this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse

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SAY SOME FUCKIGN WOKE IN THIS WAFFLE HOUSE, CIVILIAN.

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[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 70 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I saw the "DOMESTIC" on his patch and my brain immediately filled in "DOMESTIC ABUSER" lol

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago

Being against domestic enemies is a nice euphemism for being an abuser. He's like Abraham Lincoln but instead of leading a war against slavery he just screams at children until they throw ball good.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Me pimped out in full tacticool gear, ready to slay the enemies of the nation.

The enemies of the nation: some poor people in a third world country who can't even place America on a map, barely heard of it and yet have to survive their soldiers, have no idea what wokism or any of that weird internet lingo is, are entirely content to live in their little town and never leave ever, and are content to only know like about 100 people 90% of whom are also permanent residents of their town. Yeah these guys right here? America is in sooooo much danger from.

I don't want to minimize the folks from different parts of the world, but the reality is there's a lot of really poor people in extremely humble living conditions who are content to just be happy with their families and to live in peace, and yet to hear the vicious murderous rhetoric coming from modern day orcs towards them as though our future depends on annihilating these people is depressing and frustrating.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago

They're not slaves to our treat pipeline, so that's a threat!

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 69 points 9 months ago (5 children)

smedly-exhausted

Napoleon once said, "All men are enamored of decorations . . . they positively hunger for them."

So by developing the Napoleonic system - the medal business - the government learned it could get soldiers for less money, because the boys liked to be decorated. Until the Civil War there were no medals. Then the Congressional Medal of Honor was handed out. It made enlistments easier.

After the Civil War no new medals were issued until the Spanish- American War. In the World War, we used propaganda to make the boys accept conscription. They were made to feel ashamed if they didn't join the army.

So vicious was this war propaganda that even God was brought into it. With few exceptions our clergymen joined in the clamor to kill, kill, kill. To kill the Germans. God is on our side . . . it is His will that the Germans be killed. And in Germany, the good pastors called upon the Germans to kill the allies ... to please the same God.

That was a part of the general propaganda, built up to make people war conscious and murder conscious. Beautiful ideals were painted for our boys who were sent out to die. This was the "war to end all wars." This was the "war to make the world safe for democracy." No one mentioned to them, as they marched away, that their going and their dying would mean huge war profits.

No one told these American soldiers that they might be shot down by bullets made by their own brothers here. No one told them that the ships on which they were going to cross might be torpedoed by submarines built with United States patents. They were just told it was to be a "glorious adventure."

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 46 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Soldiers will fight long and hard for a bit of coloured ribbon - Happybadger, 2024

https://www.reddit.com/r/JustBootThings/comments/18s9zrk/always_first_in_line_at_applebees/kf6miib/

What gets me is that nothing about his ribbon rack is intimidating. He's trying to scream "look at the 20 year-old that can run a mile instead of the doughy 60 year-old in front of you" in the most painfully desperate way he can, but the most war-adjacent thing in his ribbons is the Combat Action Ribbon. That's a bog standard ribbon given to everyone on a ship that someone shoots at. His reservist ribbon shows 30 years of service so he wasn't even in the real Navy, let alone the real military. One weekend a month he pretended to be, taking a two week pleasure cruise every year to make sure he knew what a ship looks like in case all the actual sailors die. His air crew badge means he was probably like an aircraft mechanic or electronics guy.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 39 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Litterally participation trophies.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Every single one. If you dressed a dog in a uniform for 30 years and it didn't get a DUI, it would have the same exact ribbons.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'd rather see a picture of a dog in a lil sailor suit bahaha

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[–] M68040@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago

It’s surprising how relatively recent these sorts of developments are.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So vicious was this war propaganda that even God was brought into it. With few exceptions our clergymen joined in the clamor to kill, kill, kill. To kill the Germans. God is on our side . . . it is His will that the Germans be killed. And in Germany, the good pastors called upon the Germans to kill the allies ... to please the same God.

And people today pray to Jesus to save them from the Mexicans; the same Mexicans who pray to Jesus to protect them in their journey across the border.

(I'm not comparing Mexicans to American Nazis or German Nazis, just pointing out that people are praying to Jesus against people who are supposed to be on their same side)

[–] WaterBowlSlime@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Mexicans also pray to Padre Toribio and La Virgen de Guadalupe. I wonder if there's American counterparts - a patron saint of murdering immigrants and another for unifying colonizers lol

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago

It true i will do disgusting things for a bottle cap with a smiley face super-glued to a safety pin.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago

nerd i think you will find that Napoleon adopted and modified a medal regime that had begun in the Ancien Regime. ultimately from the late medieval secular 'knightly orders' that were used to lube up nobility for cooperation in military campaigns like this one you inducted Charles de Floofypants & he'd feel obliged to go die in a ditch under the Sultan's steel

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 60 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It infuriates me when you see Westerners laughing at pictures of Soviet, DPRK, and other soldiers that wear the whole medal and implying that most of them are vanity awards and participation trophies. Meanwhile American troops wear stacks of participation trophies and "congrats on not getting 5 DUIs" medals, but they only show a slice of ribbon so it's classy and badass. Some dude played soldier for 30 years ends up looking like he fought from Moscow to Berlin singlehandedly

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago

Most of the DPRK soldiers with a ton of medals are usually old so they likely experienced the the Korean War. These days you see any 40-50 year old with a chest full of medals walking around Dairy Queen asking for a veteran discount

[–] TechnoUnionTypeBeat@hexbear.net 52 points 9 months ago

These types of chuds are always funny but always make me nervous

Like I know the neck knife and the open carry he's probably got going on are posturing, I get it

But I always feel like the kind of people who do this absolutely would immediately escalate to deadly force in any minor disagreement. I'm thinking of that white chud in Florida who killed a black man because they had an argument over a parking spot and the cracker got lightly shoved

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 43 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

When that job you had 20 years ago is your whole personality

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 42 points 9 months ago (4 children)

The weird square plastic necklace with the crescent below it is a punch dagger - you hold the handle in your fist and the blade pokes out forward so you can stab while you jab.

Sir your pit reservation is ready pit

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 40 points 9 months ago (2 children)

In a civilized society, it's very important that everyone always carry the tools to quickly and easily murder as many people around them as possible.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

I hope they bought it from some dodgy retailer and that it's radioactive.

I don't even care anymore, these people aren't going to change; their echo chamber is literally a trailer park.

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago

always stay strapped for antifas, shipmate. they're everywhere and you never know.

[–] TheCaconym@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

That's the first thing someone trying to hurt them would go for, it's almost like a "placed here for your convenience stabbing me" sign

It's genuinely easier to grab for someone standing in front of them than it is for them

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[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago (5 children)

The specific knife is the Gerber Ghostrike 30-001007. Love the posturing military lingo in the promo video (the "operators" who buy this will definitely "keep a low visual profile" as they open carry in a Denny's)

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[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don’t understand suburban biker culture. Like you Guys aren’t thugs or gangsters because you hate those people. You guys don’t roughhouse at the bar because that’s uncivil and you don’t want someone recognizing you as Officer Neely from the local precinct. What the fuck is this LARP? At least airsoft players don’t act hard and try to put on a show of intimidation outside of their games.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This one (1) neat trick allows you to look strong and masculine without having to do any exercise whatsoever. From the makers of Golf: the sport where you drive a little cart around drunk and only have to stand for two minutes at a time.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

At least golfers don’t pretend to be world class athletes or anything. Like suburban biker gangs are the equivalent to Italians who’ve never been involved with the mafia sitting around a dark basement wearing suits and doing initiation rituals

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[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 39 points 9 months ago

As a herpetologist, I can say with some authority that this turtle is clearly in distress and someone should really get them out of that disgusting bootlicker costume. This is not okay, folks!

[–] Ideology@hexbear.net 35 points 9 months ago

Sir, this is an Applebee's

[–] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 35 points 9 months ago

This dude was a Senior Chief on Aircrew. Not some badass operator death squad hardened war criminal, but some dude who sat in the back of an airplane fiddling knobs for 20 years. What a loser

[–] Vampire@hexbear.net 32 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I don't understand the rebel-bootlicker superposition in the USA's right

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[–] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 29 points 9 months ago
[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 27 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That guy looks like he could be funny in that he's just acting in a costume. Like how absurd is it to be glaring at a camera while you're in a restaurant with all your shiny things on? Like he should be cracking up a second later.

The alternative, of course, is an absolute fucking weirdo

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[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 27 points 9 months ago
[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

"Against all enemies, foreign and domestic"

The dude waiting for the excuse to shoot someone.

[–] Barabas@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He should really get a better barber, looks like an onion.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

Don't be mean, he's clearly a fan of the green onion alien from gantz.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Ok i looked at this way longer than i should and i still don't know if that's AI pic or there is some dude out there really looking like AI pic.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago

I feel like AI wouldn't add the punch knife. You need to psychologically be this guy to feel insecure enough to wear a punch knife as a necklace. An algorithm can't replicate the desperation required to decide to put it on the outside of his vest so that antifas would see and be scared of battle grandpa. Only the no-mouth-must-scream AI hurts inside enough to think that would look cool.

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[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 24 points 9 months ago

the neck knife finishes the look

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago

I like the Oakley tanline.

[–] JamesJonathanSandwichTheFourth@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This looks AI generated to me lmao so insane

[–] JamesJonathanSandwichTheFourth@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Like there’s no way this guy is real right??

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

These guys exist in droves unfortunately

[–] ziggurter@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago

Honestly not sure this guy is a real patriot. Needs a few more U.S. flags.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

I THINK COOLSVILLE SUCKS

[–] GarfGirl@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago
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