Real men only drink the meat juice they spoon out of the bottom of the pack of raw hamburger because they think it's blood.
Real men are also 32% intestinal parasite by volume, as nature intended.
this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
228 points (100.0% liked)
chapotraphouse
13539 readers
928 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Grabbing a pound of ground beef from a mildewy 7-Eleven refrigerator and sucking it out of a Big Slurpee cup through a straw.
Myoglobin
Ouroglobin
This was like 20 years ago but my manager once asked me if I was gay because I had a cat.
Me, but because I garden.
She said she had never heard of a straight man having a cat.
Damn. I couldn't push back on that one cause I'm basically pansexual.
Real alpha males can have a little citric acid, as a treat
Isn't having your wife bring you a glass of lemonade after you mow the lawn a classic RETVRN fantasy?
I was writing an essay about the difference between Andrew Tate, female dating strategy, and the RETVRN types, but I started to think about how all of them have a bunch of prescriptions for what men consoom, how they emote, and how they engage with society. I think the difference in opinion on what men consoom is negligible between the different subfactions.
I don't think a leftist movement has a good alternative to offer a disaffected politically agnostic young man who wants a relationship besides the opportunity to cleanly disengage with people who are demanding they stop drinking lemonade, but you didn't really ask that. Perhaps in that case, when a RETVRN type is trying to tell men that in their utopia women will step back in line and be obedient, it's just important to always be ready to tell people that fascism has always been obsessed with aesthetics and it never sits flush with reality so while we don't have a good answer, it's better than an actively harmful answer that brings you further from what you want.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Hot babe comes out with a pitcher of lemonade while I'm wiping the sweat off my brow from mowing the lawn: No thanks "sweetheart" lemonade is for WOMEN.
Lemonade is the most socialist sweet drink
I don't need to explain
Leninade. 
Oh great! What am I supposed to make with all these lemons life is giving me?!
Rub em' in the wounds of your enemies! Raaaaaaaaah!!!! 
How could I forget Cave Johnson and his excellent lemon advice!
Somehow at work, lemon in various form has made it's way all over the menu and so I've genuinely got some solutions to your joke problem! Zest it and nix the zest with a bunch of salt and sugar, mix regularly while drying and you got like a sweet lemony salt thats good sprinkled on lots of stuff, slice the peels up thin and long and simmer them in oil and you got lemon conditioner, and the lemon oil can be used to make a solid lemon aioli, you can make a pretty dope dressing with 1/3 lemon juice 2/3 olive oil and a bunch of salt and pepper mixed up, and you can just eat a lemon.
load more comments
(1 replies)
please somebody tell me what list of approved manly drinks is
1.) BEER
2.) Whisky
3.) Liquid death
4.) Raw milk
5.) Room temperature water
Fuck that water shit. REAL men drink mountain dewwwwwwwwwwww
4.) Raw milk
what, like a baby cow?
No, from your tradwife duh
oh god fuck you now i remembered the breast milk ice cream dude :data-laugh:
As a man, you should only drink whiskey, never whisky which is a liquor for effeminate peoples (scots etc)
Oh no, in Colombia we only have kilt-wearing girl whisky 
is rum manly? we have rum
pirates drank rum
Pirates were gay as fuck
oh shit oh damn :ohnoes:
load more comments
(1 replies)
- The juice from RAW chicken because REAL MEN aren't afraid of bird flu
Yes, I'm a man. That means I drain my styrofoam tray of raw chicken into a glass and add some spritz for a manly sparkling myoglobin.
Now why would a man want a sparkling drink?
You know what else sparkles? Glitter. No real man would be caught dead in the same room as glitter.
I'm literally drinking lemonade right now and I STILL have a penis
I just finished drinking lemonade and I lost mine. Taking this highly scientific study into consideration, people have a 50% chance to lose their penis if they drink lemonade.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I STILL have a penis
what are you gay???
load more comments
(3 replies)
when life gives you lemons, take a shot of whiskey like a REAL MAN
Honestly trying American lemonade and American tea for the first time was an experience. Why is there so much sugar (or I guess high fructose corn syrup) in this drink?
Depends on who is making it. Everything store bought will be super sweet. I make my lemonade sour
It was an immigrant from Chicago, but she said she preferred "southern style" whatever that means. Pulled out iced tea with like a week's worth of my regular sugar intake in the pitcher.
Southern tea is absurdly sweet, it's more normal in other places. I did think lemonade was sugary everywhere tho.
load more comments
(1 replies)
sugar (or I guess high fructose corn syrup)
IT ALL TASTES LIKE METAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thank god we don't have this problem in the UK
a warrior's drink
I miss working at a place that was also a juice bar, I figured out an amazing recipe for close enough to lemonade. Lemons mostly, a couple basil leaves and a bit of carrot juiced. Pour it over shaved ice. Best cooking in a hot kitchen drink ever if they also throw in some vodka
why are you …
Because it’s delicious thats why. Imagine having such a fragile grip on being a man, whatver the fuck that even means, that you are bothered by a man drinking lemonade.
view more: next ›