the_dunk_tank

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FUCKING "NINJA SWORD", ninja did not have standardized equipment or tactics or leadership. They were assassins and spies, they would have no use or legal cover story to carry a sword and would be immediately caught.

a KATANA is a SAMURAI SWORD you fucking SWORD PHILLISTINES

why? BECAUSE IT WAS USED EXCLUSIVELY BY SAMURAI

they would EXECUTE YOU for OWNING A SWORD if you were not a samurai

Heck, the samurai would hide next to roads at night and MURDER RANDOM PEASANTS that crossed their path just to TEST THEIR NEW SWORDS

If it didn't kill in 1 stroke, it was a SHIT SWORD

and it was PERFECTLY LEGAL because JUST LIKE EURO KNIGHTS the samurai were WARLORD KILLER MAFIOSOS who survived by PILLAGE AND OPRESSION

you idiot anglos INVENTED the term SAMURAI SWORD because your IDIOT ICE MUTANT MOUTHS can't pronounce something as simple as "KA-TA-NA" so USE YOUR OWN WORDS IDIOT BRITS

Excuse me, ninja use traditional peasant and laborer tools as weapons.

I welcome the Tokugawa Clan's efforts, and I encourage them to go further.

you shouldn't be able to claim the title 'Sir' if you're not willing to engage in trial by sword duel

So even after they ban guns, they'll still go after knives.

Maybe...maybe they should look at the root issues of why there is an increase of violence. But that means investing in housing and education, and stop tearing up the social programs that help people meet their basic needs. Might have to cut back on arming nazis elsewhere.

Some British weeaboo is constructing a Shinzo Abe contraption "ninja sword" as we speak. The Sun readers will not stop him as they are not versed in the way of the blade.

They are disarming the proletariat because they know how hard we have all been studying the blade. The sword is the true worker's symbol of liberation. Only a multi-thousand-times folded blade can cleanly slice through the chains of oppression.

This is the funniest reenactment of the sword hunt imaginable.

Are they trying to lose to the Tories again?

They'll never win without the Ninja-weeaboo vote.

We have finally found an industry small enough not to be able to buy him off.

There had been that Weapons Law, for a start. Weapons were involved in so many crimes that, Swing reasoned, reducing the number of weapons had to reduce the crime rate.

Vimes wondered if he'd sat up in bed in the middle of the night and hugged himself when he'd dreamed that one up. Confiscate all weapons, and crime would go down. It made sense. It would have worked, too, if only there had been enough coppers - say, three per citizen.

Amazingly, quite a few weapons were handed in. The flaw, though, was one that had somehow managed to escape Swing, and it was this: criminals don't obey the law. It's more or less a requirement for the job. They had no particular interest in making the streets safer for anyone except themselves. And they couldn't believe what was happening. It was like Hogswatch every day.

Night Watch, Terry Pratchett

actually this is a samurai sword officer, not a ninja sword

The funniest thing is, the kindsa swords he wants to ban are already banned under the offensive weapons act.

Like, they've been illegal since 1988, in 2019 the act was amended to include the sorts of impractical wall hangers I've heard people online describe as "mall ninja shit".

Starmer's a lawyer, he should know this.

I like how gun control in the UK has basically turned it into Dune, but only for crime.

Ah yes, I'm sure its the katanas, swords and knives the problem, definitely not the increase in cost of living and the stagnant wages which causing folk to choose between heating and eating.

I'm American so I must ask. Are ninja edits still legal?

Mall ninjas in shambles.

I love the Keir Starmer impression bits they do on Trashfuture and I don't know even if they could have thought up a funnier bit than this quote

Ben in shambles

Okay, I'll bite. How hard is it to get a katana in the UK?

Wrong move, bring back swordtraining in school and arm every child with their choice of blade and optional buckler