm guessing) probably isn't gonna live up to that hype right?
Honestly? I recall when Mirandi a while back (the last time Israel tried) said that Iran would hit back much harder, and frankly I would call what Iran's been doing recently exactly that; It's entirely possible it won't live up to the hype, but so far they've been living up to the hype.
That said, all they allegedly said was they would do something that would be remembered for centuries; maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
Futurama beat them to it.
maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
When you defeat the Burgerreich by revealing all of its fast food formulas, causing the 
economy to collapse.
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What could actually be in history books and not just metabolized as yet more spectacle?
- An actual use of weapons of mass destruction, including biological weapons (even just spiking farmers fields with parasites)
- Total capitulation, on either side
- Complete shut down of iron dome/David's sling
- Khamenei resigning, that'd actual make it in books even if things don't change
- Khamenei reversing the fatwa against nuclear weapons
Actually, Iran striking US bases would be pretty historical. Or using some hypersonics, but I guess that'd fall under shut down or denial of iron dome. Or maybe just letting the leash go for the regional militias - apparently Iran has been a moderating force historically, they've wanted to jump in or retaliate or attack and its been Iran that's held them back.
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It's hard to imagine anything being remembered more than two weeks with our current hyperactive news cycles.
I for one am really learning what “fog of war” means between the ISSrael censorship and the understandable desire for the Iranians to hype up their attack capacity it is very hard to tell if the Iranians are really having a significant effect or if they’re more bark than bite
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Iran will reveal the Gundam.
They need to do it to some banger anime music.
Khamenei is Q and single handedly broke the American mind
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