— "And what's in that container over there? The brown one with a few too many edges."

— "Why that "container", detective, is my Tesla Cybertruck, of course! I suppose you don't see cars of this caliber around these parts very often? Just the other day I wrapped this beauty in Mirror Rose Gold and put matching 30 inch dual tone wheels on it, just as a little personal touch. Do you like it?"

— The car's design is aggressively flawed, an affront not only to the eyes but also the art of engineering. The multitude of sharp edges around the vehicle's body and the inflexibility of the chosen materials are several disasters waiting to happen to anyone wealthy and foolish enough to get inside of one. Also, needless to say, its sheer hideousness cannot be overstated.

— It's an idiot's idea of the car of the future.

— "Well, it's certainly a... unique design."

— Ask for the keys.

— The keys? I don't want to drive this thing. It looks kinda dangerous.

— But look at that coating. That fresh, radiant, glamorous Mirror Rose Gold coating. Do you not feel its seductive pull? Do you not hear its siren song? It yearns for us. It's begging for us to do what must be done. Just imagine the thousands upon thousands of Reál that were spent to apply these colors. Now imagine the satisfying scratching noise as you slowly tear through it like a hot knife through butter. Imagine the glee of unearthing the stainless steel underneath the paint. Imagine the possibilities.

[Savoir Faire: Medium] Ask for the keys for the Mega Rich Light-Bending Guy's Cybertruck.

— "Mind handing me the keys for this bad boy for a moment, mister?"

— "Oho, do I see love at first sight? Wanna take her for a ride, detective?"

[Drama: Success] — "Yeah."

Mirror rose gold so you can see the emptiness in your own eyes every time you approach the altar of worship. It’s the ark of the treat covenant.

this one neat trick cybertruck owners DON'T want you to know about

At least it won’t rust

I'm pretty sure I saw one of these shitboxes with a car cover over it outside a local apartment building recently.

I guess its an improvement?

When I was a lot younger I used to joke that Teslas were iPhones on wheels... The joke now sells itself

I'd like to have no thoughts about his ever again

You're gonna have to me for this but when they're wrapped i kind of like the look. The bare stainless just looks like shit but a camo wrap or something, idk, it shifts my perceptions. Someone should make a real car with an angular low-rez aesthetic.

Wasn't this car a secret unlockable in Stunt Race FX?

Actually looks pretty cool in that color, except for the ugly ass wheels.

Shame it's still a poorly constructed death trap, twice the weight and four times the price any truck needs to be, primarily marketed as a dick wagging extension for the most obnoxious people around.

@DiscoPosting@hexbear.net

https://xkcd.com/81/

At first I thought it was a copper wrap and I thought it was kind of fun to make it look like a weaker and cheaper metal, but no. Much worse.

Seems dangerous. Doesn't this make it easier for someone to run into you?