this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse

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we need oversight of their massive budget to stop this travesty!

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How can I be a paedophile when I'm a youth pastor driving a shady white van that has sex crossed out on the back? I'm just on my way to talk to kids about how horny I'm not.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 9 points 1 year ago

Yep, I'm going to be the least surprised person when the guy that owns the van ends up in prison.

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That's ironically the horniest thing I've ever seen. Smut busters teen team??

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

It's a prop from a tv show where the whole joke is that the guy who made it is incredibly sexually repressed.

[–] Levi@ttrpg.network 15 points 1 year ago

The righteous gemstones strike again

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Well, sounds like we need to give them more funding, jack! biden-rember

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

The splatter imagery on the logo is especially sus. volcel-judge

[–] mkultrawide@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Volcel Police have taken up action against local sex predator shop by buying out all of their merchandise in order to destroy it.

[–] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Smut Busters juice is just pee

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Not if you're brave enough.

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I refuse to believe that's anything other than projection. There's no other line that gets you to that van

[–] mkultrawide@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

It's from a very good HBO show called Righteous Gemstones about a family that runs a megachurch in the South.

[–] D61@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

comrade-stoic I will martyr myself for the volcel cause by buying all the smut.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

This Film Is Dedicated To The Brave Smut Busters Of South Carolina

[–] volcel_olive_oil@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

is this like ghostbusters, do they have sci-fi vaccuums to suck up all the porn

or do they have little handcuffs they put on your dick if you have sex

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

While no ghosts are involved, this is still a common job hazard

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

bunny-cop "I've seen things you people would not believe..."

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

They go to all the sex shops and buy out their supply

No but they have vacuums to contain all the vital fluids

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

I bet their Hell House for Halloween is the bomb.

Can I use "the bomb" or does that verge on fedposting?

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

I will continue being skeptical of the morals of anyone that uses the word "teen" in their branding.

[–] Waldoz53@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

is that the smutbusters van from righteous gemstones lmao

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

My brother was an officer of the Volcel force, died inaction. Not all cops are bad. RIP

[–] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Offspring, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, @culpritus@hexbear.net ? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the BRICS chicks, and you curse the Volcel police. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that their and people like theirs death, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall.

We use words like "honor," "code," "loyalty." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a hexbear who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand the post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!

speech-side-r-2 top-cop

[–] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police