To drive impactful posting, we need to leverage cross-functional synergies and circle back on our core competencies. By optimizing our value-added processes and maximizing ROI through holistic engagement strategies, we can seamlessly align our KPIs with the overarching vision. Let’s drill down and pivot as necessary to ensure we’re proactively addressing struggle sessions and facilitating brainworm elimination. It’s all about creating a dynamic ecosystem where innovation can flourish here at Hexbear.
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
40 points (100.0% liked)
chapotraphouse
13538 readers
970 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
If you aren't using Agile Posting Methodology that implements Lean Canvas Emoji Use are you even trying?
So you drive a BMW then.
Drive? That's too inefficient. I have the car careen through the streets with minimal input from me
Got be multi tasking constantly by keeping abreast of all the most recent business trends aka constantly looking at your phone while driving.
Similar to my all time favorite onion headline "scientists confirm cigarettes ok for you if you're drinking"
I've never smoked and I don't drink and I still find the need to quote that one at least a few times a week.
As a High Powered Business Professional, I aim to Synergize all aspects of my life, like when I fired all my bloodboys when I bought my first college football team.
Delivering synergistic business solutions are an integral part of my long term growth strategy
As a high-powered business professional, I have delegated my harassment and bullying to a set of middle managers who all have exactly one direct report shared between them and think they're all above each other in the informal heirarchy I maintain in my head.
Who has time to harass their own employees these days?
As a high powered business individual, I am constantly innovating! Just recently I innovated the application fee for employment! In the 21st century us businessmen are spoiled for choice for any opening we begrudgingly make, but the application fee is a true test of loyalty. Do you want the job so much that you will pay for it? It’s going to start at a measly $100, but I’m sure it will really test candidate loyalty and they’ll be happy to fork over the cash!
As a High Powered Business Professional I charge a convenience fee for my surcharge on the submission fee
"As a high powered busi... ARFGHGH" (vomiting up my stomach, intestines and spine because I just can't do it.)
As a high powered business individual, I do high-impact Speed Yoga just like in all the promotional materials you can find in every health and wellness themed brochure everywhere for the past 20 years. Any talk about the rest periods between the stretches being what is supposed to actually be the source of health benefits is loser talk. 
As a high powered business individual, I consider my sycophantic socializing activities to be work, and therefore I am constantly working. What's your excuse?
I expense my P90X class because it is a requirement for me to deliver my promised value propasition
As a High Powered Business Professional, I have always been someone who does things my own way. Not just when it comes to using data to build NBA teams, but also when it comes to things away from the court, like cars.
Like the time I was late for my flight and parked my rental car at the terminal then tossed my keys to the baggage guy and gave him $50 to bring the car back to Hertz.
Or the time I was driving to the NCAA tournament in a frenzy to catch a tip-off and created my own left lane to beat the traffic.
Or another time when I had to rush to the airport so I called a team travel attendant to let them know I had left my bag back in my hotel. The attendant arrived and got the bellhop to let them in. My bag was in the room. So were my clothes and toiletries, scattered across the counters and floor.
spoiler
https://www.theringer.com/nba/2022/10/17/23408539/daryl-morey-philadelphia-76ers-joel-embiid
As a High Powered Business Professional the only activity worthy of my time is throwing money at the serfs to do all my work for me
As a High Powered Business Professional the world wasn't ready for my idea of an app based ass wiping service.
The world confused it with my ass-based app wiping service, which uses two-factor buttprint authentication to install Crowdstrike updates.
app based ass wiping service
How about an ass based app wiping service? 
EDIT: FUCK! Someone beat me to posting that. 
Understandable honesty. As a High Powered Business Professional I don't have time to wipe my doodoo ass. I just let the crust build up a protective layer
As a High Powered Business Professional I'm constantly on the lookout for prospective investors for my innovative Tinder But For Dogs project