Tribute to Thomas Matthew Crooks (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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The silicon chip inside his head gets switched to overload,

but he wasn't plannin' to shoot a school today,

He's gonna plan something more bold

And no one saw the red flags right off him

Nor his intent, by his good OpSec

So we could see no reason

Not a hint of reason

to shoot Donald Trump at all

Edit - parody of "I don't like mondays"

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[-] Vampire@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

I don't think it was politically motivated, I think he was just sport-shooting. Using Donald Trump as a rabbit.

[-] join_the_iww@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

This is probably far-fetched, but I'd like to think that Crooks was the first republican to actually be intellectually honest about Trump's connections to Jeffrey Epstein, and decided to take "kill your local pedophile" to its logical conclusion

[-] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh, I been trainin' since yesterday
To put ol' Don in a mortuary
His blood is mine to spill
Since my ol da got kill
When on the sixth of January
He stormed up capitol hill
For that failed rebellion
I will turn his brains to bouillon
Unless the wind shifts to the north
And sends my rounds off course
Oh wouldn't that be a pity
To have aim so shitty
That all I hit
is a no-name sycophant