this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Trans Megathread from January 20th, 2024 to January 26th, 2024 (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by SwitchyandWitchy@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net
595 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hi Everyone! I'm planning on adding stuff here but first enjoy your new weekly mega <3

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (5 children)

does "DIY HRT" mean synthesizing it yourself, or can you also buy premade stuff outside of prescriptions? I want to try to stick with prescriptions as long as I can, but I kind of want to keep some extra around just in case things get desperate here in amerikkka. if it's the former... well let's just say I'd strongly prefer the latter, if anyone can recommend reputable vendors.

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

it usually refers to the latter, buying grey-market HRT online that usually comes from pharmaceutical manufacturers but there are reputable "homebrew" suppliers too, usually of injectable esters. it's been a while for me and i'm not american so i don't have much specific advice. i think this is still considered a good resource: https://hrtcafe.net/ if you scroll to "pharmaceutical vendors" you can see some reputable options, where they ship to, and what payment options they take. it's a great way of building a stockpile of HRT which is a very valuable thing to do, i wish you luck with it! worth noting that by far the most cost-effective option is definitely going to be buying the "homebrew" injectable esters. stockpiling factory-made pills or patches or gel is very possible too but will come at a relatively more premium price.

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[–] yewler@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

genital stuff, sex stuff

So I have virtually zero sex drive. It's never really bothered me, but part of me has always wondered if it was a low testosterone thing, and that wonder has increased drastically since I apparently had a history of that when I was way younger and my mom didn't tell me 'til very recently.

So all of that to say, I'm kind of wondering if I will gain a sex drive as my hormone levels approach what they should be. I'm also told that if I don't use my penis while on HRT it'll hurt a lot if I try to again. That's something I want to avoid, but I have quite literally never masturbated or anything out of a lack of interest. So I'm at this weird spot of maybe being horny and wanting to do sex stuff later but not really having any good way to keep my member from the edge of death.

I'm not sure how much sense I'm making. I don't really have a specific question outside of "is this a legit worry", but I'm looking for thoughts from the infinitely wise trans council

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[–] Yukiko@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

My mind seems to be calming down now. Thankfully. Seems that PMS may have exacerbated my negative feelings a small bit there, but I'm coming down from it thanks to everyone sharing their stories with me in the last thread. That said...

CW: Dysphoria and family talkI still feel a severely profound sadness when I see a pregnant woman or woman with her child(ren). And I still feel super fake, but not nearly as badly as I did.

Furthermore, my mother just canNOT understand why I've been so depressed. I try to explain it to her and she feeds me lines like "Kids suck. You should feel lucky." I don't care. You simply just can't grasp it. JFC she just keeps trying to add gasoline to the fire.

I also measured my breasts for the first time since surgery about 2 months ago. My bra size is apparently 38K, but I want to try on some bras to ensure that that is actually the case. That just seems overly large to me. Granted I was a small 38F prior to surgery, but still. 38K is like true awooga territory and seems unrealistic.

[–] TheRealChrisR@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

CW Suicide

spoiler___ i just cant handle being trans. I couldnt handle it when it was vaguely tolerated and now that ill probably be thrown into a camp if i transition its just an impossibility. I dont like my hobbies or friends and family very much. Id want to make a list of touristy fun things to do before a suicide in 2026/27 but I cant even think of anything I want to do. Maybe watch the movies in my blu ray collection once around? I just wish there was an anti depressant powerful enough to make me stop caring. I also hate it because I cant get a gun due to previous attempts and have to rely on hanging/household poisons and theyre pretty scary. Life just isnt worth it for me and it sucks because Im kind of privleged and just wish I could give this life to someone whod enjoy it.

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[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hmm, maybe I should go on a hike today. checks temperature oh that's right it's really cold. I still might do it, tbh.

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[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you happen to live in a deep blue state, exactly how much fear should you be feeling right now? My first impression is that not a whole lot will change for me except being unable to change legal sex on my passport

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[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Had a very productive day and decluttered and took recycling to the dump that they don't take on the street pickup, went to the gym, did my grocery shopping and took Rosie and Goggles to their first vet appointment and got their shots and microchips (they did really well! Goggles wanted to hold onto my shoulder and grumbled a little bit they were very good in the car and didn't scratch or anything) meow-bounce

mental health, positive mostly but ahhh stressCan tell I'm on the verge of being really burned out though

Almost road raged at slow distracted dipshits multiple times today and have been really irritable and got really overwhelmed shopping today

Lately I've felt more competent and grown up overall than I ever have before but holy shit I'm exhausted.

I'd do reprehensible things to have a competent sibling to help me take care of my parents

I'm pretty much a lone wolf and it's taking a toll

two-wolves-1

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Scammers on redbook continue to try to scam me by enticing me with shit from steam or google play, I merely keep talking about how they stopped making good sonic games after sonic and the black knight saul-stare

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

rant/vent/whatever about change and hrtIts been like six months since I first committed to myself to getting on diy, missed every timeframe I set myself, just can't do it. Can't bring myself to change. I don't understand why I can't change. Why I can't progress. I just can't. I'm stupid I guess. Scared. Honestly don't deserve the help.
spoiler suicide Never going to be able to change. So incredibly unhappy with how things are but still don't do anything to change it. Should just kill myself and get it over with. I'll never be happy, I'll never be at peace, and I'm never going to change anything. I wish I had someone to take my snakes. I wonder what will happen to them.
self harmGoing to try and distract myself again, like I do every fucking day, and if that doesn't work I'll cut myself. Already broke my streak and I don't care. Going to kill myself anyway. What a sad, pathetic end this makes.

I remember people telling me from the time I was a child life was hard. It is, it sucks, I hate life, I hate living. Why would anyone force this shit on someone.

I don't want it to be over but I don't want to keep struggling. This sucks and I hate it and I can't change any of it. Why can't I do anything ever. Why am I a useless, pathetic sack of shit. Why am I this way and my sister is fine. Literally just bad genetics or some shit. Who gives a fuck. Someone kill me.

I take back what I said the other day, I do blame autism for this shit. NTs can change and work on themselves. I have always struggled with change and risk, no matter how small, and this is just too big for me to cope with.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (4 children)

What’s stopping you from doing diy?

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[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

spoilerI can say with certainty that you aren't stupid. Change is difficult because you are autistic, and change is very difficult for autistic people. That doesn't make you stupid, nor does it make you undeserving. Additionally, while change is difficult, that doesn't mean it's impossible, or that you will never be able to change.

HRT especially can be a very scary change. For me, it was daunting. How would it affect me, would I like it, how would others see me, etc. Point is, I was very close to pushing it off, and probably would have had I not had somebody to help me and nudge me to the point I did my first injection. The main point I want to get across with this is that it's tough taking those first steps.

Keep in mind that almost nothing about HRT is permanent, and it needs to be done permanently for the effects to work. Yes, that means it would be something for the rest of your life, but only if you like the changes. What this also means is that it's not a commitment. You can take it step by step. Try setting a goal to start HRT for a week. It doesn't have to go beyond that if you don't want it to, but if you do, set a goal for a second week. If you want to continue after that, keep setting goals that you will be able to meet, and ease yourself into that change until it feels natural. For me now, it just feels like another part of my everyday life.

Regardless of what HRT would cause and what would come of it, the results would certainly be better than harming and/or killing yourself. You deserve to be happy, just as much as anybody else does, no matter what you think. I know you've probably heard "things will get better" a lot, but it's true that things can get better. Sometimes getting better can only come with change, and I believe that you can.

Also remember that everybody is different. Don't compare yourself to others in a way that degrades yourself. You and your sister are different people, with different minds, in different situations.

Do what you need to do to avoid harming yourself. A streak doesn't matter as much as moving forward, and regardless of how long you've gone without doing so, you're still moving forward. I have a feeling I'm not the first person you would go to if you needed to talk to someone, and I'm not the best at talking, but if you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out.

meow-hug

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[–] Beetle@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

I don’t know if I’m put together enough to deal with the facial hair I’ll get from hrt.

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Consult for laser hair removal is going pretty well. The nurse doing the consult has worked with trans patients before as was understanding (was very nervous about potential transphobic reactions). Just waiting to see the quote.

EDIT: Looking like $200/session for face + neck. I don't know if that seems high or is ballpark. I can afford it, but I am still shopping around.

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[–] Des@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Alright no more smol bean stuff I'm going to start using more capitalization so my shit is readable. Feels weird. Was just going to use my alt to do that.

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[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

mild vent, slight drug mentioncis friend of mine messaged me for the first time in a little bit. saw the noto and was kind of hoping he was gonna be checking in, seeing how i was doing given the Everything of Everything going on. he was just complaining about how cold it is outside. yeah, sure, thanks for checking in buddy, guess i'll just go back to getting high alone doggirl-cry

idk. maybe i'm being uncharitable.

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[–] cyber_godqueen@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago

I̷̯̋ ̵̲̓h̸̫̓a̵̾ͅv̸̺͒ệ̸ ̵͈͝r̶̠͛e̸̦̿t̴̺̾u̵̩͐r̵̟͘n̸͙͝e̵̩͑d̷̢̑,̶̡̒ ̶͍͝i̴̱͠ń̴͚s̵͔̕e̶̛͖c̶͉̍t̷̛̫s̶̛̪

bask in the magnificence of SHODAN

[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago

sigh :c

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