this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 137 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If John Brown is remembered for one thing it would definitely be his nuanced both sides view of oppression

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 75 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

He was also a friend to his Native neighbors and a fond reader of Napoleon and Oliver Cromwell histories. Even setting aside his armed rebellion and Bleeding Kansas, the guy was never much of a pacifist and hardly one to shy away from extremism or his belief in the righteousness of working people.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 118 points 1 year ago (10 children)

This guy couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a punt gun

[–] axont@hexbear.net 105 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"Modern John Brown would be Pete Buttigieg" is like some type of perverse blasphemy I don't quite know how to digest. These tweets are genuine evil.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 71 points 1 year ago

John Brown started my path towards being a Communist

I read what he did, how he so strongly understood the evil of slavery that he went out and did something about it, and that resonated with me

Of course, the people who would tell me, "Oh, he had the right idea, but he shouldn't have killed people" only strengthened my respect for him, because I knew they were just the same mealy-mouthed cowards who would said they stood against slavery but would do nothing to actually dismantle the system that permitted it

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago

It is genuinely one of the most disrespectful things I've ever heard said about the man.

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[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

John Brown didn't conditionally advocate for people in bondage if they were christian, this person is completely thoughtless.

John Brown was really religious-->really religious people hate non-believers (which isn't even generally true) but it's demonstrably untrue in Brown's case with even a cursory knowledge of his life

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[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 48 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, of everyone in society to hate, it would be the communists for atheism and not the monstrous war machine that scours a million lives a decade and robs the global South of its resources every time its gaze falls upon a poor, barely defend brown country like the eye of Sauron. Yes, I'm sure he'd be an insufferable terminally online social media lib, rather than the one who shoots the insufferable terminally online social media lib.

[–] privatized_sun@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

communists are atheists

"Finance imperialists are soulless and satanic, every church is just a temporarily embarrassed Jeffrey Epstein pagan temple" this is atheism, I am very smart!

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[–] cmhickman358@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago

This is what happens when literally the only thing you know about John Brown was he was against slavery

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

he's gonna be real shocked to learn the religious views of like half of all communist movements in the Americas

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (11 children)

He's a radlib

Finding out a cucumber is a fruit would shock him

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[–] kristina@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago

John Brown would be jerking it to Cuba

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago

Lol not only did Marx and Brown coexisted in the same time period, but Brown has expressed his interest in socialism and anti capitalism. Does this loser think every slave Brown worked with was a devout Christian?

[–] 420stalin69@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

Lenin would have said “tighten the interest rates because the economy needs healthy bank reserves” if you ask me.

[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But we already had a modern attempt at John Brown : willem-van-spronsen

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[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 101 points 1 year ago (14 children)

Holy shit John Brown himself was so fucking sick of hearing this exact argument made about slavery he killed slavers with a giant sword.

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[–] ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider@hexbear.net 86 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Kill all slaveowners but also nuance is important” -Settler John Brown

[–] mkultrawide@hexbear.net 49 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they are the children of God" -- Jesus Christ

"I, John Brown am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with blood." -- John Brown

Clearly, we can all see the parallels.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they are the children of God" -- Jesus Christ

"I, John Brown am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with blood." -- John Brown

Clearly, we can all see the parallels.

I don't know about parallels but this certainly reads like a before and after.

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[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 85 points 1 year ago

If you're a John Brown stan, you can't complain about Hamas being religious extremists. After all, John Brown was a religious extremist.

[–] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 76 points 1 year ago (2 children)

John Brown would have shot this man.

[–] dom@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago

"Owen, get the broadswords"

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[–] BeanBoy@hexbear.net 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m taking the middle ground! I just want peace!

repeats pro Israel taking points non stop

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

JUST RELEASE THE HOSTAGES!

bombs every corner of Gaza that might be hiding hostages

[–] tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I've seen more than a few pro-Israeli comments say "if they stole your mom and siblings would you call for a ceasefire?? Wouldn't you want the most severe reaction from Israel?" Like what the fuck, no, if my family is held hostage please stop shooting and bombing everyone! I haven't seen any real person make this argument, it seems like desperate propaganda that is clearly failing.

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Palestinian ethnonationalist

THEY WANT TO RETURN TO THEIR HOMES AND NOT BE BLOWN UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT

[–] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 64 points 1 year ago

john-brown all my valor, stolen

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 57 points 1 year ago (2 children)

DUDE what is UP with the bad john brown account takes lately??

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (4 children)

the radicalism of the past is easier for libs to swallow. history's only purpose for them is to justify the status quo. john brown is good because he was part of the process that brought us this far. he needn't push us any further.

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 56 points 1 year ago

"There are good slavemasters and bad slaves so I agree with both sides. How about we try a humanitarian pause where all the slaves are freed 4 hours a day?" - John Brown

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago

a radical liberal with...an interest in economics

"I, John Brown am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with ~~blood.~~ careful manipulation of interest rates" -- Modern John Brown apparently

(damn, that hurt to type...)

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Slavery is none other than the most barbarous, unprovoked and unjustifiable war of one portion of its citizens against another portion, the only conditions of which are perpetual imprisonment and hopeless servitude, or absolute extermination. I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land can never be purged away but with blood.

Wait, I’m losing my twitter stan, let me start over.

I, John Brown, remain baffled that anyone who isn’t a slaver or a slave can look at this conflict and feel so strongly that one side’s cause is so just and the other’s so wicked that it demands everyone take the same, extremely strong position.

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[–] Des@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

this is like an invocation

i hope john brown's ghost reaches through a mirror to choke this person out for such libshit

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[–] context@hexbear.net 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

maybe they're just really into john brown's whole aesthetic but not really his politics?

[–] mkultrawide@hexbear.net 68 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This guy tried to make an argument that John Brown would support Israel because of the Bible, but the Bible also doesn't condemn slavery and tells slaves to obey their masters, and John Brown clearly fucking disagreed with that.

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[–] Vampire@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

It's a totally symmetrical conflict.

You lefties moan about Israel controlling Palestine's water supply, but Palestine also surely controls Israel's water supply.

Sure Israel just invaded Gaza and told people to flee north Gaza, but Palestine actually also told Israelis to flee north Israel.

Israel has stolen 77% of the mandated Palestine? Guess what, commies, Palestine has also stolen 77% of Israel.

and so on.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Hamas controls the world's water supply as long as they want to control all rivers and all seas. Only our ponds are safe.

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[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If this motherfucker doesnt get John Brown's name out of his fucking mouth...

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[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago

doesn't understand the first thing about John Brown, he's like the first person I'd think of when prompted with "felt strongly his cause was just"

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 40 points 1 year ago

How you know that's a deeply-entrenched, tick-buried settler running that account

[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago

Is this a bit?

Centrist John Brown?

I remain baffled that anyone who isn’t a white supremacist or a black supremacist can look at this conflict and feel so strongly that one side’s cause is so just and the other side’s so wicked that it demands everyone take the same, extremely strong position. Anyone who would take an extreme stance like “gather a militia of men and go on a righteous but perhaps doomed struggle for freedom and equality” against one side is crazy!

"Hamas wants to kill all the jews because a Zionist told me so. I am very smart and rational."

[–] commiespammer@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago

The real John Brown would shove this guy's phone up his ass and then shoot him.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Libs will do this shit with any historical figure who's contempraries are too dead to rebuke them for it, start a Juba stan account instead coward

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