this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse

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This guy is like if America had a pope

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[–] CrushKillDestroySwag@hexbear.net 68 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Imagine not meeting the requirements to be an astronaut and spending your whole life telling people that ACTUALLY you gave up on your dreams because it seemed dangerous.

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I was trying to figure out how the Challenger "cut short" him being an astronaut. That makes sense

Who knew being an astronaut could be dangerous? No one knew this a-little-trolling

Turned out he was somewhat correct since after next crash US forgot rocket science for a decade.

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is that it? He didn't even qualify? I was wondering how 7 dead astronauts made his chances to fly less likely...

[–] CrushKillDestroySwag@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I'm assuming so, since it's not like we cancelled all human spaceflight after the disaster, but if my man's greatest accomplishment was buying a McDonald's franchise then I don't think he was ever on the level of an astronaut - most of them have multiple degrees and a ton of experience doing research on Earth before they ever interview at NASA. The days when they were test pilots are long gone.

[–] Des@hexbear.net 64 points 2 years ago (2 children)

so this is like distilled essence of 100% pure burgerpunk isn't it??

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago
[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

I would say yes

[–] impiri@lemm.ee 56 points 2 years ago

Explaining the virtue of perseverance through the lens of the perils of manned spaceflight to Americans: imagine selling burgers

[–] sourquincelog@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I wanted to join Starfleet, but I settled for Ferenginar

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Check out the logo for the China National Space Administration, they just mixed the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet logos together

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Also check Roskosmos and ISRO, all those people are living the Trek already lol.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 44 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

fuck this asshole and his implication that most people just aren't willing to work hard enough to purchase a McDonald's franchise

[–] Sinonatrix@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Maybe if all these zoomlineals stopped buying avocado toast and Zoloft they'd be able to scrape together a few million dollars for a McDonald's of their own

Then they could simply purchase things from their friends McDonald's in a circular fashion to increase the GDP infinitely

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I mean you only need like what, like a few hundred thousand to do that, and about the same net worth. What's stopping you?

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

McDonald's franchisee applicants must have a minimum of $500,000 available in liquid assets and pay a $45,000 franchise fee. Those looking to launch a new McDonald's franchise can expect to shell out between $1,314,500 and $2,306,500. Existing franchise operations can cost upwards of $1 million.

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

Even worse than i thought! If i could afford a McDonald's, i wouldn't need to own one to begin with.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (2 children)

fucking pussy is afraid of a little explosion

[–] Tunnelvision@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Yeah I don’t know how he intended that to be taken other than bitch made.

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

If you gave me a seat on a rocket I'd be on it on an instant. This guy is a baby

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago

So his Congressional tenure is post-hog?

[–] driving_crooner 25 points 2 years ago

How much your parents earn? Tell us, what do they do?

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

If you just work hard (and receive generational wealth), you too can become a ~~small business kulak~~ franchisee.

[–] flan@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

nice linkedin post

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago

Keep farming those big girthy hogs dude. Respect. rat-salute-2

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

"Including hog farming"

chefs-kiss

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

Giving up my desire to be a space man to instead be a burgerman.

Same diff nbd

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I read Hot Dog Farmer for a second and it conjured some imagery to say the least.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

Cattails. A real explosion of flavor.

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

:lindsay-ellis-hotdogs-to-face-gif:

[–] ZapataCadabra@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

America has had a Chief Justice Burger in the past, how long until we get a President Burger.

[–] 420stalin69@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

Shoot for the moon and you will reach the point of underpaying kids to serve junk food that funds your pool.

[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Linkedin-ass post

[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago
[–] DickFuckarelli@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Hog out or log out, congressman.

[–] allthetimesivedied@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

After Joe Biden was elected president, I had to abandon my dreams of being a drug dealer.