this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Love it when a tradcath cryptofascist gets to dialogue with a tradcath fascist about Wookiepedia-level religious trivia

I'd link but I think it's deleted

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 68 points 4 months ago (7 children)

God the Jesus fandom is so utterly up it's own ass. What is this even about, Vatican 2 broke their spellcasting system so now they can't eat Jesus?

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 53 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Good person: idk I just try to be nice to people and do onto others blob-no-thoughts

Ex-Manhattan socialite who broke her brain doing too much coke: SO WE HAVE TO EAT JESUS morshupls

[–] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 28 points 4 months ago (4 children)

WE HAVE TO EAT JESUS

This is just like delicious in dungeon!

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[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 38 points 4 months ago

Yeah it's like Catholic ultraleftism: I'm the only smart one, everyone else is a dummy, so that's why Jesus closed the door for all of us to press the Eucharist button.

[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

Catholicism 5th edition has been very controversial for being too simple and accessible to wide audiences, elitist players want to go back to 3.5

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[–] Leon_Frotsky@hexbear.net 59 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

So glad I got the autism that makes me good at maths and map games instead of the catholicism lore autism

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Mfw the map game is Crusader Kings kobeni-sweat

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[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

I think I got both but at least I'm not a tradcath.

[–] pumpchilienthusiast@hexbear.net 52 points 4 months ago (1 children)

tfw you realize religious trivia is all neurodivergent folks could obsess and argue over until very very recently and that the council of Nicaea was essentially a posting war

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 37 points 4 months ago

This is peak theory tbh, just imagining Nicea as being the first tradcath struggle session

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 51 points 4 months ago (6 children)

I honestly have more respect for people who get deep into warhammer lore than this weird catholic nerd shit

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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

god be like: my son/daughter, you have not followed the letter of the law and thus will sit in hell for one million years. fucking nerds stg

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 48 points 4 months ago (3 children)

It's even worse, they're saying that even if you were to follow the letter of the law, you're doomed to hell anyway because all the sacraments are invalid since the Church itself went too far by letting women do the readings in Mass or whatever.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago

Literal 16th century theology hours who up

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[–] regul@hexbear.net 40 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Many Roman Catholics (not even "sedes" or "trads") receive communion in Byzantine parishes for this reason

They do not.

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[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago (5 children)

it's amazing that people have made up such convoluted complexity applied to nothing. Like, it's all entirely made up. It's nonsense built atop a foundation of nonsense.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)

"So anyway, it's best to pick Charmander as your starter because..."

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

"...and that's how Ash picking Pikachu started the second Pokecclesiastes Schism."

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[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago

Papists and incoherent popery, name a better duo

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[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wait till they find out about the theology of Pelagius the Wise. Its not a story the Catholics would tell you...

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The myths of Sheogorath are all true, even the lies. Especially the lies.

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[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago (17 children)

Religion is so fuckinv stupid idk how anyone can take even the smallest bit of this shit seriously. I literally cannot fathom a person being a Christian with the knowledge that there's like 57 different fucking flavors of christianity. How the fuck do you know you got the real one? You don't, dummy. Sorry the real true church of god is some splinter from some catholic heresy that only exists in the mountains of Ethiopia or some shit

And then you've got stuff like the split between Jews and Samaritans (ignoring all the differences between Jews of varying orthodoxy) with the Samaritans believing they follow the REAL Torah

Every theological debate i've ever seen or witnessed just comes off as people masturbating over fan fiction

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

the real true church of god is some splinter from some catholic heresy that only exists in the mountains of Ethiopia

The ethiopian christians claim to be holding the real ark of covenant

[–] naom3@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I literally cannot fathom a person being a Christian with the knowledge that there's like 57 different fucking flavors of christianity.

I mean, to be fair, we are communists ourselves…

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[–] somename@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

Isn’t the whole point of being Catholic that it’s not your job or right to debate this stuff? Stop being Protestant! Go to mass! Listen to what you’re told!

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The tradcaths keep accidentally inventing Protestantism because they think the papacy is too woke and soy

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago

It's never not gonna be funny to me. I wish them a very happy Another 30 Years War on each other. Start by throwing themselves out a window.

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

That’s the whole point of christianity in general. Essentially, the bible is the done deal. Priests exist to guide people towards the book. But you’re supposed to have faith that it’s all real and makes sense even if you don’t understand it. Questioning the validity of x miracle or y sacrament is essentially the equivalent of lucifer demanding equality with God or Eve wanting all knowledge

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[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Adam Friedland really dodged a bullet huh

[–] coeliacmccarthy@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago

dodged a bullet like the diarrhea dodged being trapped in his white linen pants

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[–] SpanishSpaceAgency@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

jesse-wtf

I was raised catholic and I can't parse this.

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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago

somehow less interesting and less spiritually relevant to life than a debate between two dorks about Warhammer 40k deep lore.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago

The lady from season 3 of Succession wants us all to know we killed God with heresy?

[–] whodoctor11@lemmy.ml 28 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The worst thing is that they are talking a lot of heretical ultraconservative nonsense. Lay people have no say in what is or is not an effective sacrament. I hope all these "trads" admit once and for all that they are actually Protestants. Besides, if they are such traditionalists, the Apostle Paul writes that women have no voice in these matters: they can't even be conservative right.

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[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 26 points 4 months ago

My decision to never listen to a single second of Red Scare validated once again

[–] buh@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Crackers discussing crackers

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[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It’s like those middle schoolers who roleplay as vampires in the middle of class

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[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Me in 5th grade talking about Warhammer lore with my friends at recess

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[–] coeliacmccarthy@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

the western left is strong

[–] caesarsushi404@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Dasha is a right-wing freak these days, turns out those brain worms are contagious

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[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

What I see when Marxists talk about Hegel

[–] betelgeuse@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

The riverbeds will run red with the blood of the saints and the holy.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

They should get into cool special interests like X-Men, Final Fantasy, Survivor, Digimon, Pro Wrestling

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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