I would like a gender button, because ideally I would just switch genders at will. That would be dope as hell

Replying again because I remembered a thought-

A sort of version of this question I've seen, that for me was a loooottt more helpful, but is more kinda aimed at sussing out if you're nonbinary vs male/female, was:

If you had been born as the opposite sex, would you have felt the need to physically transition?

And like. No? If I'd been born with a penis I think my main body dysphoria would've been over the fact that (based on my family) I would've been circumcised. The only physical change I would've done would be foreskin restoration, lol (also I'd work way harder at taking care of my butthole and not having hemorrhoids, since I wouldn't have the easier bottoming option I have now). Other than that I believe I'd just be a queer sometimes femme sometimes masc guy, I doubt I'd identify as any kind of trans.

But as is I was born into my body and have experienced decades of dysphoria and have been various states of egg for most of that time. I'm not a woman but living as a girl and then a woman has shaped so much of who I am, that to remove that, would fundamentally change me.

If there was a magical get a full sized uncut penis button I think I would probably (but like, I'm not even certain of that) press it?

But I'm not interested in any button that undoes my life. Because then I'm not me. And that line of thinking is confusing and gives me existential dread. No thanks.

(I'm not trans myself so I have an outside perspective)

I remember watching a video that basically said that gender essentialism ("born trans") is something you tell conservatives to accept you. The radical stance on the other side is "gender isn't something you are but something you do" if that makes sense. So in your case, you did a lot of male and now you want to do female. There is nothing wrong with that. You don't have to say that your former life was a lie nor that it defines what you are.

This isn't against people who say they felt it since they were little. So they did the other gender without showing.

I hope that makes sense. It's my outside perspective and I'm willing to learn. I can look up the video if you ask me to.

Edit: I took the time to rewatch the video and it is worth it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4r0CoXsGmk

I wish I had a slider where I can just change my gender from one side to the other, or somewhere in-between, through nano-machines that can rapidly disassemble and rebuild my anatomy.