mega-rich-light-bending-guy — "Why that "container", detective, is my Tesla Cybertruck, of course! I suppose you don't see cars of this caliber around these parts very often? Just the other day I wrapped this beauty in Mirror Rose Gold and put matching 30 inch dual tone wheels on it, just as a little personal touch. Do you like it?"

de-perception — The car's design is aggressively flawed, an affront not only to the eyes but also the art of engineering. The multitude of sharp edges around the vehicle's body and the inflexibility of the chosen materials are several disasters waiting to happen to anyone wealthy and foolish enough to get inside of one. Also, needless to say, its sheer hideousness cannot be overstated.

de-conceptualization — It's an idiot's idea of the car of the future.

dubois-depressed — "Well, it's certainly a... unique design."

de-volition — Ask for the keys.

dubois-depressed — The keys? I don't want to drive this thing. It looks kinda dangerous.

de-inland-empire — But look at that coating. That fresh, radiant, glamorous Mirror Rose Gold coating. Do you not feel its seductive pull? Do you not hear its siren song? It yearns for us. It's begging for us to do what must be done. Just imagine the thousands upon thousands of Reál that were spent to apply these colors. Now imagine the satisfying scratching noise as you slowly tear through it like a hot knife through butter. Imagine the glee of unearthing the stainless steel underneath the paint. Imagine the possibilities.

[Savoir Faire: Medium] Ask for the keys for the Mega Rich Light-Bending Guy's Cybertruck.

de-dice-5

lt-dbyf-dubois — "Mind handing me the keys for this bad boy for a moment, mister?"

mega-rich-light-bending-guy — "Oho, do I see love at first sight? Wanna take her for a ride, detective?"

lt-dbyf-dubois [Drama: Success] — "Yeah."

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago

order-of-lenin

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 44 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Mirror rose gold so you can see the emptiness in your own eyes every time you approach the altar of worship. It’s the ark of the treat covenant.

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You might as well have a rose-tinted reflection of yourself.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

but can it also change the smell of your shit?

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 32 points 5 months ago

bird-screm-2 breadpill

this one neat trick cybertruck owners DON'T want you to know about

[–] SaniFlush@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

At least it won’t rust

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 52 points 5 months ago (1 children)

unless water gets trapped under the wrap and then it'll rust spectacularly

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago

To that end, how the fuck do they screw up stainless steel so that it rusts?

[–] Chronicon@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure I saw one of these shitboxes with a car cover over it outside a local apartment building recently.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Landlord no doubt

[–] Chronicon@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

idk there's a certain kind of elon simp that I could see spending half their paycheck on the payments on one of these every month. But you're probably right. Just hard to imagine a landlord storing their cybertruck outside facing the street, not in a garage.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

Spending a down payment of a house on a bazinga mobile while continuing to rent would be sad on a whole new level

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

I saw a thread Thursday night from a person who works 60-70 hours a week, and normally buys 20+ year old cars talking about theirs, so yeah there definitely is.

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I guess its an improvement?

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

Couldn’t make it any worse …

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

When I was a lot younger I used to joke that Teslas were iPhones on wheels... The joke now sells itself

[–] Yor@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

I'd like to have no thoughts about his ever again

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You're gonna have to gulag me for this but when they're wrapped i kind of like the look. The bare stainless just looks like shit but a camo wrap or something, idk, it shifts my perceptions. Someone should make a real car with an angular low-rez aesthetic.

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Brave for telling the truth

It's fucking hilarious they were unable to see that very easy fix for the vehicle and people would be less able to talk shit on it

[–] Taster_Of_Treats@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I still dislike it for the fact that it doesn't even try to absorb impacts and instead is as rigid as possible. The drivers are at risk in crashes but more importantly, any pedestrian, commuter, or other driver is at grave risk in an accident.

It's a car for people who don't care about the well-being of others.

The visual design is not even a little bit why I dislike the cyber truck.

[–] Taster_Of_Treats@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I hate Cadillacs for similar reasons btw. Same design principal. Although they actually protect the occupants a decent amount.

[–] ProletarianDictator@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

This is exactly it. I lowkey fuck with the aesthetic, but its just an overpriced death trap for the least empathetic car brained douchebags.

[–] ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website 4 points 5 months ago

It's like putting decent textures on a PS2 model

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Wasn't this car a secret unlockable in Stunt Race FX?

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

Fitting, since it handles being exposed to water about as well as a Stunt Race FX cartridge

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Actually looks pretty cool in that color, except for the ugly ass wheels.

Shame it's still a poorly constructed death trap, twice the weight and four times the price any truck needs to be, primarily marketed as a dick wagging extension for the most obnoxious people around.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

Yeah, i could fuck with something vaguely like this, like a more angular version of the smooth future pod cars in 90s sci fi, if it was a real car.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

@DiscoPosting@hexbear.net

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

https://xkcd.com/81/

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

At first I thought it was a copper wrap and I thought it was kind of fun to make it look like a weaker and cheaper metal, but no. Much worse.

[–] hex_work@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Seems dangerous. Doesn't this make it easier for someone to run into you?

[–] Xx_Aru_xX@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

wrong reason, chrome wraps reflect a lot of sunlight and can blind other drivers

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

Yeah I immediately was curious if it's even legal lol. It seems like a huge liability for whoever put it on in any case

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

It makes me want to bin it into them at high speeds, yeah