this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 51 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Critical support to any republican politician wanting to murder other republican politicians.

[–] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Where is the "well of the senate?" It would be extremely funny if that were indoors.

[–] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

LMAO, IT'S AT THE FRONT OF THE SENATE CHAMBER. It's right in front of the raised desks where the senate leadership sits.

[–] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 32 points 9 months ago

The walls are stone so it's either gonna embed in the wall or bounce around, good luck to their seconds 🤣

[–] aFairlyLargeCat@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

Catching strays in the hog-house.

porky-scared-flipped porky-scared

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

LMFAO! Just business as usual while there's an ever darkening and expanding blood stain on the floor as the number of reps begins to dwindle.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 44 points 9 months ago

Please start literally killing each other, US politicians, I would pay for tickets to watch

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I hope they try to have a pistol duel with modern pistols lol

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 37 points 9 months ago (1 children)

two dudes bringing colt pythons in and vaporising their fingers down to the charred bone like a cool skeleton dude from a da share z0ne image, each and every round fired mercing a random person other than the other duelist.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago

Even better than Congressional baseball

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 31 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Whiny baby republicans have to bring a gun to win what should be a sword fight between gentlemen, Katanas only.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

Nunchucks. Make it interesting and equally likely that they roll a natural 20 on a self-crit.

They could also reenact the "Shit! I hate it when my Schwartz gets twisted!" scene from Spaceballs, but on the blockchain.

[–] sloth@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

Sir, I'll have you know this is 'Murica.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago

Flamethrower duel

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Showing up with this bubba’d out Rsh-12

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

My wrist hurts just looking at that

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago

Please please please I would be soooo happy.

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

critical-support, but idk if I even need the critical qualifier, so just support ig

[–] sloth@hexbear.net 32 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Didn't someone challenge Abraham Lincoln to a duel, and ol' Abe chose Broadswords as his weapon of choice? If I recall the coward backed down.

edit: found it!

The day of the duel, September 22, arrived and the combatants met at Bloody Island, Missouri, to face death or victory. As the two men faced each other, with a plank between them that neither was allowed to cross, Lincoln swung his sword high above Shields to cut through a nearby tree branch. This act demonstrated the immensity of Lincoln’s reach and strength and was enough to show Shields that he was at a fatal disadvantage. With the encouragement of bystanders, the two men called a truce.

Could be fun.

Add an addendum they are always held on Bloody Island, MO and call it tradition.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

The only thing that would make it more unfair is if Abe suggested in epee. One lunge and the dude would be a donut.

[–] TechnoUnionTypeBeat@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

Lots of people forget Abe was a fucking wrestler before getting into politics, man was fucking jacked

[–] odmroz@hexbear.net 31 points 9 months ago

Finally, the US government solves itself.

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 9 months ago

no fuckin way lmfao

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago

Missouri's gonna party like it's 1839.

[–] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Preston Brooks, the pro-slavery Congressman who beat Charles Sumner, later got goaded into challenging abolitionist Anson Burlingame to a duel. Thing is Burlingame as the challenged got to pick the weapons and venue. Anson was an expert marksman so he picked rifles, so Brooks wussed out.

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago

There’s an alleyway in my city famous for having been a dueling spot. it’s near a bunch of bars and people piss all over it due to the lack of public restrooms. This being the south I assume all of the dumbasses who died there deserved it.

[–] Maulwurst@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

I’ve been a legalize dueling guy for over a year now. I’m glad my policy ideas are taken seriously.

[–] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

“The hour of High noon” is such a funny way to make the time fluctuate seasonally and confuse the duelers.

Also weapon of choice means they are gonna shoot rifles/swords

[–] ChairmanSpongebob@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Please duel but with modern weapons now. No more squinting to aim and hoping the powder isn't wet, just fully loaded Glock 18's now please

[–] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 9 months ago

12 paces and a 50BMG.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

i want this tho

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 7 points 9 months ago

Critical support for politicians landing critical hits on each other

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago
[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 4 points 9 months ago
[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 3 points 9 months ago

I'm gettin satisfied.