chapotraphouse

I was raised in such a way that I ended up terrified of my father through no fault of his own until I was in my mid-20s and had some serious therapizing and some situations that gave me opportunity to reevaluate my entire life and start fresh. Today I think he's a wonderful man and father, and I regret every day how much damage was done to my relationship with him by my teenage self.

My stepfather on the other hand: I hope he never forgets what he did to me. I hope he regrets it every day. I hope it wakes him up at night from nightmares just like mine do. I wish him nothing but what I am left with as a result of his doing. Anxieties, hypervigilance, imposter syndrome, a lasting fear of a hand anywhere near the neck, flashbacks.

not me lol

My dad is neat. My mum not so much

i love my dad a whole bunch

I do

My dad could've gone full chud of his wife hadn't showed up. Now they're just well off centrist idiots. They're fine

i love my dad, he's a goofy old git with a socialist vibe.

I wish my dad was still alive.

He’s the first person (besides the psych at the military) that I came out to, and he’s also the one that convinced me to give transitioning another try after I lost hope and did nothing for over 2 years due to a transphobic therapist manipulating and backstabbing me. So without his help I certainly wouldn’t be alive anymore.

My dad, for the most part, is a model of who I would like to be as a person. Sure, he is not infallible, but he genuinely wants better for other people, exhibits an admirable work ethic for his community, and is always attempting to learn more and better himself.

Me. My dad rocks.

my dad is my best friend

My dad is great! I love him a lot. He gets some stuff wrong but he tries real hard and loves me a lot too, basically all i could ask.

I couldn't stand him when I was growing up. He's actually my step dad, but I've known him since I was like five. He is a blue collar, salt of the earth type and was moderately conservative by today's standards when I was growing up. When my worldview was limited, I saw him as some sort of redneck workaholic guy who would come home angry every day. We always tried to steer clear of him when he was home because if we got in his eye line, he would find some crazy projects for us kids to go work on. Usually involving crazy manual labor that kids shouldn't have been doing. But that's how he grew up.

As I got older and got a job and responsibilities of my own, I realized he was just doing his best and had a lot on his plate. He was never physically abusive towards us, but I was still a little afraid of him when I was young. I grew up in a family with no other kids until I was 8. And I mean no other kids. I have no cousins or anything. I was raised by a bunch of older Midwestern Catholic ladies. I think my dad took it up on himself to "man me up" which I resisted at every turn. I'm glad he taught me about fixing things and helping others though. I've saved so much money with the DIY mentality he gave me. He's devoted to his family and to this day will drop everything to help just about anyone. He's not perfect, but I'm super thankful he was and is in my life. We still don't really see eye to eye on a lot of stuff, but in a lot of ways I turned into him. It's a strong case for nurture in the nature/nurture debate.

Yeah I loved my dad. He was a very gentle man and deep down I think he would have made a great communist. I wish he was still around so I could discuss it all with him

I have a positive impression of my dad as a whole, but I often wonder if that's really just because he was part of my life so comparatively briefly.

I love my dad. He's one of the best human being I know, very selfless in the way his Catholic faith (tried and failed to pass that on to me) taught him to be. He's certainly not without his flaws, but we all deal with misguided decisions and personality quirks. I had a rebellious teenage phase for sure and didn't appreciate him, but all it took was a few years living outside the house to put my head on straighter. He informs a lot about what it means to be masculine for me: strong, helpful, quiet, supportive. focused on family but at the same time not embarrassed by perhaps less manly things he did like love his farm cats, be a huge Trekkie (didn't pass that on to me either) and loves to watch romantic comedies with my mom. When his doctor told him he had to lose weight for his health, he lost the weight through denying himself a lot of his vices (most notably sugary soda).

I hope my son sees me half as well I see him.

My dad passed away about 10 years ago due to complications from a long term chronic illness. I've had to do a lot of unpacking and work in that time especially following my own divorce. A pretty common trend you see among kids who have had parents that needed the kind of long term care and medical impact my dad had is it's not really until after they pass that you can sort of separate them as a person from the disease and the impact it had on your lives. We also have some weird overlaps with children of narcissistic parenting because we usually wind up not having all our needs met growing up. Lots of codependency issues.

Tldr; I had a great dad and I love and miss him, for all his failings. Honestly: just imagine if Hank Hill was a marine turned chef and you can kinda get the picture. Simple man who couldn't even understand me half the time but loved me unconditionally every second we were together even while he was trying to keep his own shit together.

In the sense of everybody turns into their parents (horror), if I turned out like my dad I'd be chuffed. Dude's great

I fucking adore my dad. Probably the most important person in my life.

Nope, I don't think he's a terrible person, but he's not a good dad. It's pretty clear now that he never really had any passion for anything (or he did and never chased it, I guess we have something in common) and just kinda went with the plan for boomers. So he got a boring job that paid enough to have a house and two cars and 3 kids. He went to work and spent time with the kids occasionally. But he never taught me anything how to shave? Mom got me a razor and told me to figure it out. How to talk to girls, or date or anything? Nope, he vaguely alluded to making sure I only jerked off in my bedroom when I was like 16. And then never talked about sex or dating or relationships at all. Had a hard day? Well he'll just shrug and go "yep it sucks out there sometimes".

And that's probably the best part about him. His treatment of my mother is infuriating, not because he's actively abusive, but because he doesn't do anything and acts like because he worked for 25 years (he retired early because he got too tired of working at 57 and basically nuked their retirement plan causing my mom to have to work until her RA diagnosis which forced her to retire in 50s) he has earned being a lazy shit head who only needs to wash the dishes and take out the garbage. He can't cook, hates cleaning, and basically sits in front of a computer all day playing free to play mobile games on it while watching ESPN all day until the games themselves come on. He has no reason to leave the house and begrudgingly walks the dog. He's basically done this for over fifteen years and is now in his 70s. My mom has begged him to get therapy or couples counselling and he has stoically refused to even discuss it.

My pops is an old school male chauvinist socialist. He has always supported Cuba, and we can get into great conversations about socialism and liberalism. But, he’ll also make ridiculous statements about women, and he is the typical boomer who would still work 10 hours a day if he could. He went to college and did well for himself, buying multiple houses and becoming a landlord 🤮 but he never charged more than mortgage+prpperty tax, so he never made a profit, and his perspective is that he grew up hella poor, living on beans and rice most of his life, and he didn’t want that for his kids, so he figured he could at least give them houses. He’s sold most of the houses to the tenants living in them, even paying down payment for one of them (illegally through a shell game to keep him and the tenants from getting in trouble). Overall, he’s a good man, who just wants the best for everyone, just has some of those boomer brainworms, and I love him very much. I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for him encouraging me my whole life. He even got me my first decent job, fixing computers, when I diagnosed my laptop before we took it to a repair shop, where they came to the same conclusion I did.

My dad is great, even though I can't stand to play a game of chess with him, he's been incredibly supportive my whole life.

I love my dad, and I like his company.

I have no idea who my dad is, but I'm sure he is not even quite as cool as Stalin

I do, he is a very kind person and deserving of love! He does have the typical flaws of his generation but to a lesser extent than a ton of other men I know

Anyone who's been on hexbear long enough will tell you about my dad and how awful he is so I don't have to detail it for you how he's trying to get me homeless.

Pops was never too involved, but he's a lot of fun and he does care.

He just needs some reeducation

My dad is a major narcissist. Never truly able to see things outside of himself or his reputation. However, a major part of his self image is trying to be a good dad and maintaining liberal ideas on racism and homophobia (that it’s bad). He tries his best to do right by me and my sister, even if he can sometimes be a huge baby about it. He will pretty much never listen to a dissenting idea that comes from me but if I’m later corroborated by a liberal rag like NYT he’ll come back and tell me I was right.

When I came out to him he handled it much better than my mother (although tbf it was 5 years later).

TL;DR: My dads a huge baby that I’ve learned to mostly ignore for my own sanity but I never questioned if he loved me.

From what I understand of my dad, he was a pretty decent guy. He died in an accident about 25 years ago. What memories I have are pleasant, going over old photos suggests he was genuinely liked, and the surviving family have only ever spoken positively of him.

I’d have potentially been a better, less bitter person overall if he was still around.

I would take a bullet for mine.

Nope. I feel somewhat guilty admitting it, because he tried to be a good dad. But ultimately I think even him trying to be a good dad was motivated by selfish concerns. He's also hardcore MAGA, so go figure.

I wonder sometimes what it's like to have a dad. I genuinely can't relate. Mine was in and out of my life, never raised by him, saw him once every few years. He's familiar the same way seeing someone you've seen around town before is familiar, but not in a way that brings any kind of warmth or comradery.

I don't really have any strong feelings towards him. He's attempted to rekindle a relationship between us, but I'm almost 40 now and it feels like trying to bond with a coworker that you don't have anything in common with. He drinks a lot. Id probably call him more often if he was sober. Then again, I don't know what I'd say to a stranger. Do we talk about the weather? The handful of memories we share from childhood? That's always an easy go-to.

So, no, I don't dislike my dad. I don't even know him. He's just this figure that has been somewhat present at various times in my life without any sort of deeper emotional attachment, like a familiar dream I keep having.

My dad is a good man, but we’ve always had a complicated relationship because everything has been about sports

I do. The only thing I dislike about him is his reluctance to listen or watch newer media (or even different older media), and I wish he spent less time on his golf game, but otherwise the man has been a class act for pretty much my entire life, even when he was working non-stop.

Me

I like my dad.

My dad is a (non-white) racist belligerent asshole who makes me feel the most intense anxiety every time I speak to him, but he also always has my back at the end of the day so idk, it's weird. Wouldn't say I hate him, but I don't ever want to have to talk to him or be around him.