This is actually not too bad of an idea really, but the downside is homes and all the stuff in it are actually more flammable than previous generations, so if you’re most likely better off just trying to get out of the house all together than do this.

[-] abc@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago

"Quickly, quickly now!" I shout, pushing my girlfriend into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me.

"Dan, are we...are we gonna die?"

"Melissa, babe, no...we're not gonna die." I shout over the sound of debris falling into the fire outside. Bending behind the toilet, I grab the bath mouthpiece and fish it

alright i started typing this with the intention to end it with a bunch of firefighters finding our charred corpses around the toilet with the bath mouthpiece and going "wow that's stupid as shit there was a window right there" but my adhd said otherwise.

[-] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

I like your ending

[-] EnsignRedshirt@hexbear.net 29 points 5 months ago

This is a fetish thing for sure.

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 35 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

nooo it's for emergencies in homes or hotels

why would you bring it to a hotel?

IT'S FOR EMERGENCIES YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY'LL HAPPEN

then why not like uhhh mention literally anywhere else that has a bathroom?

IT'S FOR EMERGENCIES wojak-nooo

[-] trabpukcip@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago

I'll take burning to death, please and thank you

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

The worst part is you could still possibly burn to death but also get to enjoy breathing shit during your final painful moments.

[-] Alisu@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

You mean suffocation from smoke right? Because the fire will still get you anyways

[-] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 5 months ago

Wouldn't that stinky air taste like shit?

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 41 points 5 months ago

what? you too good to breathe the shit air in an emergency?

[-] quarrk@hexbear.net 34 points 5 months ago

The only thing worse than dying in a house fire is doing that while injecting sewer fumes directly into my lungs

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

fair. at least now i know what i wanna do for my fallout-esque skeleton gag once all the bombs go off.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

Those gags were the best part of the Bethesda fallout games. I know it made no sense for skeletons to still be around 200 years later but I loved finding one of my skele bros doing some wild gag pose and imagining what was going on in that moment. In a game with terrible storytelling you take what you can get.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

At least you'll burn up that much faster once your lungs are filled with methane. Going out with a bang, as it were.

[-] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 5 months ago

When the firefighters find your unburned corpse.

"He could have just left. "

"Right? He didn't have to do that."

[-] ProfessorAdonisCnut@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

You could at least use the u-bend in a sink rather than a toilet. Sure it's still sewer gas on the other side, but at least it's not a toilet... kneeling over a toilet is a position I'm in while vomiting and at no other time.