i would like to turn off the part of my brain responsible for stress, thank you
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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Didn't have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they're neat and they taste good.
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Wait, are peaches some sort of nomme de guere???
My fiancΓ©e didn't like the name "girl bag" for my balls 
probably counts as dysphoria
I can not for the life of me get a word or phrase for them I don't hate
Maybe I just hate them tbh
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Maybe I just hate them tbh
pawbably dat *hugggies*
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Yea it is, tbh was just thinking earlier about when I'd be able to get an orchi and if I'll be able to talk my parents into letting me put it on their insurance before I get booted from it (a while from now, not even out atm)
oof just turned someone else's post into my dysphoria post, should have just vbented earlier. whatever ig.
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No worries! Feel free to vent all you want
I've been really wanting an orchi lately too
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Thank you for understanding 
Its the only surgery I know I want ~~/fucking need~~, won't be for ages though.. at least from what I feel like I've heard its not terribly expensive as far as that kind of thing goes. Hopefully I guess.. spoiler dysphoria but god they are actually so fucking disgusting I hate it. Kinda the least of my worries atm too which sucks. Guess being trans just is that way though. :::
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I'm on disability, I need to figure out what, if anything, I can get my shitty privatized state medicaid plan to pay for. God I wish I had gotten off my ass and started the process earlier. Who knows how long social security and medicaid are gonna be around.
They are kinda gross. They get in the way too. M
::: spoiler cw sex/kink
I got to use my biggest toy today, and it felt amazing, its like a signal whip but its also a cat o' 9. And i took it so wellll my domme said i did so goooooood 
I like how the story started to play out in 
Adventure 2 but gameplay wise I feel it started to enter the era of "do all these cool tricks as we intended to get a perfect score" compared to adventure 1 which was just about speed. Like your score is still heavily tied to your speed but each little section if you break it down is just tight action sequences you have to nail in between the next action sequence... I miss the free form style of Adventure 1 so much
if I had my little way I'd eat peaches every day.
almost 4 weeks post-ffs
Most of the swelling is down. I'm very slowly regaining feeling in the areas that were previously numb. It feels like when novocaine wears off, and the pins and needles sensation is most mild except this sensation is extended over several... um... I hope just weeks. No pain in my lips or chin or inside mouth or it's low-level enough where I can ignore it. There's mild pain on my scalp primarily along the sutures. They're still sore to the touch so I'm trying to sleep on my back which is very unnatural to me. Besides the sleep deprivation, I'm pretty much back to pre-surgery energy levels and have honestly been for a week already. I'm fighting the urge to go out and be active when I should still be resting.
I've started messages and silicone strips for the only visible scar and these treatments have already had effect. Minoxidil for the transplanted hair and obviously it hasn't been long enough usage to have visible hair regrowth but it has slowed down shock loss.
Now that the swelling is down and my vision is back, I can look in the mirror and appreciate the results. And yeah. The struggle was worth it. I love the changes, looking into a mirror and seeing my face now is euphoria-inducing. I dunno think I'm kinda hot now too... I can't wait until the hair grows back and the healing process is fully complete. I'll be unstoppable 
I found myself back to full power really at 2 month mark. Itβs such a life changing surgery.
After a month itβs still that bad? Wow, thatβs brutal.
Full recovery is 12 months, mostly for remaining swelling and hair regrowth for the last 6 months. Honestly the worst part is the first 3 days. Afterwards it gets a little bit better every day. I feel amazing compared to 2 weeks ago
Correction: Itβs slightly less brutal.
Thinking of getting back into Dead State. It's a spiritual sequel to Fallout 1 and 2 (and Tactics now that I have recently replayed that). It's a turn based squad RPG set in a zombie apocalypse. It's one of the few games that I feel properly balances combat against humans versus combat against zombies, exploring and looting, while managing a base, with speech checks and dialogue.
I finished it a few years ago but I messed up and caused some people to die and didn't get the best ending with a couple of others. I also picked a kind of boring ending where the surviving military helps you evacuate, in exchange for your character being drafted as a commander of their forces.
What I really like is you have to balance the personalities and factions in your base. You can't please everyone as different factions are diametrically opposed. But you can call in favors and persuade people to soften the blow. The other thing is you also manage your individual relationship with other survivors, but without any spoilers some survivors secretly (or openly) are real pieces of shit, so you're better off antagonizing them and bringing them into line (even killing or exiling them), instead of placating or appeasing them, because if you do the later messed up stuff can happen between them and other survivors. Likewise other survivors who seem like dicks or useless really come out of their shells and become real team players.
The combat is basically like Fallout 2. You have action points, 2 weapon slots, you balance attacking versus moving etc. You can customize your own character to be good at melee, range or a mix of the two (my favorite as there's some neat synergies that can make you a real jack of all trades MVP in a fight, but that's balanced against not being the worlds best sniper or melee fighter).
You also go from being like Season 1 walking dead helpless survivors to unstoppable killers in customized body armour and weapons, clearing rooms with homebrewed nerve gas.
Except I can't get it to play argh. Probably a way but it's annoying how some old games are basically unplayable now on modern computers
putting "OSINT expert" on my resume because I'm terminally online
I've ordered DIY before. I'm an international supply chain and logistics expert!
putting "hella gay" on my resume because I'm on this particular corner of the internet
went thrifting
got a cute lil narwhal snap bracelet plushy and stuff for decluttering
dysphoria
made myself sad looking at dresses that don't fit and a cool pair of boots that were a size too small
also the snap plushy sounds so cute I'm envious
Still needs a name but has Curly's approval and went to the gym with me on my gay lil backpack
so cute also loving the 
design on your bag. I recently found more plushies I had in storage so the idea of one being on my wrist would just make holding them all when I sleep much easier 
also also cute kitty
eeeeeee~ cyooot
taking about assimilationists and patriarchy
I'm tired of this genre of posts I keep seeing on other sites where they'll say something like "trans people existing doesn't affect you" or like "no one is asking you to change your beliefs, just to treat others with respect" or did stuff like that.
Trans people (and queer people in general) existing IS a threat to the gender system, and so is a threat to people deeply invested in it. I DO want people to change thier deeply held beliefs. I am a radical, I hate society, I want to change it, I want to destroy patriarchy. Assimilationism is not a path to liberation.
I agree. It's like when people post the left-handed graph. Sure it's probably correct that once society stops being structurally and culturally transphobic, there will be a cap on how many trans people there are (maybe 3% of population IDK?). But if the rate of trans people was literally growing exponentially so that at some point in the future 100% of people would be trans, there would be nothing wrong with that. Society would have to adjust but we've done so for other stuff.
What's the left-handed graph? I'm not familiar.
Personally, I imagine that, in a society that was truly free of gender-based oppression and where people weren't forced into gender at birth, most people wouldn't even have a gender (though probably a few people would, like as a hobby kinda?). But I could be totally wrong on that. I think you can really only guess how many people would be trans or whatever else once so the bullshit is removed: we're too deep in the bullshit to have any real idea.
In the future I want, questions about the "true number" of trans will be about as meaningful as questions about the true number of Monster Hunter Wilds players. Like, a lot of people played it and last week it was more than this week but next week an update will drop so people will play it again.
Same. Like, if I wasn't forced into a gender from birth, and there was no social pressure to have one, then if I did still decide that I want breasts, to be on estrogen and not testosterone, then would I even be trans in anything like the way I am now? Or would that be more like getting a tattoo or piercing is now.
Like in the future i want, things would be so different, I don't think the categories we have now would even apply (for the most part, at least)
This graph. The idea being once discrimination is removed the true value is revealed and stable. People use it to compares to rates of being gay or trans.
But my problem with it is it suggests there's an upper limit on being gay or trans, which is probably true, but it would be also fine if there wasn't.
I agree we're too deep in it to have an idea. That said 3% is a number that keeps popping up in cultures around the world with more tolerant views to being transgender/trans adjacent. Like Samoa with fa'afafine.
Ahhhhh, that makes sense.
3% seems pretty low to me, but the majority of people I know are non-binary trans people, so my perspective might be skewed.
Most western studies put the trans population around 0.5-1%. I tend to think like most researchers this is lower than the true number, due to discrimination, people being closeted, eggs not allowed to crack etc.
Population statistics are weird because 3% is actually a big number in terms of how many people that is and how many people have met someone etc. Individuals are going to know more of their ingroup though. Like Jewish people are 2.4% of the US population but their immediate circles are going to be majority Jewish.
Anyways it's just a number I keep seeing come up for rates of being third gender, two-spirited or any other non western trans populations.
My vibes based feeling is if all barriers were eliminated (and society still had gender) it would be 10% like the anime Dirty Pair. But that's solely vibes.
Hmm, maybe I need to watch dirty pair, lol.
My 100% vibes based analysis is that 0.5-1% and 3% are both low. Both for the reasons you mentioned, but also because I feel like in a more open society there would be a lot more agender, non-binary (non-trinary? for societies with a 3rd gender), people doing thier own gender, etc. Like even in a society with a third gender, while that's better than just two, there is still a lot of pressure to be one of those three, yeah? In guess I feel like too many studies shit trans people still are too binary focused. But idk. Do you work in stats? You probably know more on this than me
Real!! I understand wanting to be stealth and just be cis, but tbh I can't help but think the trans people assimilating are losing some of the most important parts of being trans. It's something special, not something to hide away. 
It's something special, not something to hide away
Agree! I love being trans!
And I understand wanting to be safe and wanting to not have to deal with transphbic comments, worry about violence, etc. But assimilation isn't a real path towards that, only dismantling patriarchy is.
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"no one is asking you to change your beliefs, just to treat others with respect"
This one in particular, like no your beliefs are literally just wrong and unfounded and should be changed. The whole "treat people with respect even if you disagree" thing is such bullshit, at least in this case. You can't "respect" me if you think (whatever horrible transphobic thing you can imagine). Respect isn't not calling people slurs.
Yeah, it's just liberal bullshit.
What we actually need is a gender cultural revolution
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