i saw the tv glow now out on vod happy pride (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 months ago by Cromalin@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

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it's definitely also out wherever you get movies illicitly, so you can watch it for free wherever you are. now there's no excuse not to watch it, for all the reasons i laid out in this post. great movie about drowning in dysphoria and suffocating in the closet

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[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago

So there's a cinematic masterwork out there that perfectly captures all the parts of a trans biography that i've just escaped from and fucking loathe being reminded of because that feels like being pulled back underwater when you've just crawled onto the shore after swimming for your life?

tbf it does sound like a must watch for me 4 or 5 years from now, but i don't think i could do this movie any justice atm.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

I'm maybe 40 minutes into it right now, and there's also a lot of autism-coding going on with the protagonist (more in the "social anxiety, special interests, and tendency to zone out" sense than the Sheldon Bazooper stereotype). Or maybe I'm just projecting; I can't fucking tell anymore.

But yeah, it's a painful watch so far.

[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

there's also a lot of autism-coding going on with the protagonist (more in the "social anxiety, special interests, and tendency to zone out" sense

t4t dating is how i learned all i know about medieval urban planning and music theatre and how my subs expand their knowledge of paleontology, so i don't get to complain about this.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

Nice; sounds about right. I only brought it up because it's something I haven't seen mentioned in the other threads about the film -- I read a lot of overlap between dysphoric malaise and autistic burnout with the way that Smith plays the character, at least in the first third or so of the movie, which is appropriate because of how many of us (myself included) are ND and, in a lot of cases, on the spectrum. I also posted that comment like 10 minutes before the dysphoria narrative went from "vague symbolism" to "blatantly obvious."

I can confirm, though: if you just got out of the spiral of loneliness, depression, and denial, it is a hard fucking watch. 8 hours later, and quite honestly, I still feel enraged by it.

mild spoilers?

I keep wanting to throw around phrases like "the Charlie Brown of gender questioners" or "what if Neo took the blue pill in The Matrix" or "what if Atreyu/Bastian just rolled over and let the Nothing destroy any and all semblance of hope" or "House of 1,000 Corpses-ass ending, but psychological."

And I'm enraged by the notion that it's too late to burn away the facade and be true to yourself once you're in your early 40s because fuck you, life isn't over yet and you know it -- stand up and fight, or you will die a hollowed-out husk. The writer/director knows this, and decided to go the [psychological] "torture porn" route with it.

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I just watched it and it was pretty shocking how accurate the metaphor was. Im so far past a lot of my transition that it honestly made me angry. Like I was telling a past version of myself to wake the fuck up

I also definitely got the vibe the main character had something else going on too, autistic or pseudo autistic due to dysphoria and repressing the "real self".

[-] Cromalin@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

spoiler

i really don't think the movie thinks your 40s are too late. the message of the film is "there is still time", and though the ending is depressing, the main character has opened themselves up and recognized who they are and finally taken the first step to understanding what's going on inside. not to say your read is necessarily wrong, if that's what you got out of it then that's fair and i'm not trying to convince you otherwise. but i read it as saying "there is always still time" not "there is still time right now while you're 25, but in a decade it'll be too late"

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

CW: Suicidal ideation

So, the part that really resonated for me was when Owen just whips out a box cutter and starts hacking open their own chest. Taken literally, it's a very "start living or die trying" kind of scene. I went through something similar on my own journey, and at about that same age.

I made myself very sick while dabbling with an overly risky form of DIY HRT after having decided that I would rather accept the risk of dying from liver failure than continue existing as someone I'm not. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was 8 years old, and those first few weeks on shitty phytoestrogen and herbal T-blockers and liver enzyme suppressants and so forth were the first time I didn't feel that way. I saw myself in the mirror and for the first time in literal decades, I felt more intrigued than repulsed, as if something in my brain had just clicked into place.

I did end up stopping that HRT "program" after less than three months because I kept getting intense migraines and I was always sick to my stomach from the amount of stuff I was taking, but it ended up being a wake-up call. Let's just say that I felt like a complete ass when someone over here linked the DIY HRT wiki and I realized that all of that risk was unnecessary.

I guess it's not as dramatic as self-surgery with a box cutter, but what is?

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

Justice Smith was great in the D&D movie, is this a horror movie?

[-] Cromalin@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

he's great in this one too

it's a horror movie in that it's about horrifying situations, but it isn't really scary at any point beyond an existential dread. mostly just deeply sad and distressing but never in a way that has any adrenaline involved. it's fantastic, instantly an all time fave

vague spoiler

the movie is about being closeted and how miserable it is to repress who you are

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

How many Omoris of scary is it?

omori-neutral ?

[-] Cromalin@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

i have not played omori but i'm GUESSING based on vibes that it's like a 1 or a 2? extremely not scary scary, there's one scene that's imo mildly scary but other than that there's basically nothing i would describe as scary in the way a scary movie is scary

i really think you'd be ok

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

i have not played omori

then we both haven't played/watched something that we really need to. i'll work on fixing my end this weekend. Omori was a game I was expecting to be far more scary but it's really... just not that scary? There's a handful of jump scares every now and again but you can see them coming from a mile away and they're mild to boot

[-] Gay_Tomato@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

Isn't omori also more about existential dread? Sounds like these two things are comparable to me.

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

spoiler

grief, guilt, denial of reality. idk i don't know dick about shit about media analysis

[-] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago

Omori was is more a tragedy than a horror

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

I mean, there's a horrifying part right off the bat at the beginning where

spoiler

the protagonist's mother votes for Bill Clinton

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

Whoa, that was quick. Rumors initially were saying August/September at the earliest. bridget-vibe

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

I mean what's more trans than not leaving the house?

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Mood

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

Cool... But what is VOD?.. Don't laugh, I'm old!

[-] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 4 months ago

video on demand, typically as opposed to live streaming

[-] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 4 months ago

My apologies, I dont think I am at the stage in my life where I can stomach watching this. Ill keep it in the back of my head for a few years down the line when Im further into my transition

[-] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

Same here meow-hug

[-] buh@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

Fred Durst is in this one

this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024

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