Hmmmmmm I'm soooo eepysleepy today~ (I was kept up till 7am by chronic pain but still woke up before noon)
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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I lifted am on drugs today so tbh why not. Long may it continue...
Ash getting zooted on creatine. I'm here for it. (For anyone watching don't overdo creatine, pretty sure it can damage your kidneys or liver)
I lifted today as well Mostly because exercising makes literally everything else in life a little less difficult. I lose all ability to focus on anything when I don't exercise regularly
Really? Dang, which part of lifting makes focusing easier?
I think it's a combination of a couple different things. For once my body gets really restless if I'm sedentary, which makes it hard to sit down and focus on stuff. And the other reason is that lifting helps me sleep and eat a ton better.
I usually have super low appetite (maybe because i got so used to ignoring my hunger cues when i was depressed idk), but lifting makes me feel hunger "normally" and crave actual meals, which helps my brain work the way it should
my body gets really restless if I'm sedentary, which makes it hard to sit down and focus on stuff
Is this why I've been unable to read since I got fired... Oh no... I know about improving appetite though, that shit rules, fuck yeah.
Maybe, that's how it works for me at least (unfair that I need to be physically active to nerd out properly tbh), but if that's the case for you it should get easier soon now that you're working out again
Nerd oppression by your own body!! I hope it should, but also my body is a fuckin shambles and ten reps per arm obliterates me. I have an extremely long way to go, if it's even physically possible for me to be in good shape anymore.
today I just want to lay in bed and listen to music, but I have to work π
vile transphobia
it really is smdh why can't we all just live in a temple complex in Sumeria somewhere? we really fell off
I LOVE MY TRANS COMRADES
dysphoria, social anxiety
Have a (free, yay. well, included in membership cost) consultation with a personal trainer/physical therapist guy at my gym coming up to help me design a better routine and diet and stuff
I talked to him yesterday but I'm not out at the gym and idk if I wanna out myself but I don't want to make things awkward there since it's like, the only "third place" I have rn
I dunno if telling him "yeah I really don't want bulky arms and shoulders and I'm trying to grow my hips and ass" would give him the hint or that'd be weird and don't really know how I'm gonna navigate that conversation
I guess I can come up with a plausible alibi about training for hiking and that I have a job offer to work for the forestry department so I'm wanting to work on my legs a lot for steep hill hiking for that?
The staff there all seem cool and it's a pretty inclusive gym (seen multiple other queer ppl there) but for some reason it's way less nerve-wracking thinking about just vaguely coming out to someone as just broadly queer than saying "uh, I have The Genderβ’ actually"
I dunno
I feel like I'm more nervous about it than I should be but that's like always the case for me (GAD)
I'm doing a lot better overall the last month or so than my usual though? Idk, any thoughts? Thank you nice internet ppl
As a former personal trainer, they'll ask you your goals as part of the consultation. You could say "I'd really like a huge squat and deadlift", and that should work. You'll likely also be given some upper body stuff (good for sure), but if you just half-ass arms, shoulders, dynamic abs, and forearms, while three-quarter-assing back and chest, you should get you what you want without outting yourself.
Plus its really hard work to grow muscle, so you'll have to work your ass on any way. It will likely be easier to fake training arms than it is to train your glutes hard, for example.
Good luck!
Thanks
I've been whole-assing legs and ass already on my own for a couple weeks on my own getting back in the swing of things
We have this family in for one of their kids. The other kids visit daily. They have one little girl who is both cute and creepy in the way only little girls can be. She comes riiiight up to me and just stands and stares at me, like just 10 cm in front of me and stares. Says nothing. Just smiles. Adorable
i whine about work
if i have to do another presentation for a huge group of people next week i am going to scream, it is so exhausting, i'm an hour into work and i feel like i need to sleep, AND i spent all day yesterday preparing for it too... i miss doing my "real job"
edit: also, i guess i'm channeling "Tim Allen's Neighbour" vibes today as I rearranged my desk and my webcam is behind my monitor, so only my eyes and up are visible when I turn it on, lmao.