this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 72 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How have you woke fools not considered shrinking people and cars down to 1/5 scale and then building massive 12-lane highways through city streets?

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 70 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, let's fill the streets with Micro-Machines, that will work

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 58 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Left: woke boston

  • Cars moving through city streets smoothly and without issue

Right: city we should aim for

  • Five lane traffic jam

Even their fantasies suck.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The murican rightoid loves everything ugly, despite claiming to all be supermodels, they're a tacky people with horrible taste in everything. They even love the aesthetic of busy over actually getting work done. At least traditionalists in say, Italy, are surrounded by beautiful architecture and a fondness for art, so you can't really be a conservative in Italy without appreciating these traditions....and damn does Italy have some nice cultural aspects worth conserving.

They're unironically too insecure with their masculinity to accept anything other than vomit inducing ugliness.

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[–] axont@hexbear.net 67 points 10 months ago

Copy and pasting a five lane highway into a two lane street I have a master's degree in civil engineering

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 62 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 32 points 10 months ago

Love seeing evidence of the depth of depravity of conservatives.

[–] chungusamonugs@hexbear.net 30 points 10 months ago

One thing I think is very telling about conservatives is that they witness the same symptoms of systemic failures that we do, yet the only solutions they can ever come to are that people must just be that way and need to be addressed with violence. They never stop to consider that people who are doing well and have their needs met wouldn't need to run around and tear open packages.

They love the idea of having a class of people who are below them because it gives them someone to punch down on. Utterly appalling.

[–] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

Pretty sure

H-have they even read it? It's short!

[–] buh@hexbear.net 50 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Walking? More like wokeing 😤

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 36 points 10 months ago (2 children)

chefs-kiss

In 15 minute city, wokeing in mandatory!

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

wojak-nooo: "Nooo, walking excludes the working class from our cities (But high rent doesn't, trust me.)"

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[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 47 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

me on a monster-cross bicycle rolling over the tiny car gridlock

sicko-biker

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 42 points 10 months ago

Lmao just make cars literally 5% of their actual size. Ok.

[–] mar_k@hexbear.net 38 points 10 months ago (2 children)

racist

Oh yeah my friend in Mass says every chud is calling Mayor Wu a reverse KKK member for holding an event for poc council members lmfao chuds are so fragile

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

CHUDs committed the crime, so the least they can do is take their punishment like a man.

It reminds me of this scene from little dogs on the prairie, where Hollister swears revenge on Gilroy over the idea that Gilroy might not have forgiven him over past transgressions.. I have a nearly identical conversation during Holidays when I have to deal with CHUD relatives whining about reverse-racism.

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[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It begs the question. Why do they even live or work in the city in the first place? If his holiness has deemed the city unfit for the great white man's tastes. He is free to move to the suburbs. Come to think of it. the suburbs would be great to keep the CHUDs separate from people who matter. You live over there, we live over here and we will NEVER interact. I don't bother you, you don't bother me.

[–] Ciel@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

suburbs where invented to segregate white and black people

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[–] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 34 points 10 months ago

yea, what if we just made all cars 5x smaller. then we could fit 5x as many cars into the road.

[–] Jenniferr@hexbear.net 33 points 10 months ago

What if we took the city and moved it

[–] SmokinStalin@hexbear.net 33 points 10 months ago

I also think we should all just be jarred heads piloting rc cars.

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 31 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Robert Moses would totally move buildings if it meant 7 lanes streets.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Most of the people who demand what is essentially a car mandate are always fucking slow drivers.

If they're so unimportant, so boring that they can spend the days twiddling their thumbs in constant traffic jams. Fine. But why are they unable to enjoy their boring 'hobby' without forcing EVERYONE to participate? Urbanists support walking, biking, trains, monorails, lightrails, buses, all sorts of choices in how you get around and it's all leagues more aesthetically pleasing than spending hours on end in bumper to bumper traffic because hollywood said "carz gotz duh freedumz!"

I'll admit that I like the look on the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio, but even that will lose it's appeal real fast when I'm stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 35 points 10 months ago

being a "I respect their lifestyle but they need to stop shoving it in everyone's face! 😤" guy but for driving

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

We can't keep letting these urban planners think that more lanes are gonna solve the problem.

[–] ComRed2@hexbear.net 31 points 10 months ago (3 children)

The woke left is trying to make me use my legs! frothingfash

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

OT: what's origin story of that emoji and where could I find a higher res version of it?

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Driving involves only the use of my right leg. Walking requires me to also use my left leg.

Leftist conspiracy confirmed.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Everyone in europe is a "centrist" (still right) because they occasionally use their left leg for the clutch tracks perfectly

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[–] Deadend@hexbear.net 27 points 10 months ago

Cars for ants

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 26 points 10 months ago

Turn the whole city into Hot Wheel tracks

[–] Aria@lemmygrad.ml 24 points 10 months ago

I support your vision for very small cars.

[–] ExotiqueMatter@lemmygrad.ml 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

racist mayor trying to ruin it for bluecollar folks that drives

They are racists against blue peoples fascist coping

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

grill-broke: "How dare a city be designed for people who actually live in the city in mind? It should be designed for snobby suburbanites who think they're too good for cities in the first place!"

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

The great liberation musicians of our times, Eifel 65, have composed a song both damning and motivating as per the blue peoples struggle for freedom. In this essay, I will

[–] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 21 points 10 months ago

Getting stuck for hours in traffic is so cool.

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

Getting stuck in a traffic jam of fisher price cars

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

A woke racist? So, a lib?

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

The only solution clownworld offers is clown cars.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Damn woke Minkowski spacetime frothingfash

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

What's with rightoids? They hate touching grass or something?

EDIT: Re-read my comment and tried to expand on it to avoid any possible ableism.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

They hate being outside where they might have to look at an Asian person or something.

They'd rather commute into the city so they can live in little white suburban enclaves

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Their legs don't work or something?

A lot of them develop severe mobility issues later in life due to their extremely sedentary life cycle.

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[–] 666PeaceKeepaGirl@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

if only my city had cars the size of traffic cones, maybe i too could experience the joy of being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

This is our Mattel Power Wheels dream.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Boston traffic really stuck with me having experienced it 15 years ago. And I wasn't even the driver.

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