this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Doing fictional violence against police officers? haram

Violating labor laws in real life? halal

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[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 94 points 11 months ago (1 children)

WE WILL COUP WHOEVER WE WANT

I couldn't bring myself to shoot virtual cops in a videogame

frothingfash

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[–] Rom@hexbear.net 84 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] MattsAlt@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

Didn't like doing poor people crime, rich people crime is much more fun

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 61 points 11 months ago

buys crime game: the crime. a video game literally named after a crime where you play as a criminal

they make you do crime in it

peppino-holy-shit

[–] Venus@hexbear.net 56 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Shooting cops is like the least evil thing you can do in gta

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

You could blow up Zuck's head in 5

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

You can shoot US soldiers too.

[–] boiledfrog@hexbear.net 49 points 11 months ago

Dumbest man alive

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He flashed a flight attendant

[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

it's only a crime if it damages property

otherwise it's just sparkling misbehaviour

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 42 points 11 months ago

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY SNOWFLAKE LIBERAL MUSK

[–] save_vs_death@hexbear.net 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

conservatism is the new punk

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

Michael Graves is that you?

[–] Magician@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago

Didn't like doing crime that threatened capital.

us-foreign-policy

What a fucking weenie. This jackass has a platform to talk about appreciating art and fiction, but can't even engage with an opening tutorial. Why do people idolize him?

Why do they think he's a rebel or punk rock?

This post was written by Martin Prince if Springfield existed in South Africa and the bullies failed to whoop his ass

[–] AlkaliMarxist@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago

Too much virtue signalling in video games discourse these days

Smh

[–] roux@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Since Dan didn't list all the GTA titles, he might as well be showing off how well he can count to 6. And of course we are all very impressed with his abilities. Good for Dan, counting all the way to 6 on his own. Who's a big boy, Dan is, Dan's a very big boy.

And second, imagine being so out of touch that you went into GTAV not aware that you will probably have to do crime... and then use that as an excuse to dunk on the game when you come from a crime family.

Lie about playing a game for internet clout lol.

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[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 34 points 11 months ago

A manchild in its literal form. Now I know why I hate the way he speaks so much. Not just on twitter but in real life too. It’s reminiscent of a child at a dinner table trying to impress the adults by being “aware of big people problems”

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

What a fuckin loser, like holy shit visible-disgust

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

my-hero LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He had all the money in the world. But all he wanted was the one thing money couldn't buy.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

Dude has an insane base of dipshit followers who gloom onto him and worship his every footstep. He also maybe possibly has, like, a baby-making ranch full of women he's conned into being his baby-mamas, a few of which sincerely adore him (at least, per TrueAnon).

He's even bought that. He's still not happy, though, cause his cravings constantly exceed his rate of consumption.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why the fuck would you play GRAND THEFT AUTO if you don't like crime? It's like "FELONY: the vidyagame"

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

Elon is too busy going to Mars to read trivial things like titles. they're much too complex and require far too much mental capacity to possibly extend his limited remaining energy towards. very-intelligent

[–] Monk3brain3@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Everything he does is in some way pandering to a group of people. total conman (as in like total football lolk)

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[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Cops are the only employees he has qualms about harming.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hardly. Dude's probably hacked a COVID-infused lung onto a thousand members of his security detail by now.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

Concerning.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My most chill memories of GTA5 are of using that one subway station in hollywood as an endless bacon smoker. Only one entrance, narrow choke points, multiple fallback positions... that bulletproof glass elevator is such a good spot that the shooting usually only ended when I got bored.

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago

It's about time right wingers had disk horse on shooting virtual cops

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Exploiting people’s livelihood for profit is fine with me but shooting cops in video games is where I draw the line

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

$50 on the table, I'm betting Elon picked up the game, tried to do crimes, failed miserably, and decided Aktuly Doing Crime Not Cool.

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

considering his elden ring build, this is almost definitely the truth.

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

He was just trying to brag about playing a mobile game for children , so yeah likely.

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[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Isn't this Bozo a fan of Cyberpunk 2077? You do crimes in that game, both by in-universe standards and current ones

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago

Ah but you see in CP2077 you are a subcontractor for the cops, so (some) of that murder is actually legal!

[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

Elon the game is called Grand Theft Auto what did you think it was going to be about

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

What a giant fucking nerd God damn.

Elon shouldn't get the wall he should literally be swirlyed to death.

How does this not pierce the veil for his fan boys this is like 65+ diner patron target audience.

All the people who love how much of an epic troll he is have deffinitely been playing gta 6 since they were 10.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Dude should've been entombed in spitballs like a Pompeii victim by now

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[–] BurnedDonutHole@lemmy.ml 19 points 11 months ago

Tell me you're lying without telling me you're lying.

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So he's never played a game in which you kill people? i.e. most of them

Or is the argument that cops are better than other people?

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

Wasn't he literally trying to brag about the graveyards full of bodies thanks to him like last week.

Somehow both of those things are equally embaressing.

[–] poppy_apocalypse@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

The elmo rehabilitation tour. The only gtas he didn't play were san Andreas and v because they were set in la, or maybe another reason

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

Who is he trying to impress with this weird lie?

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

This is probably the most pathetic loser take anyone has ever had on GTA. This take makes "GTA makes the kids do crime!" sound cool.

[–] impiri@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago

pwease don't make me pway a game with cwime 🥺

[–] POKEMONGOTOTHEGULAG@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Wow Elon is such a good soul 🙏 Bless him

[–] CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 11 months ago

I wonder what his opinion on the mission "No Russian" from Modern Warfare 2 (the original, not the remake).

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

Criminal doesn't feel right about comminting crimes in a video game. Not what i was expecting to see today

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