this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] regul@hexbear.net 169 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Conservatives are scared all the time and that's good, actually.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 116 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Imagine admitting that you're just biologically predisposed towards fear as if that's a positive quality. "Yes I am actually a primal beast who jumps at my own shadow, like all great predators do. This means I'm the pinnacle of biology!"

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 67 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Someone mentions pronouns and their threat ganglia start wriggling

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 49 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

NOOO SOMEONE I DON'T UNDERSTAND AHHHHH gunther-fear screm-a peppino-scream

wow I'm so biologically superior

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 57 points 10 months ago (1 children)

wasn't their whole response to COVID "I refuse to live in fear"?

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 54 points 10 months ago

And yet their response to a vaccine was "OMG SO SCARY SCARY VACCINE MIGHT GIVE ME VACCINE MIND CONTROL ZOMBIEITIS bird-screm-2 "

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 33 points 10 months ago

If you believe you're an 'alpha male' (or whatever Greek letter they're on now), I guess it makes sense to believe you are the pinnacle and every deviation from you is not indicative of anything negative in you, but is instead indicative of problems the 'betas' are facing

Also that tweet lmao

  1. Conflating leftists and liberals
  2. 'My brain more fearful of brown people and that's good'
  3. Phobic is a slur
  4. Misunderstanding that 'smaller' is not 'atrophied' lmao, as one indicates a comparison between two masses without bias, and the other indicates one is undersized relative to another
[–] CarmineCatboy@hexbear.net 81 points 10 months ago

'most things - such as gays existing and mexicans in texas - trigger a fear or flight response in me, and that's normal actually'

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 67 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] blakeus12@hexbear.net 43 points 10 months ago

i love being able to get all of the disco elysium references now. what a great game

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

Fellow craniometry enjoyer I see

[–] NeelixBiederman@hexbear.net 65 points 10 months ago

cardboard-monsters <-- Me, giving my amygdala a workout

[–] buh@hexbear.net 61 points 10 months ago

No space for fear when your brain is full of theory gigachad

[–] SnAgCu@hexbear.net 55 points 10 months ago

just a bunch of clown-to-clown-communication clown-to-clown-conversation in those comments

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 53 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Without an average size reference, it’s wrong to say whether one is too large or the other is “atrophied”. Using science as a pretext for whatever story they wanted to tell.

The answer is simply that the liberal brainworm tends to move around after it consumes neurons while the conservative brainworm likes to stay in one spot.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 48 points 10 months ago

Without an average size reference, it’s wrong to say whether one is too large or the other is “atrophied”.

There's an old story I remember but can't find a good citation to, that discussed a medical investigation into SIDS during the early 20th century. In an effort to determine the cause of these dead infants, a series of autopsies was performed and compared against adults. One finding in the autopsy was the size of the pituitary gland, which was quite small in the adults but comparatively large in the infants. The investigators concluded that an over-large pituitary was contributing to the infant death and therefore recommended irradiating the necks of babies as a precautionary measure.

Of course, this did not decrease the rate of SIDS in the targeted population. Just the reverse.

The problem in the methodology was that the town in question had a number of large coal stacks that rained toxic soot on the population. Long exposure to this fallout was functionally irradiating the population. Furthermore, the adult corpses being studied were all industrial workers with unusually high exposure. The infants being studied had healthy glands, and the adults were the ones with a chronic condition.

The answer is simply that the liberal brainworm tends to move around after it consumes neurons while the conservative brainworm likes to stay in one spot.

I contend that its lead poisoning all the way down.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 50 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Latest conservative own of leftists: they are chads who know no fear

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 29 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"And they shall know no fear"

-Famous line from that thing chuds hate

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 46 points 10 months ago

Your brain scan shows you are highly susceptible to brainworms, so you are being sent to a special education camp for everyone's benefit.

soypoint-1 soypoint-2

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 45 points 10 months ago

Doing skull measurements, but inside the skull think-about-it

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 43 points 10 months ago

Pictured: The Amygdala of the common chud

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 41 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A smaller amygdala means you feel your feelings more intensely, not less.

[–] Des@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

yep this is why certain substances can both simultaneously reduce anxiety but also intensify feelings (alcohol, GHB, phenibut and other GABA-B agonists)

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[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Mama says that leftists are ornery cause they got all them teeth and no tooth brush

[–] axont@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

Cut to the professor and it's Trotsky. "You're wrong Colonel Sanders"

[–] Tunnelvision@hexbear.net 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A smaller amygdala genuinely sounds like something a right winger would see as an advantage.

[–] MattsAlt@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

Makes sense why cops and soldiers use the "I felt threatened" excuse, it's actually true. Those escaped captives actually did terrify the IDF guys into shitting their pampers

[–] Juice@hexbear.net 36 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Believes leftism is a genetic mutation

holds views that are supportive of eugenics

Hmm...

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 35 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Every right wing argument always goes back to phrenology. "The brainpan of the ham sandwich race etc."

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[–] nothx@hexbear.net 35 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Xx_Aru_xX@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You're lower than me because your skull is too smal- actually it weighs les- actually it's because your skull is longe- actually...

[–] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 34 points 10 months ago

so their point is just that conservatives are massive pussies who get scared by their own shadows?

[–] motherofmonsters@hexbear.net 31 points 10 months ago

Trans people have different gendered brains? We must rectify this by deleting them

My brain is full of fear. The world must bend to my child brain politics

[–] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] axont@hexbear.net 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm gonna trans my gender to make my brain enzymes more communist, wish me luck

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 27 points 10 months ago

This isn't the dunk on the left you think it is my dude.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago

Yeah no shit, "brave" is definitely a term I would use to describe the partisans facing certain death to resist fascism all the way to the gallows. Or the Red Army clinging on to Leningrad until the siege was broken. Or taking up arms against Americans with little to no formal military training in the jungles of Vietnam.

Or standing alone against 40,000 Japanese troops sniping them with iron sights and no food in the Manchurian winter

[–] Yurt_Owl@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago

I saw this very same thing used to say the inverse a long while back.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Queen Amygdala was my favorite character in the Star Wars prequels.

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[–] shath@hexbear.net 23 points 10 months ago

you scared buddy boy? you terrified like a child in the dark?

[–] FishLake@lemmygrad.ml 22 points 10 months ago

“Brain science is good when it reinforces my worldview. But when it’s used for the Gay Agenda I’m obligated to harass Target workers.”

[–] turgidanklebrace@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Being pants-shittingly terrified of trivial non-threats
AND SIMULTANEOUSLY
Being hyper-committed to fAcTs and LoGiC
IS NOT ALLOWED

CHOOSE, WESTERN MALE!

[–] SerLava@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

doug-point-cry Stupid fearless sexy leftists

[–] pancake@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 10 months ago

Uh... Doesn't that article spell "liberal"?

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

The wording implies that a small amygdala is a 'mutation' and 'atrophied', but a larger amygdala could equally as legitimately be described a 'mutation' and 'hypertrophied'.

Plus calling it the 'fear' organ is just silly, it's responsible for a million things.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Republicans: "Don't be such a pussy! Man up!"

Other republicans:

[–] ICEMAN@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Conservatives are Pierson's Puppeteers confirmed.

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[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

Fuck you, my fear gland is way bigger than yours. And you can't even respond to that without courageously standing up to me, thus proving my point.

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