this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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72
I found it. I've found the worst comment of the year. Warning: MAXIMUM LIBERALISM (www.reddit.com)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by KurtVonnegut@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net
32 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Prelude 1: "Was it worth it Hamas? Now what? Whats your plan?" -Extreme_Attention_99

Prelude 2: "The plan is to blame Israel for the destruction of civilian infrastructure and have a bunch of idiot leftist college kids to echo it on their behalf when not demanding student loan forgiveness." - TheRealAuthorSarge

The Absolute Banger: "As a leftist who supports military action in Gaza (and who paid off my student loans early), I agree. Not so often these days we have issues that don't split neatly down party lines, but this is one of them. My entire circle is fairly progressive, and there is a ton of support for Israel." -citori421

I had to dig a little further into the profile of citori421. Here's his "progressive circle" btw:

I have so many friends who maybe make 100k per year between them and their partner, buying $500,000 houses. https://www.reddit.com/r/ImTheMainCharacter/comments/18tbjl9/im_awesome_because_i_quit_my_job_and_became_a/kfha7m9/

He also, surprise surprise, hates women:

Like 90% of women flexing their business prowess on tiktok, there's a solid chance some dude with a boring real job is financing this https://www.reddit.com/r/ImTheMainCharacter/comments/18tbjl9/im_awesome_because_i_quit_my_job_and_became_a/kfgmh9e/

Apparently he lives in... Juneau, Alaska? Which means he gets a yearly $1,600 dividend from the Alaska Permanent Fund. Checkmate, capitalist!

It's a graveyard of non-professionals who dreamed big and failed hard. Don't move to Juneau unless you have plans to hit six figures like tomorrow. But it is one of the most "big city" little towns in the world. https://www.reddit.com/r/alaska/comments/18se4ud/best_city_in_alaska/kf8qkzy/

Oh, and he also admits he's a "fed" in the subreddit r/fednews. No, I am not joking:

I'm in a position as a fed where I get reference checks for past interns with a whole form I'm supposed to fill out like I'm performing a fuckin background investigation for them. For basic entry level jobs that will just be OJT. https://www.reddit.com/r/fednews/comments/18rahwc/always_make_sure_you_have_rock_solid_references/kf1xr22/?context=3

And the COUP DE GRACE, an amazing anti-Trump post that both proves how "progressive" this guy is while also being incredibly classist AND using an anti-neurodivergent slur:

Trump belongs in jail, because he's a criminal. There's a mountain of evidence and literal court decisions and the only thing saving him at the moment is politics. He'll eventually die in prison, and you'll switch to beating yourself off to the next right wing wannabe dictator that makes you feel safe by lying about the world and pretending to be able to do things for sure white trash to pull themselves out of the hole they dug themselves into. Also, lmaooooooo at your "source". This comment should be in a textbook chapter 200 years from now about the extent of r-t-rdation trump worshippers engaged in. [my censorship] https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmTheMainCharacter/comments/18qnx8d/no_words/key7kag/?context=3

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 65 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I love it when people call themselves a "as left as they come progressive, but not like those crazy far-left" or something like that, and then proceed to be:

  1. Pro Israel
  2. A rich shithead that doesn't realize how easy they have it while preaching bootstrap mentality.
  3. Hate even the most lukewarm leftist campaigns, like student loan forgiveness. (actual leftist policy would be guillotining the debt companies so be grateful, asshole)
  4. An entrepreneur because he has no real skills outside of grifting money
  5. Is sexist
  6. Is ableist
  7. Is an actual fed

As left as they come! doubt

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wish there was a big rubber hammer that would strike Americans in the face every time they think "left" means "not openly hating minorities and thinking weed is ok."

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I wish there was a big rubber hammer that would strike Americans in the face ~~every time they think "left" means "not openly hating minorities and thinking weed is ok."~~

bonk

[–] 420blazeit69@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Is an actual fed

I think it's important to make the distinction between a fedposting fed (who is actively employed to disrupt) and some asshole working for the Bureau of Land Management and posting on the job

[–] KurtVonnegut@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It's only called a Fed if it comes from the Quantico region of Virginia. Otherwise, it's just a sparkling hog.

hog-post

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I was wondering if me being a Rural PTF with the postal service makes me a fed, answer I came to was “only when it’s funny”

[–] D61@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

spiderman-pointing-at-spiderman.jpg

[–] AFineWayToDie@hexbear.net 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

/r/ImTheMainCharacter looks like one of those bullying subs that surged in popularity a few years back, like /r/cringe and /r/fatpeoplehate. This poster sounds like the type of person who'd revel in that kind of pure spite.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Half of that subreddit seems to be mocking black people who the users think are being too loud in public. Or just people making dance videos

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 27 points 10 months ago

“The plan is to blame Israel for the destruction of civilian infrastructure

"The plan is to blame Israel for doing the thing that it keeps doing."

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As a leftist who supports military action in Gaza (and who paid off my student loans early), I agree. Not so often these days we have issues that don't split neatly down party lines, but this is one of them. My entire circle is fairly progressive, and there is a ton of support for Israel.

Yea because the one thing both Republicans and Dems have always agreed on is funding for its military base in the Middle East.

[–] Deadend@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I just don’t get how good these these guys are at not having any empathy.

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Capitalism is a broken, sick, cruel system. Anyone who is "well-adjusted" under such a system is an incredibly fucked up human being.

[–] invo_rt@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's a reason CEOs of major corporations are all some flavor of sociopath.

[–] Grimble@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Also explains why every "wellness coach" gives off such sinister cheerful vibes

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm going in

[–] KurtVonnegut@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

07

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

The fish aren't biting

Yet

[–] ChestRockwell@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

stalin-bummed

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I and all my leftist friends support nobody. This is a turf war between bloods and crips - both groups represent ideas antithetical to a leftist worldview, and I have no idea how people support either.

Like do you back the nationalist government that refuses universal human rights or the folks who are basically a caliphate army with no country?

Hopefully this bloodletting can stop someday - but it's not going to - so why bother taking a side for moral reasons?

The only approach we can take as outsiders is back the regional coalitions we already back and avoid escalating.

hate

[–] KurtVonnegut@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The only approach we can take as outsiders

Outsiders? OUTSIDERS? The Prime Minister of Israel is literally from Philadelphia. They are the 51st state. Israel is an American military base with some decorations on top. It's like saying America should not interfere with South Korea vs. North Korea. A bit late for that!

back the regional coalitions we already back and avoid escalating

That is literally what protesters are asking for. We are asking for Biden to pressure Israel into not escalating. But then liberals get mad that roads are blocked off etc. because that's not "the right way" to push for de-escalation. What is the right way? Any way that doesn't actually work. Any way where activism is limited only to superficial cultural consumption. Those are the boundaries of liberal politics.

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Outsiders? OUTSIDERS? The Prime Minister of Israel is literally from Philadelphia. They are the 51st state. Israel is an American military base with some decorations on top. It's like saying America should not interfere with South Korea vs. North Korea. A bit late for that!

Yeah, and even if you want to make a much softer claim, most of the demands by Americans are not that "Israel must stop doing this or that" (though they openly want this, and for good reason), but rather that "The US must stop funding Israel so long as Israel continues to do this or that," which is exactly the sort of thing that literally the most philistine Politics Understander should be able to concede is reasonable for Americans to demand of the American government.

Your harder claim is also completely correct, but I think it's worth pointing out since some people would make an undue fuss about it.

[–] the_kid@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

"Was it worth it Judeo-Bolsheviks? Now what? What's your plan?" - average Munich resident ca. 1943

[–] footfaults@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

A deep dive on a lanyard wearing freak. Good job

[–] axont@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm aware that there are rich, comfy people I'm communicating with online. That should be obvious. But I get so much whiplash when they just admit to it and are also the worst people imaginable. People who make six figures or above are completely foreign to me, yet here they are posting in forums like they're anyone else. It's like getting mind reading powers and then hearing Cthulhu's thoughts.

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Depending on where you live 6 figures may still qualify as poverty, as ridiculous as that sounds. I moved from the midwest to the SF Bay Area with my partner many years ago because she got a job paying $100,000. We thought we hit the lottery and we were rich. We actually thought that. Then we loaded up the moving truck and did the 3 day drive and stayed at motel 6 while we searched for a place to live. Then we found out just how far $100k will go in the Bay Area. We could not find a single apartment within driving distance of her new job where $100k was enough income to qualify for a 1 bedroom apartment. Not one.

We had to beg my old job to write a letter stating that I was still employed with them, working remotely, for $50k a year so that we could qualify to get a 600sqft 1 bedroom apartment. Luckily they were willing to do that because it wasn't entirely false.. i was technically still "advising" my replacement but I definitely wasn't making $50k a year from them, but 150k combined income was JUST enough to allow us to get the apartment.

Now someone making $100k somewhere in Ohio or Missouri is living pretty damn well.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

What you're describing is still entirely foreign to me, sorry. Even getting hired for a six figure job is such an alien concept I can't fathom what kind of life that is or what kind of people your partner works with. Having enough money to move to a different state is by itself something that sounds impossible.

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 10 months ago

Believe me I understand. I grew up eating casseroles, hotdogs, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We had no money for school lunches so sometimes I didn't get lunch at school. My girlfriend is from Asia and got her PhD in biophysics. She does computational chemistry trying to help find potential drugs to treat cancer. I work in IT now and I also make good money in this area because this is where all the IT stuff is. It was always an alien concept to me that people could possibly have the kind of money that flies around here. I know it won't last... eventually the whole IT industry will take a giant dump and so many will be out of jobs once AI kicks into high gear, but for now we save as much as possible in preparation to leave and go find a place where we can actually afford to buy a house.

[–] KatsInSpace@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

not even close to the most liberal, but it is highly toxic

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

Amazing fucking username

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

This video is just building demolition, not tunnel demolition.

This charges ain't doing shit to anything more than a few meters underground. They're tiny.

All that energy in the explosions from the high camera viewpoint is going upwards instead of downwards.