105

You'll realize that lines total bullcrap in 10 seconds.

Aries works for this too.

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[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 51 points 3 months ago

My trick with astrology people is "i don't believe in astrology because i'm an aquarius".

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 31 points 3 months ago

my trick with astrology people is pulling down my pants and taking a shit on the floor (i've been holding it a long time so it comes out quick) whenever they speak

[-] Angel@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

"Thank God I'm an atheist."

[-] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

What if they hit you with a lil', when the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars ♫?

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago
[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago

I'm definitely going to remember this

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 40 points 3 months ago

I'm not a formal "astrologist", but I did choose bulbasaur in Pokemon Red. This means I have all of the good traits and none of the bad ones. I can mate with any other sign or pokemon but choose not to because bulbasaur is the wisdom symbol.

[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago

Way more valid than astrology

[-] M68040@hexbear.net 37 points 3 months ago

Assigned Slytherin At Birth

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 30 points 3 months ago

Scorpios are okay but by the time you can make more than a couple of them you're better off using your workshops to make onagers or just saving the resources for trebuchets.

[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago

If you're a woman looking to pick up dudes, just talk about how you think astrology is nonsense.

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[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago

Picking up on just enough astrology is a good way to pick up hot people with that crystal aesthetic. Then they look at my chart and its a recreation of the beginning of Toby Dammit so it doesn't last long.

[-] Saeculum@hexbear.net 30 points 3 months ago

The downside is that they believe in astrology.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago

yea the number of cute lesbians who have astrology brainworms is agonizingly high

[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

I'm recently back on the dating scene and it's not much better for straight women

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

oh i remember. honestly i am begging women to stop putting so much stock into a belief system that (seemingly?) determines your value based entirely on immutable characteristics

you'd think we'd have enough of that to deal with from society but here we are

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

There's probably a connection between the trauma of being forced into boxes at birth and belief in astrology, which is why men aren't into astrology because they've always been told they can be anything.

Basically a cope.

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Its a universal deal, from gsrm to cishets plenty love their astrology... Or maybe I have a type idk boohoo

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

True, but there's worse things that someone can believe in. Upside can get on their good side with very little effort.

[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

Uh oh are we gonna have another astrology struggle session

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

I'm ENTJ. What's your sign?

[-] DrCrustacean@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago
[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

Antonio Gramsci's Useless Intellectual

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I was just thinking it's been awhile since we got a good kerfluffle and astrology is juuust stupid enough to be right for it. here's hoping.

[-] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago
[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 30 points 3 months ago

If you have misgivings about astrology it's because you hate women (pay no attention to the people who have been discriminated against on housing or jobs because of their astrological sign)

[-] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

Not liking a system that assigns value to human lives based on immutable characteristics determined at birth is actually misogynist and homophobic sweaty

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago

Actually, it's because you hate women AND queers

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

Oh we've had a whole bunch, they've just never been sitewide brawls like some of the more notable struggle sessions

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

Book title: The Hellenistic Astrology of Outdoor Cats and Asswiping

[-] autism_2@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

The audacity to be born in April. I think someone should kill you

[-] DerRedMax@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

My partner just finished a certificate program for astrology. I was definitely a skeptic but I support her, especially in things she’s passionate about. I’ve come to understand it as basically an elaborate way of tracking patterns in living things from people to stars.

I’m fascinated how the astrological calendar lines up with other calendars. It’s clear Netanyahu is following the Jewish calendar for the war and it’s lined up with events in the astrological calendar. There are indications that something major will happen in the conflict - my guess is agression towards Lebanon - in the next ten days with the fast of the 17th of Tammuz on July 23. The Anaretic Full Moon in Capricorn is on July 21.

That being said, she probably would laugh at the jokes in this thread and loathes armchair internet “astrologers”.

[-] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

an elaborate way of hallucinating a "pattern"

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Or the other way: A built-in schedule to follow, particularly if that schedule comes with predictions of good/bad luck.

[-] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

Ask em about Geminis.

[-] Babs@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago

I used to live with some astrology lesbians and they were very insistent on knowing my exact minute of birth.

No idea what they ended up doing with that information ngl.

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

You fool, that's all they needed for the ritual to discover your true name, now you've granted them power over yourself!

[-] Babs@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

Oh no, I'm being overpowered by the astrology lesbians? How awful! soviet-bottom

[-] AlpineSteakHouse@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

Astrology is just a socially acceptable way to ask when your birthday is.

[-] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

...and then make sweeping judgements about someone with it.

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

I knew a lady that was a Scorpio. She had a mug with her sign and the little positive traits on it. Absolutely wonderful person and character in her own right. I can imagine it was an annoying thing to hear people talking shit with actual bile-filled intent.

[-] Barabas@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

I just like astrology because I invariably get the dickhead signs in all the different ways people look at it.

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

Scorpio is the most common sign so hating scorpios is actually elitism or something.

[-] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

I’m a cancer and that’s the best sign. Suck it

[-] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Carcinization

[-] duderium@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You gotta problem with scorpios???? This is anti-scorpio discrimination! anti-italian-discrimination

[-] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

What's wrong with Scorpio?

I could care less than the fact that it exists...

That being said, if you're born beyond July 31 and before Jan. 1, your day of birth is probably lame... why didn't ye get out of the womb earlier, plus, it reminds me of the end of summer breaks

Other than that, I don't see anything that stops them from being their own person...

[-] CupcakeOfSpice@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Okay, but do you KNOW Vriska?

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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse

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