thats not a table thats a roomba???? okay this rules
"teaching my roomba how to attract women, day 3: knives and female ejaculation"
this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I want a Cast Away remake where Wilson is a roomba pickup artist with a knife.
incel roomba has some legs (metaphorically)
Giving roombas knives is good to do
He's got a book on how to find the g-spot so he's trying!
they really are weirdos
Moosehead and a knife, that's Dartmouth in a nutshell.
Sorry, there's no truck in the picture and the fact that they're Canadian means they must report for nationalized forced transition to being an e-catgirl. I don't make the rules.
Deeply symbolic knife placement
moosehead sucks, that tacticool knife isn't used for anything other than opening letters, absolute noob for using a scope and absolute wuss for using a lame-ass trigger and an absolute poser for using a plastic rifle WHERE's THE WOOD!
No wonder why he's showing off a block of silver instead of the real cool cat's block of gold BECAUSE HE'S A 2ND PLACE BETO MALE
edit: he gets a plus 1 for having whatever flowery shit's behind the grip of the rifle. Real cool cats love flowers
I was working on a job site and one of the supers was a Serbian dude. We got along great and he invited me over to hangout and drink. He said he's got the best, the Moseiä. I said damn, hell yeah I'll try the Moseiä. Get over to his place and it was Moosehead. (Womp womp). But we shot the shit drank Moosehead and watched Dream Theatre concerts. Cool guy. He called America the world's largest open air prison. And called American soldiers murderers.
flexing with $300 worth of silver
I want to remake this picture but with like, a super soaker and one of those gold burger king pokemon cards
that goes hard as fuck do it
i lost my burger king card years ago 
Hell yeah dude
I am picturing the effort put into set-dressing and posing by this man as he took this photo. The delicate balancing of the gun, the careful perspective on the knife-wielding porno-vacuum, selecting the right room in the suburban McMansion with the faux-wood flooring as a backdrop (no effeminate carpet here!), the careful coordination of the olive drab canvas watchstrap with the olive drab plastic gun and its canvas strap, a very carefully placed weight on the edge of frame (must be careful not to dent the extremely fragile faux-wood flooring), and the overwrought placement of a gold bar peering out of the gun like it’s a phone propped up for a video call.
But most of all: the overly-exaggerated tension in the left hand furiously clutching an empty bottle of mid-range mass-market Canadian larger favoured by accountants and middle managers in the 1990s. Moosehead: the Heineken of the north, at least according to your dad. There’s so much detail, so much going on, it’s very hard to pick a favourite.
Caption: "Pregaming for the werewolf hunter orgy"
Is this an orgy between werewolves who also hunt recreationally or do these guys get one last bust in before sallying out to get owned by furries?
I was assuming the latter but don't object to a more expansive definition.
Imagine being a based alpha who needs to read a book to learn how to make women ejaculate
Homie is drinking Moosehead. No way he is even pretending to be an alpha.
Remember the more furiously you perform your gender for an audience, the more secure you are with it
1 of three types of trans men
Where's the beans? 