this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...

I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).

Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.

CONTENT WARNINGSGrief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given

PremiseThe titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.

The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)

"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).

Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).

Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).

Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.


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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

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[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can anyone who's already in 2025 tell me how it is? I think I'll just stay in 2024 if the vibes are off

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[–] MoonElf@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

🩡🩷🀍🩷🩡

I love you 🫢

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Feeling exhausted and hateful and bitter and angry and weirdly isolated and just, what the fuck is the moon or whatever doing that's fucking with me at this time of year? I hate absolutely everything except for Dragon Quest.

If you're all very lucky maybe I'll post about Mice Tea sometime soon.

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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[–] PaX@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

My mom started using my non-deadname without me even asking :O

She still uses the other one in a lot of contexts still (talking to friends about me) but it was still really, really nice to see especially after she was so dismissive (read: transphobic) when I started talking to her about my transness initially

I haven't rly talked about it with her like... in-depth and seriously yet but stillllll

Uhhh amerikkka is a land of contrasts or something

Have been so surprised by her recently, she's even been getting into left politics recently. Some of it is Trump derangement syndrome but like, she's using my name now without even asking and we've been talking seriously about communism and anti-imperialism for the first time in my life. She has even expressed wanting to get involved with some kind of left organization (I haven't recced her a communist party or something quite yet lol). People can actually change, there has to be hope for all of us

Maybe part of it is I am actually quite okay at talking communism (without even saying that word hehe) with people now lol, a lot of it is cuz of this site besides reading more and spending a little time (not enough) in orgs

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago

jerma-herbivore ate like 8 fistful of spinach just now, made the face and everything

[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago
[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

this one's ONLY for the men, the fellasHey crush wassup

You're looking cute today

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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Eco* (1/6 (The Darkest Day in Our Democracy.) - 1/12)
Yukiko (1/13 - 1/19)
oscardejarjayes* (1/20 - 1/26)
SwitchyandWitchy* (1/27 - 2/2)
SILLY BEAN@lemmygrad.ml* (2/3 - 2/9)
AshenWolf* (2/10 - 2/16)
GayTuckerCarlson* (2/17 - 2/23)

EstraDoll (3/2 - 3/8)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

Found some lip gloss that has this cute pomp pomp keychain on it, the lip gloss itself is pretty good smelling like cupcake frosting. Also got me some witch hazel stuff, cleaned my face and added some gloss and feeling kel-bliss

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

breaking bad if it was cool:

do not. forcefem my husband.

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[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

Fucking great! I’m sick again for the second time this month. Another week of eating baby food, I guess? catgirl-flop

[–] Yukiko@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Work sucks and no one should have so many meetings in one day. Especially over inane stuff that doesn't need handled in a Zoom call. Just let me do my job. aubrey-angry

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[–] shallot@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Me, 3 hours ago: β€œIt’ll be simple, just gotta read some docs to set a few nvim settings”

Me, 5 minutes ago, having gone down a lazynvim rabbit hole: monke-beepboop

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

dysphoria, self care, body hairBeen putting it off but gonna try the Nair creme I got after awhile neglecting myself and will let you all know how it goes

(I'm a deeply cursed big gay baby with super sensitive skin but also ridiculous hirsute Mediterranean genes)

Hopefully it goes well, if not, I hope to provide valuable data to trans sciencetrans-heart

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Yt algo presenting vids for terminally online and lonely people in my recs wonder-who-thats-for absolutely no idea why

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[–] yewler@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

I'm so damn tired of smug liberals. It's so exhausting

[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

listening to all the saddest songs in my collection to hype myself up for HRT appointment #0

[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

it went okay.... I'm getting labs done in a couple weeks and if it goes well, they will prescribe patches

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (8 children)

Reading an appallingly bad yuri manga so that I can remember how bad things really are and what the good times are like by contrast, and then being satisfied reading a middling yuri manga madeline-smug

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (25 children)

Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow Fallow (spoiler free though)

For a primer see here

I know it probably seems like I just talk about the same shit on repeat, but things stick in my brain. I did not become intimately familiar with Nevada's guts by not yapping about it...

I need to play it again still, but Fallow defeated me basically. I would probably say that Fallow is a top 10 game for me, but it feels sort of weird to say when I feel like my understanding is incomplete. Having a refusal of closure for an ending is pretty par for the course at least when it comes to Trans A Novels, but Fallow is built different. It probably has less than 10,000 words of dialogue total.

Fallow is a very vague, alluring "vibes" game. People talk about this stuff in any old mainstream game, and maybe I'm just so dumb that I needed a game to rip away my analytical ability to appreciate it, but I fucking GET IT now. Fallow is A VIBE. Or maybe average video games just don't hit hard enough thematically. I love the eerie, desolate mood though, I love the colour pallete, how everything is dried out and creaky feeling, how the music swings between "kinda chill" and "absolutely not fuckin chill, where do you think you are kiddo?"

You could just accept it as a vibes piece, and it manages to convey a lot about its core mood and themes just through like, context, and Isabelline's narration. The flashbacks, the dream sequences, you know. But someone writing about Fallow had the utter nerve to open her write-up saying "I wish I felt more confident about my understanding of Fallow, a new lo-fi adventure game by the artist and musician Ada Rook." Fuck you, that's my line.

The meaning of what happens after the days run out is more or less completely lost on me. I'll take notes when I go back in. I know art is whatever you take away from it, in a sense, but I wonder what the intent behind certain things was. I desire to understand a little bit about who/how/why this was made this specific way. It feels like I should, too; I'm stupid, but I pretty much studied for this. My life's goofyass obsession, and when the credits rolled on Fallow I was basically left staring at them, thinking "huh." Not a good feeling.

I guess it's kind of arrogant to assume you can just understand all of the things on some level, and I know this fixation on comprehension is a dumb overly-literal autism thing, but I persist. I wanna know what happens exactly to Isabelline and her sisters.

Also... are those like, sisters, or sisters-sisters? lea-think

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