this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Fuckin' Action Park
The fact that people reminisce fondly of going to a death park is astounding
"We used to be able to die in themeparks when I was a kid. We can't now, because of woke"
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If the terrordome were built people would wax nostalgic about it
No doubt in my mind. Just look at all the people who yearn for sports leagues to allow players violently mangle themselves until they're completely disabled.
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When he was a kid, my dad went to the original Action Park. A few years ago, he took me. When he came in, he said "There's some things missing, but it seems the same otherwise."
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Sometimes, the water runs out, and everybody is told to get out and spit into the water slide until it is full again.
Is it just me or could you swap those pictures with any water park in the US and nobody could tell the difference?
Pulling a John Oliver if John was based
no, when they post pictures of western water parks they turn up the vibrancy. when they post pictures of DPRK water parks they turn down the vibrancy. big difference
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if you can't tell, I, a North Korea specialist consultant to the US State Department, will explain what your eyes are seeing.
the rainbow colors of the slides is because at the "woke" water park, everyone is forced to become homosexual and get gay married by a general in the Korean army.
also, Kim il sung is allowed to cut in front of everyone to go in the rides and anyone who doesn't clap for him is beaten with sticks until they deny Christ 3 times.
the rainbow colors of the slides is because at the "woke" water park, everyone is forced to become homosexual and get gay married by a general in the Korean army.
The only thing that ever makes pictures out of the DPRK look “creepy” is really just that things are often made with materials that look a bit cheap
Which tends to happen when you put a country under a blockade for decades
I often see that from crackers, they complain that NK looks stuck in like the 70's and gee I bet that has something to do with the fucking embargo the country's been under since it's inception like you said.
And at the same time all the Boomers love the old cars in Cuba
The ones who even know that much about Cuba
In my experience, they usually do. Just shit like:
Shame Cuba is such a dictatorship, I'd love to go there to get some cigars and see those classic cars.
Still virtually no knowledge of Cuba and its history lol
My coworkers know I'm going to Cuba next month and one said it's a shame I'm bringing my GF and said they'd just sit back with mojitos, a cigar, and a prostitute.
Yeah what the fuck
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There also aren't brands and advertisements everywhere, plus urban areas usually seem sensibly designed. Americans are terrified if they don't know where the closest Taco Bell is.
Advertising fuck yes that’s what’s missing and I think that’s actually a bigger factor than material quality
Seeing brand logos everywhere is such a part of my daily reality that I didn’t even realize that was what’s missing
Hell, even non-brands have logos! We have logos all over the place!
And these pictures don’t even have that problem that looks like a very normal water park
also, they usually cherry pick photos from when its cloudy, grey, foggy
Kim's objective in building the extravagant park was likely to show off his greatness to foreign leaders amid reports that many of his people are living in poverty and going hungry.
https://www.newsweek.com/kim-jong-un-water-park-fan-637200
Apparently NK is showing off its greatness with rock climbing and an on-site craft beer microbrew
https://www.uritours.com/blog/new-dprk-site-spotted-munsu-water-park/
Kim's flexing
Uritours site is funny, lol.
"GET A HAIRCUT Find out if there’s truth to the recent headlines that say there are only 28 state-approved hair styles. (Spoiler: the charts are only used as a guide, we’re told)."
Have these people ever gone to a barber? Haircut posters with models wearing different cuts are a thing in literally every barber I've ever been in
and anyone caught wearing socks that are too short are publicly ridiculed
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in bad country, citizens are required to queue for upwards of several minutes before going down the state-owned water slide
really scraping the bottom of the propaganda barrel with this one, huh?
citizens have to bring their own water and pour it down the slides while someone catches it at bottom. then they're forced to carry the water back up stairs to the top to do it all over again.
Also,
Yeonmi Water-Park 
Yeonmi Water-Park
dammit i should've seen that one, i will assign myself 3 extra turns pushing the bumper cars
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How in the hell does Disney not win creepiest parks award?
The creepiest parks award judges can't afford to go
I'd throw a dart at a list of water parks in the US, go to that park's food court, and post a picture of the price of food. I guarantee it's creepier than those pictures.
I can't tell you how relieved I was to go places outside the anglosphere, and sometimes even in the anglosphere, and being fed for a price comparable to going to a US grocery store even while being a captive audience.
Instead of water they use the blood of people that got individualist hair cuts
Meanwhile in New Jersey 
Hey kid, you wanna go on this fucked up water ride? Be a real shame if ya didn't.
Go for the easy to get booze, stay because you get too injured to leave
The US has a long tradition of sketch water parks. One got shut down near me because a bunch of kids had tiny worms swim up their dicks and it gave them horrible bladder infections. I think, there was something with worms and dicks and kids getting sick, it was in the news.
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Why is it creepy, you may ask? It's because Kim Jong Un goes to everyone's house and points a gun at people and tells them they HAVE to go there. And then he DRIVES them there in an old Soviet TANK that his grandfather got from STALIN. STATE-MANDATED visits to the water park. And because of communism they have to ration the amount of time you spend on the slides. You can only go on one during each visit, which is only once a decade. And the poor souls of North Korea are, much like insects, DRONES who are so BRAINWASHED that they don't even resist!
I ask the Juche Waterpark manager if the waterslide is creepy or wet.
I have always thought that the Wisconsin Dells was authoritarian, and now I have theory to base that analysis in!
It is called Noah's Ark, not only because of the size of the water park (although 100 cubits isn't that large) but also because it was designed to protect mating pairs of white people in the case of the end times
I'm more concerned with the fact that there's pyramids for skylights
They're letting the White Phaoroah influence their architecture and that's not good
Now that's creepy
This looks like so much fun I wish my city had something like that
You bastard you made me go down a rabbit hole and watch 3 hours of defunctland
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