this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2022
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chapotraphouse

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[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

Let him die :gigachad-hd:

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Literally just jerk off

No clue how this became such a big taboo in Abrahamic religion, you crank one out and get back to work, easy peasy

[–] MiraculousMM@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

On the Christian side, Paul and Augustine are largely responsible tbh. Dudes were so ashamed of their horniness that they (namely Augustine) wrote extensively about how it's ontologically evil to wanna eat ass all across town lmao

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

Notably Augustine spent most of his adult life bouncing around sex cults before deciding that actually sex was bad and abandoning his mistress and illegitimate child to die on the street.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

the Cumtown version of the Confessions of St. Augustine was better anyway

[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Confessions of St. Augustine , chapter 14: San Francisco

[–] BatCountryMusicFan@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

No clue how this became such a big taboo in Abrahamic religion,

Iirc it's about not "wasting" life essence.

Genesis 38:9-10: But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.

It's that Monty Python Every Sperm is Sacred song, but unironically

[–] CantaloupeAss@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

One could presume that in an agrarian/pastoralist society in a semi-arid region, high birth rates were socially desirable to constantly add laboring hands to the fields and flocks

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The social obligation to marry a deceased brothers widow is relatively universal in old cultures, Judaism not withstanding. It's one of the oldest patriarchal economic developments, to ensure that a widow is cared for. The child produced is almost always considered to be the blood of the dead brother. The modern reading of the Onan passage as against rubbing one out is incorrect. The christian war against jerking off is I think I relatively modern, reactionary invention.

[–] Dimmer06@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

John Kellogg invented it in 1933 to sell corn flakes to Nazis who wanted to preserve their vital essences or something like that.

[–] CantaloupeAss@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

Very interesting, I never knew!

Tell me more though about how the war against jerking it is reactionary:volcel-judge: :volcel-kamala:

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Also to replace the people who died because they did that a lot

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

Yup. And probably something about making sure the wife has kids to take care of her in her old age because otherwise she'd just starve to death or something.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Nah, the Onan crime thing is about Levantine Marriage. Basically if your brother dies you're supposed to marry his wife and have kids, and legally those kids are your brothers kids so his bloodline keeps going. It's a really important cultural thing. Onan's crime as that he was banging his brother's wife without knocking her up, so he was basically committing a crime against his brother and his family that was really serious in the culture of the time. Had nothing to do with masturbating.

Basicalyl Onan was being a shit because he didn't want to take on teh burden of raising his brothers kids. Seriously, has absolutely nothing what so ever to do with masturbating or pulling out or anything else.

[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

it was pretty obviously the fact he was disrespecting the rights of his new wife that they held. tbh I consider that a weird right but the issue was the fact that he was treating her without the albeit deeply weird rights she was due by custom

[–] NPa@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And God said: Cum in your brother's wife or be put to death. No I'm not being weird, you're being weird.

[–] BolsheWitch@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

BE NOT AFRAID - I’m just here to watch.

:angel-biblical::speech-l:

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago
[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

dead brother's wife if he was still alive it would be disrespectful

the material conditions of the bronze age caused a society that to us is weird

mainly I was correcting the idea that it's sinful to masturbate and pointing out that the sin there was disrespecting women (again in the weirdest possible way)

[–] NPa@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

what if it is impossible to determine if one's brother is dead or alive, perhaps he is suspended in a chamber filled with a flammable gas that is either ignited or not based off the decay of an unstable isotope. I'm gonna need to see the relevant scripture fast, I'm about to bust and I don't want to go to Hell

[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

then don't have sex with your brothers wife until you're sure he's dead

and before you ask don't kill him

[–] NPa@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

then don’t have sex with your brothers wife until you’re sure he’s dead

alright that should be easy

and before you ask don’t kill him

oh

oh no

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

Go ask a Rabbi I'm sure it's in the Talmud somewhere.

[–] NPa@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

I mean the guy was literally named after the act of masturbation, a sort of ancient precursor to a Coomer, I think we can agree he was an edge-case. :putin-wink: :

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

If God existed, it would be necessary to abolish him

[–] ShmoneyShmillions@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

Sages be like: Get over it

[–] BolsheWitch@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

laughing my ass off at how the annoying escalation tactics sex pests have still holds up even now.

“oh you said no to sex? what if you just got naked? no you won’t get naked? what if you just-”

:stalin-gun-1::meow-anarchist:

[–] MiraculousMM@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Where's my hug?" :cringe:

[–] BolsheWitch@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

:stalin-gun-1::visible-disgust:

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

:ThenPerish:

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

now this is some religious doctrine i can get behind :anarchista-chad:

[–] Antoine_St_Hexubeary@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago (2 children)

So does the Talmud contain discourse on every possible ethical conundrum?

What does it say about fudging the building code a little when you're renovating a basement?

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

Yes.

Yes it does.

It's like 1800 years of Rabbis arguing with each other about every fucking thing you could imagine and a surprising number of things you never thought of. These guys have sat down and hashed out moral conundrums you would never dream up in your wildest imaginings.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The Sages say Let it be so, only know one's limits and always Remember that all things leak

[Stares at inert pile of baseboard trim sitting in middle of garage, 8ft from the nearest plumbing, on a dry day]

[It begins leaking]

What in the goddamn

[–] HoChiMaxh@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is great - anyone have the og link? I'd love to share this

[–] TheDeed@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

https://www.sefaria.org/Sanhedrin.75a.2

Edit: im not very studied in talmud at all but this reads to me less of dude being an incel and more about laws on who you can and can't have sex with as laid out in the Torah.

Still funny though

[–] GreenTeaRedFlag@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I love the idea of being so horny that you die. Like, I had days when I was younger I could think of nothing but tits but I never fell ill from it.

[–] edge@hexbear.net 1 points 7 months ago

I’m pretty sure it’s more like depression that someone they are in love with doesn’t love them back.