this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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This person does not speak for the entire uncommitted movement. Many people participating will not be voting for Biden come November. And more importantly they won't be participating in any GotV campaigns for the general. There won't be any "heroic" GotV campaigns that carried Biden in 2020. I won't call it for Trump yet. He might not have any juice left in him either. But its going to be close.

If Biden wants my vote he can show he has the strength to twist Bibi's arm. The longer he takes the harder he better twist. His October surprise better be a No Fly Zone over Palestine, '67 borders. Obviously, he won't. But if we can pretend he will I can pretend I'll vote for him. Asking thousands of activists to not just vote for genocide but actively campaign for it is more futile than harassing Biden.

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[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 69 points 8 months ago (2 children)

For me to vote Biden he'd have to catch up and pay me the $80,000 in stimulus checks he owes me. Oh, he'd also have to:

  • Give Puerto Ricans the right to vote
  • Legalize weed
  • Forgive all student debt
  • Move American troops out of Taiwan, the Baltic states, Germany, Poland, Jordan, Iraq, Somalia, South Korea, Japan, etc etc etc
  • Launch a full scale invasion of Israel to liberate Palestine
  • Summarily execute every legislator that has voted to criminalize trans people's existence

So, IDK, he better get cooking soon if he wants my vote.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 29 points 8 months ago (1 children)

No mention of landlords, lib detected

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago

Landlords will be left to face the Revolutionary Tenants' Army's justice.

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 28 points 8 months ago (3 children)

~~Give Puerto Ricans the right to vote~~

"Free Puerto Rico" is much better.

Otherwise good list, but, yeah, no way I'm voting for Biden and a pig. I didn't the first time and I'm sure as hell not doing it the second time.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah absolutely, I just meant that it's literally impossible for me to vote otherwise lol

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[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 55 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I won't be voting uncommitted in the general election. I'm voting for Afroman

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 28 points 8 months ago

niko-dunk niko-dance

Sponsored showboating YES!

[–] RION@hexbear.net 54 points 8 months ago (2 children)

My #1 trick for negotiations is to announce from the get go that I will agree to whatever terms the other party wants

[–] blight@hexbear.net 19 points 8 months ago

They’re not even thinking in terms of negotiations, competition, or much less, conflict. It’s all about “raising awareness”, and loyalty to your team even when they’re doing poorly.

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[–] asg101@hexbear.net 43 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I have not voted for either faction of the corporate party for 50 years, won't start now.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 39 points 8 months ago

lea-resigned Fine I'll commit myself to vote .... greensicko-laser Jill Stein in the general...in Michigan...AGAIN michael-laugh

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 34 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'll vote Biden if he shoots Netanyahu on live television.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago

On the street on Fifth avenue

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[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 33 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

The Dems know that if their base vote for them while supporting a genocide then there is nothing they can do to make them not vote for them

Also link to the post

Lol there is people saying the uncommited movement is a GOP plot

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 29 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Damn, I haven't looked at Blahaj in a while, and it looks to be festering even more than I thought it would. Unironic "Drumpf" comments, holy shit.

Lol there is people saying the uncommited movement is a GOP plot

This was kind of inevitable. I'm surprised they said GOP and not Russia though, but give it maybe 3 months.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Next step: anybody who fails to vote for Biden will be monitored on suspicion of being a Kremlin agent

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 8 months ago

It's vital to protect our Freedom! We should also just make sure that Biden stays in power in perpetuity, to avoid future election fraud. Can't have election fraud without elections after all!

[–] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

that's a lotta crackas to keep tracka

[–] Runcible@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago

I'm surprised they said GOP and not Russia though, but give it maybe 3 months.

They're the same, obv

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 19 points 8 months ago

Ur Fascism Point #7: Obsession with a Plot

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 14 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

I used to work on a contract for a certain manager who, multiple times, admitted that Israel is committing genocide despite being any annoying centrist. Despite that, he still plans on voting for Biden lol.

Writing that makes me remember a story. We had a meeting at noon. Some of my coworkers were Muslim. After it finished, the manager asked us if we wanted anything from Starbucks cause he was grabbing lunch. One of the guys said “no, I’m never buying from them again.” The manager seemed confused and asked why, and he replied “they support Israel.” I chimed in and said “they’re enabling genocide.” The manager gives me the puzzled face and says “well I’m still going to buy Starbucks.” Nobody said anything, and so the manager continued, “I mean, what am I supposed to do? Not buy it? What else am I supposed to drink? Like I’m sorry Israel is doing that but what am I supposed to do?” We didn’t say anything after either lol

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Making my own coffee? In this economy?

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 33 points 8 months ago

Afaik the DNC said in open court that they're a private club and they can and will choose their candidate if the primaries pick the wrong candidate.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 32 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

You vote for Biden, you are genocide supporters giving a political mandate to a genocider. Simple as.

The only moral position is to not give genociders a mandate.

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 27 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The intent is to send a message. The message is "we will vote for you no matter what, so no need to make any policy changes sir."

[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 18 points 8 months ago

"The further right we move, the more of our base we alienate. Clearly this means we should move further right."

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 27 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Ah I didn't know the CEO of the uncommitted movement was among us

[–] blight@hexbear.net 15 points 8 months ago

if you look at my resume, you will be assured that i am well qualified fedposting

[–] StalinIsMaiWaifu@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 8 months ago
[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 27 points 8 months ago
[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 25 points 8 months ago

They can mald all they want. I'm voting Jill Stein because it'll be hilarious if she were to get a substantial portion of the vote in a swing state. You couldn't pay me to vote for Genocide Joe so I'm just going to use my vote to piss off people.

[–] boog@hexbear.net 25 points 8 months ago

Yeah I'm gonna have to parrot Felix here. I'm only going to vote for Biden if the Knesset is a smoking ruin and every member there is executed for war crimes on livestream in front of the entire world.

[–] IMF_DOOM@hexbear.net 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Also even saying this got them called a fascist tankie in the comments because they can't bear the thought of anyone even slightly disrespecting genocide Joe in any context that matters outside of snarky memes

[–] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Punnet square: axis #1, do you think Israel is committing genocide in Gaza? axis #2, do you think Trump will literal end democracy in America?

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[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 24 points 8 months ago

Remember kids

Akaza Akari will personally use the forbidden Bun Bazooka against any who dare use her likeness to excuse or promote voting for a racist genocidal bastard

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 24 points 8 months ago

chaser.zone, never change

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 24 points 8 months ago

If Biden continues the way he does most of the uncommitted voters arent going to vote at all.

[–] Ideology@hexbear.net 24 points 8 months ago

The "sending a message" narrative was one of the narratives used to explain ancaptain 's popularity in early elections too.

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 23 points 8 months ago

Whoah whoah whoah! Hold on a minute here! Who said anything about our protest vote actually doing anything? I thought we were just doing it to feel smug and superior? Now you tell me you actually want...results? You actually want the change you were advocating for? I can't believe this!

[–] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 23 points 8 months ago

I don't plan to vote for the genocidal corpse-emperor. I don't care if the light of the Astronomican goes out, the tech-priests can learn to live without their treats.

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 22 points 8 months ago
[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Lol liberals fantasize about childish violence and insults and sometimes they mature to fantasies of political violence. But they’ll never commit to it unless it involves a drone strike in a trailer. They can’t be bothered to celebrate the deaths of genocidal maniacs and they think they can muster the will to physically kick anyone

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[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I live in a vital swing state and I will make it a point to vote uncommitted in the general, I've already convinced other family members to do it too

Eat shit libs

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[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 16 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

As always I'll vote in local elections, but I'm gonna write in "uncommitted" for all of the state and national races. It's a little joke just for me.

His October surprise better be a No Fly Zone over Palestine, '67 borders

At this point the only thing that would sway me to Genocide Joe would be the Marines invading Tel Aviv and doing to Israel's fascist military what Russia did to Ukraine's, then lining up every single Netanyahu official and West Bank settler against a wall.

[–] Taster_Of_Treats@hexbear.net 15 points 8 months ago

"I'm one of the good ones" she said to the genocidal tyrant.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

People are really gonna bother taking time to go outside to a place and stand in line to vote that they aren't voting? Just stay home, eat cheetos and masturbate.

[–] RedQuestionAsker2@hexbear.net 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Maoo@hexbear.net 13 points 8 months ago

Man libs are pretty dumb huh?

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Why give up all leverage before the general election even starts? Why start negotiations from a place of complete weakness? Even if you are planning to vote for Biden, you don't say that or admit that now! There needs to be a real threat of not voting for Biden in the general election so that concessions can be granted in exchange for your vote for Biden in the general election. That is how politics generally work. If there is no threat, why would Biden ever make concessions? He knows that he has your vote already, there is no incentive for him, or pressure on him to do so. There needs to be some actual actual pressure.

How are radlibs this bad at politics?

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