this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] booty@hexbear.net 77 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sorry, Noah, but that's just not realistic. The adults in the room are talking, and we've decided that only a six state solution is acceptable. A hexagonal coalition of ursine states. In the very center where they all meet will be a hexagonal table where the hexbear council meets.

[–] hotwarioinyourarea@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Only six? Are you really thinking about this seriously? 51 States. Imagine it. We will call it New Burgerland and impose McNugget law.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I support a 3 state solution:

  • Palestine
  • New Palestine
  • Democratic People's Republic of Palestine
[–] HerbalGamer@lemm.ee 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

the Palestinian Union, if you will.

[–] Duckef@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The United States of Palestine might get USA backing

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[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 58 points 1 year ago (4 children)

But Noah, why would having three Palestines be better than just one Palestine?

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If number go up is good for capitalism, it must be good for international diplomacy.

palestine-heart stonks-up PALESTINES GO UP

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago

A Palestine for every Palestinian and each a seat on the UNSC!

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[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 55 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Ethnic cleansing is off the table

The way that's framed makes it sound like a painstaking weighed decision that pains the liberal making it. sus-soviet

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well does he consider the colonists returning to Europe to be a form of ethnic cleansing?

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[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The idea that it would be on the table is freak-brained and speaks to the Zeitgeist in ways that the author surely didn't intend. The same way you don't have to mention inventing a time machine to go back and kill Hitler probably isn't going to be the main focus, you don't have to mention that ethnic cleansing isn't a good solution.

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[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People get paid to write this shit holy fuck

[–] BrownMinusBlue@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 1 year ago

The main problem is not them lying and being paid to lie, it's that they actually believe this crap. Catching a liar is easier than overturning someone's ideologie.

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Four states that’s my final offer take it or leave it

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[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)
[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

spoilerEven his lapel is balkanized


[–] RION@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I'm putting together a crew."

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

More like: "I'm taking apart a crew"

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[–] Owl@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Counter proposal - zero state solution anarchy

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Counter-counter proposal: -1 state solution.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

counter-counter-counter proposal: infinite state solution. soypoint-1 sovereign citizens rejoice soypoint-2

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[–] Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

And so it begins

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[–] BoxedFenders@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I like how the subhead reiterates that "ethnic cleansing is off the table" as if it was once a reasonable option to consider.

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[–] Huldra@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

YOU CANT HAVE A FUCKING CONTIGUOUS STATE OF PALESTINE WITHOUT ETHNICALLY CLEANSING THE SETTLERS.

edit: AND IF YOU'RE FUCKING MIXING UP PALESTINIANS AND ISRAELIS ANYWAYS THEN DOING ANYTHING BUT A SINGLE STATE IS JUST MAPFUCKER HUBRIS.

[–] Nagarjuna@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Can't you just subject them to Palestinian law same as everyone else?

[–] WayeeCool@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There are no longer Israeli and it returns to them being Palestinian Jews. The way it was before Israel was invented. A national identity rather than the settler colonial ethno-state they have spent the better part of the last century trying to create.

[–] Huldra@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

The settlements are still built as an explicit plan to make a Palestinian state impossible in practical terms, their status as a settler and their entire current lives are a deliberate act of ethnic cleansing against Palestinians.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What would the third state even be?

They're not like ice cream, you can't swirl nations!

I assume he means separating Gaza and the West Bank into separate states but that really isn’t the source of the problem

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[–] edge@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

non-contiguous states just don't work

You're gonna need a little more than three then.

[–] Huldra@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

If you're gonna end up with a mix of Palestinians and Israeli settles within the same borders anyways, then thats literally just the single state solution.

Any further amount of states beyond that in this scenario is just an act of fetishistic masturbation on the part of these op-ed mapfucker freaks, finally reaching climax with the thought that they didn't miss out on all the fun due to being born after all the big wars.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fuck it, everyone gets their own state

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

Ask me about my zero-state solution.

[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thank goodness ethnic cleansing is off the table. Whew.

[–] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Palestine and Palestane

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

If borders don't work, make it one state! No border, not problem.

[–] TheCaconym@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago
[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One state for Palestine

Pour one state out for the homies we used to know

One state for the fellas

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[–] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Choosing the right third is crucial for the vibe

[–] axont@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

we're gonna let Costa Rica annex the golan heights

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

lol is this that "noahpinion" dumbass

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[–] MerryChristmas@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Just keep adding states until you've gone full sovereign citizen.

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't there defacto three states? "Israel", Fatah controlled West Bank and Hamas controlled Gaza

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[–] Barabas@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

How dare he steal Fehlingers bit.

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