this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can we please just let the conservatives near the lathe when they're saying cool shit like this?

"America is literally being invaded, one of the presidential candidates is a communist, climate change isn't happening"

lathe-of-heaven

Boom, got you, suckers.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Making a Command and Conquer game setting come true curry-space

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[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 48 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

Beyond military scope? Like do the have plasma weapons or some shit?

[–] pumpchilienthusiast@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

“Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range.”

[–] WaterBowlSlime@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cuba is supplying them with Havana syndrome shock blasters

[–] anarcho_blinkenist@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

not the hangover ray!! capitaldcolon

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

"My uncle at MIT was a very smart guy - very smart guy. One day I said to him 'What are you working on?' He said 'Top secret - very secret - above top secret nuclear secret - I can't say.' But I wanna know so I say 'Uncle, but I wanna know.' He says 'Okay. The Plasma.' My uncle was 257 IQ. So not just a regular genius - special genius. I'm smart too so I know The Plasma. But I don't know how so I say 'How?' And he says 'Some time in the future there will be The Plasma Weapons. These weapons will be very, very powerful. Blow up a tank or a house a mile away. Just like that.' And he snapped his fingers. The Plasma - I know The Plasma."

[–] Anvil_Lavigne@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

pls let it be BFG timmy-pray

[–] riseuppikmin@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

The Venezuelan ion cannons are currently destroying the space force cruisers

[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

He’s seen some of the Space Marine 2 footage and is worried that immigrants are deep striking over the border in drop pods with bolters.

[–] yuritopia@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Yeah, they brought needlers and know where the Fuel Rod Gun spawns. One's already Running Riot with the plasma sword.

[–] m532@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Maybe its hypersonics

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hell yes. Uncritical support for our auto-cannon toting immigrant comrades.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This man is your friend

He fights for freedom

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

lmao the dude is afraid of guns now

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When wasn't he afraid of guns? Has he ever been shown even touching a gun?

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Given how much of a rifle fucker he talks in the media this is the only picture of him with one.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

He probably washed his hands swollen pink after touching that.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There's a long standing rumor that he had one of the very, very, very few concealed carry permits in nyc.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

One of the most concealed, believe me. More and more people are saying it. trump-yassifiedxi-gun-2

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There is no way this dude knows how to operate a firearm safely

Maybe he'll pull a Plaxico Burress

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

He's the type of guy who, if he was 15% more interested in the gun type of performative masculinity, would absolutely have blown one of his nuts off by age 34

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[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago

“Folks, these immigrants, they’re coming in with these guns, huge guns, so long, so long. American guns, they’re tiny, itty bitty, next to these monster guns the immigrants have, that Kamala is letting into our country. Americans, they pull out their guns next to these immigrant guns, they feel insignificant, useless!”

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The immigrants, they've got beyond mil-spec tech. Real wiz chrome. We're talking beyond delta grade folks. Never seen anything like it.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The immigrants, they got no essence. Negative essence, folks. They should be dead, but they're kept in a state of dreamlike induced hallucinations. It's Aztechnology, probably. They're sending their best this time. trump-anguish

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

@LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net might get a call for a run soon. Minimal complications. sus

[–] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s what the face always says. Any runner worth their credits has had plenty of “minimally complicated” jobs. Haha!

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

I can't help but wonder what the response would be from the typical team if the Johnson said "yeah this is going to suck. Get ready for pain." unsus

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Picturing an immigrant hauling 30 pounds of machine gun and ammo a thousand miles

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

hostile migrants have machine guns beyond 'military scope,' 'massive machine gun-type equipment.'

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Sometimes I feel silly writing "Amerikkka" but Amerikkkans are literally paranoid nazis, inventing new ways to be racist every day.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hostile Migrants have Gundams now folks, many people are saying it, many people

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

o shit oh fuck the immigrants are coming from outer space now with their superior vacuum alloys

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[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

Every time he's on stage he must be worried about getting got.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

@Tervell@hexbear.net I need your expertise regarding massive machine gun-type equipment, especially when used noscope 360.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

I've seen videos, folks, incredible videos of VUVUZELIAN immigrants doing no scope 360 shots on police with machine guns so powerful, so powerful, mom get the camera trump-anguish

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

The immigrants have Gauss weapons! I repeat, the immigrants have Gauss Weapons!

[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

machine guns beyond 'military scope,' 'massive machine gun-type equipment.'

Imperial Guard when they face Chaos Space Marines for the first time

[–] Finger@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

no more half measures walter

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The immigrants have invaded roswell and are descending upon BFE, Flyover-State with alien super lasers!

[–] StalinStan@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

I want a lowrider technical with hydraulics to help with the recoil.

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago
[–] KoboldKomrade@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

In a reasonable society, this type of rhetoric would be punishable by 20 years in the gulag.

[–] Civility@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Migrants crossing the border with Puckle Guns and Cannister Shot while ICE is still armed with smoothbore muskets. SAD!

[–] SexMachineStalin@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Oh sweet Maduro got the hookup for the Doom 2016 Mobile Turret and UT GOTY Minigun

[–] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I wish this were true

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