I hope we all know this and are just doing it as a bit, but sometimes I do see shit on this website that makes me go “Oh y’all are genuinely just weird prudes”
The “gooner epidemic” is not real, gooning is an incredibly niche kink that very few people engage in.
“Porn addiction” is basically non existent and affects such a small portion of the population as to not be relevant. The idea that most people have in their heads about porn addiction is propaganda made up by evangelicals.
We do not live in an overly-sexually-liberated time. There is not an excess of sexual content or exposure to it.
Most of the time when people talk about “the gooner problem” what they’re actually talking about is a mix of two unrelated things, people living normal sexually liberated lives, and undersocialized young men that don’t know how to interact with people.
Sex is good. We should be having more of it. We should encourage healthy, safe sex featuring whatever kinks you and your partner(s) consent to. Don’t fall for puritan propaganda comrades.
Porn addiction is very real
This is overwhelmingly not what the experts believe
Bro over half the men I’ve dated have erectile dysfunction in their twenties and can’t cum from anything but their own hand because they’ve nuked their pleasure centers from porn addiction. They all want to choke and have rough sex immediately and can’t get off to anything else. You can believe whatever the “experts” say but I will believe my own lying eyes
Every person who dates men I’ve spoken to has a similar experience. You might as well tell me “experts say Depression isn’t widespread”. Yeah ok dude I know what I see
Funny you should mention depression, because being unable to get off with another partner or not being able to get it up IS caused by depression, and especially anxiety.
Furthermore, if they're in their 20s, they're very likely not sexually experienced, so yeah, being naked with someone else is likely a pretty new thing, which can be anxiety-inducing.
And pretty much everyone now has at least some issue with anxiety because... gestures broadly at the world
(Choking and rough sex, though? Likely more complicated than that.)
I had this issue till I was 23 and I didn't have much access to porn at all till I was 18. I was fully able to jerk off too much just from my own imagination. The problem was probably more due to the fact I was a pillow humper than a hand guy. Once I switched the the more traditional method I could cum with partners just fine, and this was without any major change in my porn consumption habits.
I had a friend with problems like that, but he seemed a lot happier after moving to Brazil from the US. This was in Utah though and to me a lot of those folks look like clones. Might be a different issue in that case.
Personally do I think excessive porn consumption can cause developmental issues, but that's not the same as addiction.
Utah has the highest porn consumption per capita rate in the US
Overconsumption of something unhealthy that you cannot stop doing is the definition of addiction
A lot of people also just have an unhealthy relationship with sex which makes their relationship with porn also unhealthy. Navigating sex and relationships is tough. Just doing that badly enough is enough to fuck a person up. That said, if the lens of addiction helps people manage their relationship with porn better that's great!
Where is this information coming from specifically? I'm interested to learn
Here’s an article from Psychology Today not exactly a deep dive but gives a good summary
1. Porn makes a bad society
Wrong. Data shows that sexual crimes are lower in areas where there is greater access to porn.2. Porn creates objectification
Wrong. Objectification is focusing on a body part and making it an object of sexual gratification without considering the whole human being. Research in sexual fantasies shows that men and women, even those who do not watch porn, objectify. In fact, it seems that objectification is a part of sexual desire and sexual arousal. The Diet Coke advert where the male model takes his t-shirt off for the delight of women staring at him in lust is a good example of objectification that appears to be acceptable. Some people may objectify more than others but it is largely a normal human thing to do. However, when men objectify, it can be perceived as being more threatening, understandably, because of the number of men being sexually violent to women. Indeed, some men can cross the line between fun objectification and making women feel intimidated. Another interesting study shows that people watching porn focus on the porn performers’ faces rather than genitals because the most arousing part is to see the performers enjoying themselves, indicating that there is an emotional component to watching porn. Men and women have sexual fantasies on an emotional level3. Porn creates relationship problems
Wrong. Porn is the easy and convenient way to make an exit to avoid the problems in the relationship but it doesn’t create relationship problems. Other things create relationship problems, like sexual shame, high morals, contempt, anger, power struggles, low self-esteem, distorted beliefs about sex and relationships, insecurities, only to name a few.
4. Porn creates erectile dysfunction (TLDR: It’s shame and performance anxiety causing erectile dysfunction, and those men tend to turn to porn because they don’t have performance anxiety alone)
Wrong: This is a very popular view promoted by anti-porn campaigns that is fiercely inaccurate and unscientific. They even came up with an acronym to make it more believable: PIED: Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Several scientific studies have debunked that myth. In fact, being shamed for watching porn is more likely to cause erection problems than the porn itself. The science of sexology has also confirmed that porn does not cause any sexual or mental health problems. The men who have erection problems and other sexual problems often turn to porn because it is the easiest area of enjoying one’s sexuality without the anxiety of "performance," so it is more enjoyable. Demonising porn won’t fix the sexual problems, it might even make it worse. The best way to resolve sexual problems is with sex-positive psychosexual therapy.
5. Porn “porn-ifies” the brain and rewires it negatively, so the brain needs to be rebooted
Wrong. This is another popular opinion that has no basis in sciences at all. I’m going to burst your bubble again: The brain is not a computer and there is no reboot button. Instead, the brain continuously develops. Once we watch something that titillates us, it tends to stay in the brain and we tend to return to it because it is pleasurable and fun. The same process happens if we watch something that repulses us; we tend to stop watching it and we never return to it (which disproves another inaccurate view that porn habits escalate to illegal territories). The brain keeps developing with any experiences that we have. If we keep having anxiety-filled experiences having sex with someone and anxiety-free watching porn, porn will continue to be more attractive. Stopping watching porn and stopping masturbating for 90 days isn’t going to reboot your brain. In fact, it’s going to increase your sexual shame and your anxiety. And it won’t teach you how to have anxiety-free sex with partners in the way that really turns you on, which is the crux of the problem, actually.6. Watching porn leads to sexual offending and sexual violence towards women
Wrong. This is probably the most fear-mongering propaganda against porn. In fact, proper research consistently proves the opposite. Watching porn and masturbating is not pathological and does not indicate psychological problems. Several scientific research studies show that people watching porn do not have more misogynistic views towards women compared to those not watching porn. Some fascinating and surprising research even showed that men watching porn have a tendency to have more egalitarian views towards women.
7. Porn is addictive
Wrong. This is another well-known myth based on moralistic opinions rather than science. "Pornography addiction" is being consistently rejected from all medical and psychological bodies as there is no clinical evidence of addictive properties to porn. The World Health Organisation (WHO) agreed on diagnostic criteria for compulsive sexual behaviours (ICD-11), led by scientific data, and has explicitly rejected the idea of "sex addiction" and "porn addiction."