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We don't have companies called Militech or anything, we have companies named shit like Poob. Palantir is the only suitably evil sounding company

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[-] dessalines@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 hours ago

Facebook is kind of chilling when you think about it as a global surveillance corporation collecting faces and watching what those faces are doing. They've got your face in the book, and they're watching you, so take care.

Microsoft or northrop grumman isn't any less scary than weyland-utani (alien), or Umbrella (resident evil).

Apple and Google ya tho, I agree.

[-] HelltakerHomosexual@hexbear.net 6 points 19 hours ago

Jeff Bezos, and Amazon actually sound kinda evil

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago

Blackwater was appropriately unsettling. Constellis just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[-] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

That's fine, just give them 6 months to do another "oopsie" warcrime and they'll rebrand to something even worse.

[-] axont@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Cyberpunk companies are named like the Bloodweb Syndicate and their company propaganda is dudes in LED face helmets holding big science guns. It rules. Like I could see myself on a hover cycle raiding their HQ with all my half-robot underclass buds.

Real life evil companies make propaganda in flat pastel colors and make social media posts like "Erm, did someone say coffee?" We live in daycare center aesthetics.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

Daycare centre aesthetics really fucking nails it. I also really hate how people have internalized and regurgitate patronizing HR speak as if real people should ever say 'touch base'.

[-] SSJ3Marx@hexbear.net 5 points 20 hours ago

Same thing with how normalized a bunch of therapy speak has become, but of course that has the additional wrinkle of everyone misusing it because they're not licensed therapists.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Old and busted: bateman-ontological "We just injected you with the Necrosis nanovirus. In exactly twenty-four hours you will be a corpse... that is unless of course you can do a job for us..."

New and bazinga: huey-lewis "By purchasing a license to use our proprietary product, you agree to accept cookies and promotional notifications. Your likeness and all content you produce is solely owned by us..."

[-] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 31 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Raytheon sounds pretty evil. BlackRock as well.

[-] underisk@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

Palantir. Literally an evil wizard orb.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Anduril. Flame of the west. Spankbank fantasy of every white supremacist techbro that wants to murder nonwhites through drone proxies.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Ackshually the palantir were created by Feanor in the first age and were just kinda like telephones. The orbs themselves are neutral leaning towards good, it's just evil wizards got 2 of the last like 4 that are around.

[-] underisk@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

ill give you credit for having at least read some of the silmarillion (or maybe watched that amazon show? do they cover that?), but know this is done begrudgingly and I do not condone this behavior

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

I am a massive Tolkien nerd. Can't stand fantasy otherwise

[-] BobDole@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

Raytheon sounds pretty evil

Probably why they rebranded to RTX after the recent merger.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

RTX OFF commercial-district

RTX ON posadist-nuke

[-] Lussy@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

I dunno, Elon Musk sounds exactly like the type of name used for a corporate villain in a dystopian novel.

[-] Sinister@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

His mom looks like straight out of the capitol district.

[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Evil names peaked at "Rupert Murdoch"

[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Fiction: Damien Knight, an enigma who is suspected to be a former US black ops soldier whose records were erased in the Crash, bought out a controlling stake in ARES MACROTECHNOLOGY with assistance from the dragon president Dunkelzahn.

Reality: An inbred south african apartheid failson bought out the right to be called technoking.

[-] SSJ3Marx@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Dunkelzahn (circa 13,000 BC – August 9, 2057) was a Western Great Dragon. He was the 7th President of the UCAS elected, during the UCAS Special Presidential Election of 2057, but was assassinated on the night of his inauguration, later believed to be a self-sacrifice ritual to prevent the Horrors from crossing over into the Sixth World early. The policy led by his successor Kyle Haeffner can still be considered as marked by Dunkelzahn's ambitions to fight racism, exclusion and poverty and renew UCAS international relations.

the bit about fighting racism, exclusion and poverty made me actually laugh out loud when I read it. Even in the cyberpunk future with elves and orcs libs talk like libs I guess.

[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

There's a chance it was satire, because they never did obvious things like disband the cyberpunk-fantasy version of the KKK, but I'm a lot more likely to just say the authors were all libs.

[-] Sinister@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

PRESIDENT KYLE SIR!

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Tír Tairngire is where Shadowrun's wine liberals go to congratulate themselves on being (re)born correctly and consequently being superior to everyone else.

libbing-out 🍷clink🍷maybe-later-honey

[-] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Remove the context(or maybe don't) and 'Elon Musk' is a perfect cyberpunk baddie name, 'Elon' sounds exotic and even futuristic to the western ear(tbh it used to remind me of the 'Eloi' from The Time Machine when I'd just heard the name and didn't know much about him), and Musk implies he's a no-good stinky doo-doo head

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

I used to briefly entertain the in-joke about corpo executives in Shadowrun LARPing as Shadowrunners or selling the Shadowrun experience to New Exciting Retail Product seeking consumers as part of his schemes, but now we've already had my-hero using a JC Denton avatar and claiming he's a cool subversive rebel while being the government-funded richest man in the world. jesse-wtf

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 day ago

they learned that astro-turfing and pleasant titles are more effective than naming themselves something like: Evil Corp LLC.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

I see all lowercase corporate names with Memphis cartoon shit corporate-art as the new evil.

I'd arguably trust Evil Corp LLC more.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 hours ago

I’d arguably trust Evil Corp LLC more.

i bet that's why palantir does well.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

I blame Steve Jobs for the cringe aesthetics, such as the lower case quirky names for everything and the "minimalist" and New Memphis cringe engineering and visuals corporate-art

Sure, there's nostalgia-baiting attempts by corpos to churn out the le neon and the le razorgirl waifus in the treats, but they feel very insincere and stripped of meaning outside of blue curtain spankbank self indulgence.

[-] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 1 day ago

Did Jobs do the quirky names or was he just an iThing guy?

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

His also-ran imitators certainly did.

[-] Teekeeus@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Boeing sounds silly, goldman sachs sounds boring, meta just sounds stupid...

[-] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

For real. Also: I was promised tons of cool dangerous unregulated tech to go along with it! Can't get a machine gun rocket launcher arm prosthetic but at least you can purchase a the license to a jpeg of one with dumb little speaker which is spying on you to sell your data. Shit blows.

this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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