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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 61 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

My balls are so full and heavy with plastic I'm shooting out hot liquid g.i. joes every time I coom.

[-] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

That's why they call you the 3D printer peen

[-] morte@hexbear.net 52 points 5 months ago

Gross get em out of me

And by that i mean my testicles

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

I got you fam! gui-trans This will only hurt once... But damn will it hurt! Afterwards you do me, yeah?

[-] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 5 months ago
[-] pumpchilienthusiast@hexbear.net 50 points 5 months ago

life in plastic, it’s fantastic

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 44 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

t girls solidarity barbie dolls

being full of plastic

[-] dadarobot@lemmy.sdf.org 37 points 5 months ago

How do they know? No one's checked mine. Can yall have someone sent over?

[-] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 41 points 5 months ago

The IOF sperm squad checked you while you slept

[-] axont@hexbear.net 20 points 5 months ago

You don't get regular visits from your neighborhood ball and penis inspector?

[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

I'd bet money if this existed it'd be British

[-] Posadas@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

oi mate you got a loicense for them testicules

[-] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

sorry mate regulation says yours are too large

[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

tired: hard dick

wired: hard balls

Death to America

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 33 points 5 months ago

I'm sure that won't have any consequences whatsoever

[-] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 29 points 5 months ago

ooh I should get mine out of the freezer and have a look

[-] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 29 points 5 months ago

Brace yourselves for some concern trolling about fertility rates

[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago

What if a mutation occurs and the plastic becomes part of the baby’s DNA making him extremely flexible and immortal

[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)
[-] DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

And with the power to..... MELT clark-kent-stare

[-] Lurker123@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago

Has plastic surgery gone too far??

No, but seriously, microplastics are horrifying.

[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago

Half man, half microplastics

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago

When everyone's balls fill up with plastics, we'll invent time travel, and send them back in time to be used as super bouncy balls. That's where those come from. It's very important that we keep polluting the environment with microplastics to preserve the stable time loop.

[-] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 24 points 5 months ago

I've been practicing microplastics retention for 10 years now. So far I have already mastered levitation, reading minds and even more amzingly, I am extremely close to having full control over the size of my moobs.

[-] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

if I have a vasectomy there's nothing exiting my balls when I cum, does that mean my balls are slowly filling with plastic?

[-] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

If I double or triple my busting am I emptying my balls of the buildup? Like donating blood and lessening the amount of PFAS in your body? I'm only partially joking

[-] Mindfury@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago

Much like the regular police protect capital and property, the volcel police are protecting big plastic & petroleum

[-] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

you still bust with a vasectomy, but your gun's not loaded anymore

[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

After vasectomy, what you bust comes only from the prostate, while the swimmers are stuck in the balls, so yes, your balls will end up fully buoyant

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

ping pong balls

[-] DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

I really don't like the sound or thought of this like i don't want that cum just building up in there any more than i want plastic

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[-] betelgeuse@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily plastics.

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

nah pops i wasn't crankin it i was expelling microplastics

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

Wonder if they disrupt hormones?

[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago
[-] Des@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

im like "god that would be so fucking cool" as i dine on a credit card with a knife and fork

[-] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

I guess it's a good thing I got mine removed. One less place to store the substance that will probably kill me in 30 years.

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this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
185 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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