this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
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chapotraphouse

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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by Egon@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 108 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I've never been a fan of gang bangs and orgies, maybe my problem was that I was trying out for the wrong role, I should've auditioned for clipboard guy.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 84 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (8 children)

I'm just trying to wrap my head around the 15 people who got all the way through this process and didn't cum.

If I have to take a blood test to hook up, I'm cumming one way or another. I'm going out back and jerking off into the bushes if necessary.

Edit: I just looked up this Aella person

Aella: The Libertarian Rationalist Sex Worker Turned Data Scientist

I think I get it now. They didn't cum because they were prepubescent

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 63 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It could even just be performance anxiety. Maybe clipboard guy was just staring at them really intensely the whole time. Sometimes I have to just stop for a bit if the cat walks in the room and stares at me, so I could get people being a little nervous.

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[–] Egon@hexbear.net 61 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They apparently only got three minutes each so that explains it I guess. She explains it in her blog post that starts out by quoting Nelson Mandela

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 66 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They apparently only got three minutes each

Listen, I don't want to brag, but I can bust way faster than that.

She explains it in her blog post that starts out by quoting Nelson Mandela

visible-disgust

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[–] EndMilkInCrisps@hexbear.net 48 points 8 months ago

Performance anxiety is real. Sometimes you just can't orgasm. Especially in a crowd.

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[–] Egon@hexbear.net 102 points 8 months ago (6 children)
[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 62 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (13 children)

Begging my fellow men to have some standards Jesus Christ.

1600 people wanted to have sex with someone who hasn't showed in a month and averages one shower every 11 days? Fucking hell.

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 39 points 8 months ago

I have bad news about how often those men probably shower.

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[–] WafflesTasteGood@hexbear.net 42 points 8 months ago

Holy shit. I can't figure out which would be worse; her not showering days before the gangbang or days after it.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 42 points 8 months ago

I KNEW I REMEMBERED THAT TWITTER HANDLE FROM SOMETHING xi

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[–] davel@hexbear.net 98 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

The Ones Who Walked Away From Aella

[–] JohannaChittarra@hexbear.net 38 points 8 months ago

obama-medal fucking bravo, it’s been a while since a comment made me cackle like this.

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[–] dead@hexbear.net 64 points 8 months ago (4 children)

This is a porn advertisement. Aella is a OnlyFans model. The numbers probably aren't even real. This chart was just made to advertise her OnlyFans. You posted a porn ad.

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 53 points 8 months ago

I posted something that was funny, reality is a distant second notion to me

[–] disco@hexbear.net 40 points 8 months ago (2 children)

The numbers probably are real, she wrote a massive essay about it on her substack that I can't read because I will not be giving this demon any money.

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[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 39 points 8 months ago

I'm going to leave it up just because the thread is so funny.

[–] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 25 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Nah, this is a trip report about her sex work. We support sex workers usually. Especially if their job is to take money from tech bros.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 61 points 8 months ago

And people say romance is dead.

[–] milistanaccount09@hexbear.net 59 points 8 months ago (1 children)

this is immensly hilarious but you should tag it nsfw

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 47 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

but what if I want to get you in trouble at work?

[–] milistanaccount09@hexbear.net 50 points 8 months ago

smh im a communist, you think i'm employed?

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 50 points 8 months ago (16 children)

Shinigami eyes flags the account red. Who even is this person

[–] WashedAnus@hexbear.net 63 points 8 months ago (3 children)

reddit-logo-famous sex worker, took some goofy gnome pics like a decade ago, posted about doing acid, is part of the Effective Altruist cult

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 38 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (4 children)

Effective Altruism

It's like they correctly realized capitalism is a death cult and propagating global suffering, but instead of seeing if anyone else has ever worked out alternatives before them (marx) they came up with the brilliant idea to...pick the right careers and make donations? Without any actual material analysis of why things around the world are the way they are. Also apparently they have an algorithm that they say can predict world events or something.

What an amazing prediction, no one else could have possibly seen that one coming, I'm sure.

Apparently a bunch of techbros like Sam Bankman-Fried were heavily involved so that's how you know it's a joke ideology.

[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 33 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

pick the right careers and make donations

On first blush, there's a certain amount of logic to this, but then the EA people all "realized that AI is the most dangerous thing ever" and started giving all of their money to each other's AI startups, so whatever it started as it ended up being a techbro grift.

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[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 49 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

oh to be an orgy cum stenographer

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[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 45 points 8 months ago (1 children)

17 came in Aella

20 either came in a fluffer or didn't cum at all

another 19 signed up, interviewed, got tickets, and did not show or did not do the whole purpose of the event

This girl got ratio'd by a fluffer

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 24 points 8 months ago (5 children)

I glanced through the article she posted. She had 5 fluffers and additional people holding her down (she has a non consensual kink). I think overall the ratio of participants in the orgy and "staff" at the orgy were 1:1.

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[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 41 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Good for her. I prefer to celebrate my birthday by ignoring it, but we all got our ways.

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 36 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Oh yeah, lots of people on twitter are freaking out about it like it's morally reprehensible and I don't really understand that. I just think it's funny that she's a datafreak about her gangbang and the way she shared the data/story is kind of strange and funny.

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[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 40 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Tfw your sex life looks like a disastrous invasion of Russia.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 36 points 8 months ago (1 children)

:blinking-guy-gif:

His name is Drew Scanlon and IIRC he had a decent take on the DPRK for a lib.

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[–] bubbalu@hexbear.net 32 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Alas she is very pro-"israel"

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 29 points 8 months ago (1 children)

wait what the person who posted this banger tweet would be zionist?

imagine my shock

(cw ableism)

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[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 32 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The blog post she wrote about it also opens with a Nelson Mandela quote.

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 28 points 8 months ago

Listen here number cruncherkiryu-slam

[–] CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 8 months ago (2 children)
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[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 26 points 8 months ago

Aella posts are a class 1 cognitohazard memetic-kill-agent

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 26 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Never thought I'd say the sentence "Well there's a Sankey chart I'll never be able to unsee," but here I am saying it because this is hell and and of course we have libertarian sexworker data scientists and really sad Johns doing really sad exit interviews.

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This person feels like some GTA side character who gets brought back in the sequels because she's a fan favourite or something. Ngl her continued posting is very funny

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