this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2023
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https://twitter.com/juutsid/status/1720518455458214044

tl;dr: millennials are afraid of failure.

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[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 69 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I wouldn't even put it on poverty, because large population booms have happened under impoverished conditions elsewhere without issue.

But there's a huge social taboo against pregnancy at virtually any age. Children are treated like luxuries. They're enormously expensive to have and to raise, and everything about childhood is commodified to shit. Add to that how people are all terrified of one another. Men are told to put their prospective spouses on a pedestal, so they've all got to be supermodels with PhDs and rich parents. Women are inundated with the grossest men imaginable in dating markets that reward you for being an annoying creep. Everyone is told to hate one another constantly by a media apparatus that profits off your alienation.

We also seem to absolutely hate kids, in this modern moment. They're constantly presented as violent, parasitic, gross, vulgar monsters.

So much of this is just mass media bombarding us with bad advice and bigoted worldviews. How is anyone supposed to procreate under these conditions?

[–] Hatandwatch@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wonder what the correlation is to those previous booms vs now when medical bills for child delivery(like all medical bills) are higher than ever? I've done no research but I'm pretty sure it's more expensive than ever just creating a kid. (USA based observation)

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[–] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 62 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ngl I think it’s selfish and cruel to the child to have a child in the current world. Why the fuck would I have a kid as I’m facing down a planet that may not be inhabitable in 10-20 years, in a dying empire that limps closer to collapse every day. Where they’ll grow up in fear of getting shot or permanently disabled by covid just to go to school.

And that’s if I could afford to take care of kids in the first place, when I can barely afford to give myself a decent standard of living.

In order to convince me to have a child I’d need the following: Free child care, free healthcare, triple my current wage, a house in a walkable area because kids can’t drive and thus shouldn’t be in car dominated areas, gun control, a better education system, and Climate Stalin.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Strongly influential on Geoff & Wainwright's Climate Mao, presumably.

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I saw an interview with one of the authors once. Very informative.

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[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 61 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fewer people are pairing off as couples, too. Nobody has time for a social life when they're juggling multiple jobs, there's no Third Places, all the social media and dating apps suck, people are more alienated from one another than ever, and to top it off absolutely everything is getting ridiculously expensive. If people don't have a person to fuck and a place to fuck and the energy to fuck they're not gonna fuck, and that's step one of having kids.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

The other factor here is that the main popular entertainment within the imperial core countries is television and videogames which are distinctly antisocial entertainment forms that do not offer opportunities for bonding. These aren't non-existent elsewhere but they're less dominant.

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 61 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Feels like "Most people are poor as shit" is a pretty good indicator. No need to write a whole article about it.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 49 points 1 year ago

And, unlike any other point in history I'm aware of, we have contraceptives so we can keep fucking without having babies.

[–] pillow@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (5 children)

outside of famine/war conditions, birth rates have historically been (much) higher among people (much) poorer than most americans. I think the difference is more that social support structures are weak, "standard of living" expectations are high, education is both expensive and necessary, and contraception/abortion are widely available and relatively destigmatized

[–] TreadOnMe@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

People are poor but if you are poor and have kids there is a huge stigma attached to it if you were raised middle and upper middle class.

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[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

The birthrate is only about 15% lower than in 1975, and 90% of the US population is in a state of financial crisis as severe as the Depression. People should be celebrating that it isn't cratering that hard.

[–] chauncey@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

"America is a third world country, and people don't recognise it... and I think that that's pretty god damn sad, that they don't recognise their own country as a third world, third rate, third class slum."

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[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 51 points 1 year ago

I have a better answer:

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have a theory that millennials are the first generation to realize how their own parents fucked them up. Before, children would look to their parents to learn what to do. Now they do the opposite.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

Phillip Larkin wrote this in 1971, so the sentiment isn't quite new. The amount of despair in the air, and the "luxury" of being able to express it and you know... Disengage is newer though

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm sure individual people had the idea for a long time but I don't think it was ever a popular idea among an entire generation.

In part this might be because millennials are the most educated generation in history - that has consequences.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You might be right, the fact that your folks screwed you up is much more common nowadays, or at least more mature. I think it also has to do with the system being literally unable to keep it's barest promises. Even when there was hardship before, people who did "everything right" to live comfortably and happily, and have nothing to show for it but misery and despair, haven't been the majority in the history of capitalism I think.

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[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

Before, children would look to their parents to learn what to do.

Oh come on. There's a stack of classic literature a mile high disputing this claim. If anything, the 70s/80s/90s was a renaissance in exploration of the ideas of Good Parenting. But like so much else in our neoliberal hellscape, the idea of a quality childhood was commodified on one end and problematized on the other. The 80s-era parents were constantly bombarded by paranoid "They're sticking razor blades in your kids' candy and stealing children off the streets for satanic rituals!" headlines. They were solid a thousand different panaceas for Genius Children. They were told to hate their own parents, to hate where the parents lived, to hate teachers, to hate "bad influence" of other kids...

Like, on the one hand, its cool that we got a bunch of focus on nutrition and discouraged people from straight up beating your kids to win obedience. But on the other, holy fuck was the discourse toxic.

This generation is just getting a repeat of the shit fed to the last generation. The "don't trust anyone over 30" line is being recycled by the Millennial media hustlers and to the same effect. If you aren't learning anything from your parents this time around, you're falling into the same trap laid by the Boomer era media hacks.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Breeding fetishists like my-hero want to do anything and everything but actually improve the material conditions of the poors.

[–] YourFavoriteFed@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's like that simpsons thing.

They want higher birth rates....AND eugenics?

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More clones of le epic based apartheid princes and less of the undesirables. us-foreign-policy

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If this results in a world where apartheid princes have to work the mines and fast food counters, I may have to very hesitantly give my critical support

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[–] ThereRisesARedStar@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm coming to the realization that I would have kids if I could give them a good life. But I can't, and my household is like, actually upper middle class. It is obscene that with how much money we make we can't even use that money to have a kid and give them a good life.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago

It's true I am afraid that I would fail to provide my children with an acceptable standard of living on a dying planet thanks mom and dad.

[–] MisterCreamyShits@lemm.ee 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It’s because they killed the middle class. We can’t afford children. The single most effective way I can kill the ruling class is to not give them a future worker to consume. Get fucked billionaires!!

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 56 points 1 year ago

The single most effective way any of us can kill the ruling class is stalin-gun-1solidaritythe-doohickey

[–] StellarTabi@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

also adoption is cool

[–] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think that my SO and I would make fantastic parents and we almost certainly have the support system and financial means to have kids. My hang up is, what do you tell your kids in 20 years when living conditions are much worse than they are now and they realize that you must have known the trajectory society was on when you made the decision to have them? How do you explain your choice to bring a new human into a world full of increasing suffering and injustice?

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's always adoption - all the benefits of being a parent and you can easily deflect the blame when they ask you why their spark of consciousness was conjured into this empty and entropic universe.

[–] RedQuestionAsker2@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

Child: Dad, I'm going through a really hard time. I don't have any hope for the future, and I see society falling apart around me. How could anyone create me knowing that this is what life is like?

Dad: I guess this is a good time to tell you that you're adopted

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[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Having one child is so expensive. I often look at families having 2+ and always wonder WTF they do to make it work. The answer is always more money and parents/extended family that they can rely on.

For now I just have to hope I don't have many expensive things happen until my kid can enroll in Kindergarten. this-is-fine

Anyoje I know that isn't visibly struggling and working themselves to death to just keep a rental makes close to 6 figures.

[–] copandballtorture@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago

I told my extended family that they'd get a grandkid if Bernie won in 2016 or 2020. They made their choice, so did I.

[–] wahwahwah@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They know, they're just choosing to be coy. Someone's gotta maintain the transparent veneer of normalcy and decorum in this hellhole.

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

this these articles are for people who are already out of touch and to help them feel good about it.

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Okay I've had a think on it and my serious answer is this: We can argue that the world has always been full of exploitation and suffering and pain and that there have been dark times when it seemed like the eschaton was truly at hand (there were people who saw the black plague and still had kids). There's two explanations for why:

  1. People still wanted to fuck despite birth control being unreliable or unavailable.
  2. Kids were an economic necessity - you needed the extra hands to make a farm productive, and the social expectation was that your kids would take care of you when you were old. It was a standard part of the retirement plan.

Re: 1: Now we have free porn and consequence free sex
Re: 2: Now we have 401k's and - pfft, who am I kidding, no millennial thinks they're going to be able to retire and the atomization of society means we're currently relegating our own parents to nursing homes and who wants that? If I'm still alive when I'm 80 I'm going to wander out in the woods and take mind-dissolving quantities of hallucinogens until I get to go face-to-whatever with the eternal Dao and ask it what the hell it was thinking.

tl;dr - having kids used to be unavoidable or necessary for your own survival, and now they're not

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[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The imperial core continues to lose its grasp on the planet so we in said imperial core unilaterally decided that future generations are a waste of time.

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[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

yeah uh performance anxiety. couldn't be that the modern life is filled with shit and people are choosing not to force someone else to live here and people who barely have enough to support themselves deciding they can't afford the responsibility/burden

[–] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

i don't want to take care of a cat wtf do i want a kid for?

[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

i'm not having kids because i don't want kids. hope this helps

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[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Mine wasn't planned but we're trying as hard as possible to break the cycles of trauma we inherited from our families.

Also we're insanely privileged to have helpful family. We'd have been fucked a couple times already without a helping hang

[–] Blottergrass@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

The schools here suck and I can't afford residence in the good school district.

[–] Orannis62@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

I mean I'm infertile now so shrug-outta-hecks

But more seriously I have a masters degree and I'm still barely keeping my head above water. Like I legit don't think I could even take care of a pet rn

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