"The democrats don't like me. They don't like Trump! I get no respect. None! Unfair! So - here's a story. Lotsa people don't know this but it was me - Trump - who gave Jacob Cohen his name. He went to the Catskill Mountains. Lots of clubs in the Catskills. But he only played one. One! And it was so far out - his act was only reviewed in Field & Stream."

"So I said 'Jacob, you have a great act (Great!) but Jacob Cohen is very Hollywood so too Hollywood. Hollywood is good. Very good. But too Hollywood is very bad. Names are important.' And they are! He was a smart man. So he listened to me. Trump sounds like money - money-money-money-money. Names are important. I gave him a name I used once. As a phony name for a blind date. Great date. And later too."

"The girl was gorgeous. Big hips. And she had real big... but that's a different story. This story is this story. I said - 'Your name is Rodney Dangerfield.' "

[–] Lucien@hexbear.net 9 points 7 months ago

Please clap

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Fuck I hate these “news” talk shows. Sometimes I see a video with “breaking news” that I think will be reporting on what’s happening with trump and nope - it’s some annoying, grating voice doing the tucker Carlson “every sentence is a question” inflection trying to be snarky and Totally Not Angry. Fucking brain rot entertainment

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

are they just trying to make new acronyms all the time just to rile people up? CRT, DEI, you know

theyre gonna be horrified when they learn what HRT is

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 7 points 7 months ago

Hillary Rodham Tlinton

[–] JayTwo@hexbear.net 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

They easily could have done
Cash
Rules
Everything
Around
MAGA

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's anti-MSNBC-ish but I like...

Trump
Really only
Understands
Money
Promptly

Imagine if they had used that. Libs would be screaming that the CEO needs to be fired immediately because this is deadly serious and not a time for jokes.

[–] JayTwo@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Well yeah comparing him to Wu-Tang was a bad idea from the start, agreed, lol.

Libs confuse me sometimes like when they thought referring to him as 45 instead of Trump would somehow rob him of semantic power or something. Yeah now he's being compared to a couple iconic firearm cartridges along with the handguns that chambered them. So much better.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago

She worked with John Heilemann who is another uber-lib grifter. He loves Wu-Tang and he's made that part of his branding. I made the mistake of googling...

Another guy on the news with the Wu in the background.😎 : wutang

Couple of things: not another guy on the news. That's John Heilemann, who is basically a rock star political journalist. This guy is currently the co-host of a political show on Showtime, and co-wrote one of the defining books about the 2008 presidential campaign... [fawning continues]

I'm stealing "rock star political journalist". It would never have occurred to me to use something like that in a political parody.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 4 points 7 months ago

Oops. I forgot to say this...

45

It might already be passé for libs now but they loved calling him "the former guy" or even TFG for short. I thought it was funny that if they're going to use TFG - that fucking guy was right there.

[–] Midnight1938@reddthat.com 6 points 7 months ago

Pray i dont alter it further

[–] quandary_enjoyer@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

screw you guys someone has to buy it to check the stats

[...]

this only has E faith scaling?!

[–] roux@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm willing to start a gofundme to raise the funds to buy a Trump Bible but only if every instance of "Jesus" is replaced with "The Don" in the New Testament.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Only if it still has the King James wording. I want to read The Don saying words like "verily" and shit

[–] roux@hexbear.net 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I mean it's gotta be the King James version, right?

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 1 points 7 months ago

There are couple more modern ones floating around. I went to a church for a funeral a couple years ago and the passages were in a more modern style

[–] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago

I prefer creatine arm-R

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 3 points 7 months ago

Imagine spending your life doing this garbage