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You're a big strong American? Drink this cold glass of tap water without complaining about the lack of flavour (hexbear.net)

submitted 7 months ago by tombruzzo@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] culpritus@hexbear.net 77 points 7 months ago

Lack of flavor? You obviously have never tasted the bouquet of flavor that is poor quality tap water in amerikkka

[-] btfod@hexbear.net 37 points 7 months ago

Mhyes top notes of benzene and unctuous mouthfeel

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 30 points 7 months ago

Mmmm old lead pipe flavour, the best

[-] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 9 points 7 months ago

Lead actually tastes sweet tho

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 26 points 7 months ago

I love trace amounts of uranium in my water supply

[-] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 7 months ago

Biggest reason Americans avoid water is how shitty it tastes from tap in so many places

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[-] pastalicious@hexbear.net 9 points 7 months ago

America’s Amaro

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 61 points 7 months ago

This is cruel. The cold would hurt them because teeth are luxury bones so all American teeth are very sensitive.

[-] Futterbinger@hexbear.net 51 points 7 months ago

I can't there's lead in it.

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 27 points 7 months ago

That's flavor

[-] culpritus@hexbear.net 23 points 7 months ago

It's carcinolicious!

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 50 points 7 months ago

[-] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 40 points 7 months ago

still can't believe he didn't even drink it

like, get fake 'local tap water' and drink it, or you know, just drink one actual fucking sip, you aren't going to instantly die from one sip as a 50 year old man

[-] Justice@lemmygrad.ml 32 points 7 months ago

I prefer to think about the deranged brainstorming sessions they had. "If i gulp the water, people will call it staged! If I sip too little they'll say I didn't drink enough. Alright, I'll split the difference and do the worst possible option: not drink the water AND go for a "tiny baby sip" look. That way I look like a total asshole"

Classic obungler bungling drinking water

[-] booty@hexbear.net 17 points 7 months ago

i honestly think he was somehow actually terrified of the water. man really thought he was gonna spontaneously combust if a single drop of that shit hit his stomach.

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago

takes a sip

immediately shits pants

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[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 13 points 7 months ago

Barfsack Ocrumbo

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 35 points 7 months ago

To be fair most American tapwater is poisoned

[-] wopazoo@hexbear.net 46 points 7 months ago

This is not true. Most American cities have clean tap water.

The idea that most American tap water is poisoned is a myth propagated by bottled water companies.

Clean tap water is a luxury that most of the world does not have. You should enjoy it while it's still here.

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 21 points 7 months ago

Ok, fair enough. I'm not American so I guess I had been given that impression by stories about Flint.

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 22 points 7 months ago

I find it wild how much it varies in the US. In Australia I just drink from the tap in any town or city and most rural properties. Some people still have those filters and things though

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago

Don't worry. It's only towns with a high minority population where this happens.

[-] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 21 points 7 months ago

Can back this up. It's even a joke among New Yorkers that their tap water is almost magical. However, this is very much a mixed bag, as we can see with Flint.

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 7 months ago

Additionally, American bottled water comes from the exact same municipal supply that tap water comes from, they just charge an extra 2000% mark up for adding extra microplastics from the bottle.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 28 points 7 months ago

Nothing better on a hot summer day than a tall glass of MILK. I am a WHITE MAN and WHITE MEN drink MILK.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 20 points 7 months ago

What is this "milk" you speak of? You mean white water?

[-] Dangy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 7 months ago

Skin milk

[-] WitchHazel@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 7 months ago

I get that from my local milk man but it's a crapshoot whether he delivers to the front door or the back door

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[-] plinky@hexbear.net 26 points 7 months ago

Why on earth would you put ice in water, treat-fiend sicko

[-] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 10 points 7 months ago

the cold makes it taste less of chlorine

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[-] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 26 points 7 months ago

There are many complaints you can make about American tap water, but lack of flavor is not one of them.

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 26 points 7 months ago

White people: Wow you had a spice in the kitchen when you made this food? I can't eat it now it's too spicy.

Also white people: Wow this can has more water in it than suger? I can't drink that I need something with flavor

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 25 points 7 months ago

My tap water tastes like chlorine.

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[-] HarryLime@hexbear.net 24 points 7 months ago

Ice water is a tasty treat

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 21 points 7 months ago

Nooo, don't drink it!! It's a Commie trap! strangelove-wow

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[-] FriendBesto@lemmy.ml 19 points 7 months ago

What do you mean lacking in all flavor? It is packed with delicious micro-plastics! For free!

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[-] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago

I honestly didn't know people hating water because of the lack of taste was a thing until my partner met one of her friends who has that exact problem. She cannot stand drinking water unless it has one of those flavor pouches in it

[-] FlaminGoku@reddthat.com 15 points 7 months ago

You can thank the sugar / cereal industry for that.

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago

buddy I'll complain that that's not enough ice water, gimme more

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 18 points 7 months ago

gimme one of those comically oversized gas station refillable mugs that's more like a bucket with a handle

[-] ped_xing@hexbear.net 16 points 7 months ago

My neighborhood pastry-and-coffee shop has cold brew, so I ordered one. They ask what size and I say large. They hand over a big gulp of cold brew. That would be great for somebody with a fridge and a sense of portion control, but I only have one of those, so I drank the whole thing within a few hours. Turns out you can get a headache from too much caffeine, too.

[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 13 points 7 months ago

Can I chew a fluoride bar with it?

[-] LesbianLiberty@hexbear.net 10 points 7 months ago

Yeah I find it pretty authoritarian when they put "flouride" in the water so I opted to get a well instead and drink more sulfur than god.

[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago

Not quite the same, but I fucking LOVE seltzer water (La Croix, etc), I STILL get people who come up and tell me they think they are disgusting and can only drink stuff with 'full flavor'. Childlike palates.

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[-] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago

Okay fine