the mall ninja uprising continues. first trump, now this.
this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse
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we need c/mallninjashit
Dude just CHOOSE SOMETHING
He was training weapon skill in case he got an end game item later.
The cops robbed a Walking Dead cosplayer.
Nightstick with an axe-head taped onto the end is sure... something
Confirms dude tweaks.
With the amount of money he spent on melee weapons, he probably could’ve bought a few more magazines instead of carrying around loose ammo in bags and boxes
Also: “cache of weapons”. This is a terrible cache.
The home made whip thing looks cool though.
It's the blowtorch for repairing turrets?
Dabs.
yea like one or two good melee weapons would at least sort of make sense, but this is like some high school's 'locker check day' haul of shit 16 year olds made out of boredom. i guess we are lucky that the kind of person that would plan better isn't the kind of person that would do something like this.
Expected to see a Hitachi wand mixed in
i seriously mistook the duct tape whip for an inflatable plug at first
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He had stolen cop body armor? Nice.
My favorite part is that he was driving around with this in his car, and the fuckin PR officer is immediately like "THIS IS WHY OUR SUBWAYS ARE SO DANGEROUS" and the subways arent even dangerous. get fucked piggy
No way would those cops have been able to stop him if he had had a katana. Katanas work both in close range combat and at range (just tie it to a rubber band and throw it), it's basically like a cheat code. He would have been invincible.
Yeah but if the cops did somehow stop him, then the cops would have a katana. If they were to then find out about youtube videos showing how to do kenjutsu, revolution would become impossible
That's a danger, but katanas can only be made by folding steel. American cops cannot fold steel, so they would just have the one katana. They would probably give it to the president, so he would be untouchable, but he can't be everywhere at once. And since a katana will break if you act dishonorably I don't even know how long that would last.
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we had to book em chief he had pocket rocks
pocket rocks?
yea chief rocks you keep in your pocket to throw at innocent people, that's why we had to book him
Daily carry threads in a tailspin
This is what my stash looks like in extremely-early-game Death Must Die. Broseph is just trying to figure out his build 
Wtf is the blow torch for? Were they gonna solder some copper pipes on their rampage?
Edit: ALSO WHY A HIGH-VIS???
there's a bit about wearing a hi vis vest, generally professional attire, a hardhat and carrying a clipboard will let someone maneuver around restricted access places unchallenged.
sort of a hide-in-plain-site thing.
I guess this is the fake cop/whacker equivalent.
I think the Guy Fawkes mask would give them away
i assumed they found all this crap in his car, not equipped all at once. though that would be much cooler to see.
EDIT:
i looked up his arrest photo. his shirt is like something i would expect on someone who sells apple butter at a farmers market to be wearing to a pottery class at the annex.
Yes but it's funny to image him trying to sneak into a power plant with a high vis and a GF mask
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Just imagining what the guy looked like carrying all this shit is hilarious.
It's a crime that nobody took a picture of him
Edit: apparently they pulled him over bc the license plate on his car was blacked out and found all this shit inside. The most boring outcome.
bc the license plate on his car was blacked out
Are you serious? How amateur can a person be, that's the EASIEST way to draw pig suspicion. He might as well have driven around plateless for all the good blacking it out would've ever done smfh
New character in John Wick film dropped
"They call him, the 'Mall Ninja'"
Was half expecting to see a batleth there
oh shit the tactical knife taped to an axe, very dangerous
Not pictured: Pocky and incense
that hatchet-knife electrical taped together lmao what did he even think he was going to do with that? 2/10 on the 
scale
That's a pretty fucking terrifying fluro vest he has there.
Poor guy didn't realize the mall ninja store was replaced with an Adam and Eve until he was half way home with the whip and handcuffs.
Cops; new york city is an incredibly dangerous war zone and you could be murdered at like basically any time for no reason
Some guy: okay i will dress like batman to be safe from all the murders
Cops: you are under arrest, batman.
Do y'all really not have a pile of mall ninja crap? I have like three different black machetes i use in the garden and i find a couple of shuriken every time i clean out my sock drawer.
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