this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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the_dunk_tank
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Hot take: all apples suck, shittiest fruit good only for turning into something that makes you drunk, be that cider or mixer.
EDIT: I will happily die on this hill as long as you don't plant an apple tree on it
That downvote is from me, even if you can't see it 😡
Impressive, you managed to post a wrong opinion
I like Granny Smiths and Galas. They're like candy but not as bad for you
Their skin gets stuck in your teeth and even the juicy ones have this mealy texture underneath
Those are some of the worst but these ones are still not very crisp.
I've tried the "good" ones and they're better but even the best apple is worse than a mediocre banana
Apples are good for baking, brewing and blowing chunks.
and making an ill advised pipe
and throwing you would be surprised how hard you can throw an apple
I will fight you over this, apples are top tier fruit. Too many other fruits rely on a subtle colour change to tell you the 5 minute window when they're ripe (I'm looking at you bananas and pears)
Apples meanwhile are easy, you look at it and you know it's terrible to eat
Bah, I've lost count of the fruit I've wasted because colourblindess makes it almost impossible to pick good fruit. Apples are consistent, delicious, and by far the best choice in my situation.
Also fruits are bourgeois decadence anyway, real proletarians live off root vegetables and local forage