This guy is like if America had a pope
Imagine not meeting the requirements to be an astronaut and spending your whole life telling people that ACTUALLY you gave up on your dreams because it seemed dangerous.
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I was trying to figure out how the Challenger "cut short" him being an astronaut. That makes sense
Who knew being an astronaut could be dangerous? No one knew this 
Turned out he was somewhat correct since after next crash US forgot rocket science for a decade.
Is that it? He didn't even qualify? I was wondering how 7 dead astronauts made his chances to fly less likely...
I'm assuming so, since it's not like we cancelled all human spaceflight after the disaster, but if my man's greatest accomplishment was buying a McDonald's franchise then I don't think he was ever on the level of an astronaut - most of them have multiple degrees and a ton of experience doing research on Earth before they ever interview at NASA. The days when they were test pilots are long gone.
so this is like distilled essence of 100% pure burgerpunk isn't it??
baconpunk
I would say yes
Explaining the virtue of perseverance through the lens of the perils of manned spaceflight to Americans: imagine selling burgers
So you never became the thing you wanted and you also turned into a human corporate pig?
Depressing bro.
I wanted to join Starfleet, but I settled for Ferenginar
Check out the logo for the China National Space Administration, they just mixed the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet logos together
Also check Roskosmos and ISRO, all those people are living the Trek already lol.
fuck this asshole and his implication that most people just aren't willing to work hard enough to purchase a McDonald's franchise
Maybe if all these zoomlineals stopped buying avocado toast and Zoloft they'd be able to scrape together a few million dollars for a McDonald's of their own
Then they could simply purchase things from their friends McDonald's in a circular fashion to increase the GDP infinitely
I mean you only need like what, like a few hundred thousand to do that, and about the same net worth. What's stopping you?
McDonald's franchisee applicants must have a minimum of $500,000 available in liquid assets and pay a $45,000 franchise fee. Those looking to launch a new McDonald's franchise can expect to shell out between $1,314,500 and $2,306,500. Existing franchise operations can cost upwards of $1 million.
Even worse than i thought! If i could afford a McDonald's, i wouldn't need to own one to begin with.
From hog farmer to hog farmer. A true American Hero
So his Congressional tenure is post-hog?
fucking pussy is afraid of a little explosion
Yeah I don’t know how he intended that to be taken other than bitch made.
If you gave me a seat on a rocket I'd be on it on an instant. This guy is a baby
How much your parents earn? Tell us, what do they do?
nice linkedin post
If you just work hard (and receive generational wealth), you too can become a ~~small business kulak~~ franchisee.
Keep farming those big girthy hogs dude. Respect. 
"Including hog farming"
Giving up my desire to be a space man to instead be a burgerman.
Same diff nbd
I read Hot Dog Farmer for a second and it conjured some imagery to say the least.
Cattails. A real explosion of flavor.
:lindsay-ellis-hotdogs-to-face-gif:
America has had a Chief Justice Burger in the past, how long until we get a President Burger.
Shoot for the moon and you will reach the point of underpaying kids to serve junk food that funds your pool.
Linkedin-ass post
Hog out or log out, congressman.
After Joe Biden was elected president, I had to abandon my dreams of being a drug dealer.